Green Tip #104: No More Automated Sinks

Wow, I really do like doing Green Tips about bathrooms, don't I? Well, this is one of the rare ones that doesn't have anything to do with water conservation. Yup, this one is about saving natural gas or electricity.

This is the point where you say "HUH?" I mean, who even uses natural gas in the bathroom? Unless you're super rich and have a fireplace in the bathroom. Man, that would be awesome... Because if you've got a fireplace in your toilet, it would follow that you would have some fancy leather high-backed chairs in there too so you can sit in front of your fireplace. And what's the point of fancy leather high-backed chairs if you don't have a bar fully stocked with expensive scotch and brandy and a humidor with nothing but the finest imported Cuban cigars. And why sit around in such opulence unless you had priceless leather-bound books to look at and not ever read because you never want to ruin the ancient bindings?

So, if all this is in your bathroom, you'd want to make sure your hands are clean after you do your business. So you should always wash your hands (even if you don't have a study in your bathroom) but should you use hot or cold water? I say choose cold because then you can avoid using the natural gas or electricity that's used to heat the hot water. I know, I know, some people say that cold water doesn't kill germs, but some people also say that the world is going to end in 2012 and we all know that's not true (Global Warming will roast the entire planet next summer).

But what do you do if there's those automatic hands-free sinks? You can only get mildly warm water out of those and you don't get to choose the temperature. So Green Tip #104 is this: Don't Use Automatic Sinks. If you need to, carry around a bag of room temperature water in your pocket. The pocket of your cashmere robe, of course...

Green Tip #102: Trough

I have to admit, I'm a little bit ashamed that I never mentioned this before. I mean, come on... what's the one subject I talk about more than anything else? The bathroom, of course. I've had countless (by countless I mean I don't feel like counting, not I'm unable to count) Green Tips focused on how to reduce the amount of water you use in the washroom. But how has the topic of troughs never come up in any of my posts??? It's the ultimate water saving technique!

For those of you not aware of the monstrosities that are known as troughs (I've known women that thought we were joking when my friends and I were discussing them), they are these big metal or ceramic buckets that run the length of men's bathrooms, usually in sports arenas. There's a drain at one end, so everything flows to one side without using water.

Basically, these are around because they're easier to manage and handle lots of guys. It also means that there's no privacy and they're super awkward to use. But... Ugh... I have to endorse using them because they save water... *sigh* Sometimes you've got to make sacrifices to save the planet.

I also propose that someone make a female trough. Not just to save water, but also to bring the genders closer together. Because I think that women everywhere will have much more empathy for their male companions when they know what men have been going through for all these years.

You're welcome, world.