Mmmmmm.... Don't you just love the smell of banana bread muffins baking in the oven? I can't even begin to describe how much I love the taste of the warm, luscious banana-y goodness topped with cinnamon and brown sugar. Well, I could begin to describe it, but I wouldn't be able to complete the description because it's very difficult to describe tastes and smells and then you'd be left with half a description of banana bread muffins and I just hate to leave you hanging like that. So I'll just let you make some yourself and you won't need me to describe it for you.
Hm? What's that? You're wondering where this is going and how it relates to Green Tip #98? Well I'll tell you! (Of course I will, I'd be a jerk to just say "Make banana bread" and assume that you can figure out what the environmental message behind it all is).
So, bananas are weird. Not the fact that they're shaped so unnaturally or the fact that bananas don't really have seeds which is weird for fruits. No, I mean they're all backwards in terms of when you can and can't use them. Let me give you an example. Let's say I wanted to make apple pie. Mmmmmm.... apple pie. I can't even begin to describe- Okay, sorry, I'm getting lost in my own head again. You can't go wrong with apple pie, right? Especially if you use perfectly ripe apples. Freshly picked, right off the apple tree. Sounds delicious, right?
Now let's think about banana bread. You go to the store to get bananas and you pick up the perfect bunch of bananas: nice and firm, mostly yellow with just a tiny hint of green and no spots or bruises at all. You take them home and... wait a week until they get gross and black and squishy because you can't very well make banana bread from firm yellow bananas. What gives? How come bananas are still useful after they've gone bad but other fruits you have to throw away.
Strawberries and blueberries start getting moldy, potatoes grow those nasty root things, lettuce withers and turns black, grapes get all squishy and sour and you have to throw them all away, adding more volume to the landfills (or kitchen walls). In fact, I can't think of another food other than bananas that are still useful for eating after they go bad.
So Green Tip #98 has two parts (depending on your level of tolerance of mold). First, you could only eat bananas (when they're ripe) and banana bread (when they're 'mature'). This will save a lot of produce from being thrown away. Alternatively, you can find recipes for [whatever moldy food you have] bread that can make use of your rotten food. (Don't worry, the mold spores will die in the intense heat of the oven. Maybe...)
So, if you've still got an appetite after that, march on out to your kitchen and fish that moldy bag of lettuce out of your garbage, because you're having lettuce bread for breakfast tomorrow!!
Showing posts with label food waste. Show all posts
Showing posts with label food waste. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
Green Tip #94: Disney World, Part 2!
Hello again! Happy Friday! Nope, the post-Disney enthusiasm is still hanging around! But that means I get to share with you another Disney-themed Green Tip! Without further ado!!! (shoot, even my ellipses are turning from three periods to three exclamation points)
One of the things that you'll notice about Disney World is that they maintain everything extremely meticulously. From the landscaping which seems so well groomed that you have to imagine someone getting there at 2 AM every morning just to cut each blade of grass with a nail clipper to the signs and attractions which are bright and shining every day. I've even heard that the brass on the carousel at the Magic Kingdom is hand polished every night after the park closes! That's dedication!
And Disney parks also have a surprising small amount of litter on the ground as well. Surprisingly little as in none at all. This is naturally very good for the environment that this garbage isn't being put into waterways for manatees to choke on, but how do they do it? Sure you do see a few janitorial cast members walking around, but not as many as you'd think would be necessary to keep parks that size clean. I've got a few theories.
Trained Birds
I have heard of studies being conducted to train crows to pick up trash and when they drop it off in a special garbage can, they are rewarded with some crow food. And this does sound like something that Disney would do...
Robot Birds
Think trained birds except replace 'trained' with 'programmed.'
Subliminal Messaging
It's entirely possible that Disney emits frequencies that are too high for the human ear to hear yet make the person be unable to throw trash on to the ground without suffering horrible, horrible guilt that can only be assuaged from buying souvenirs from one of the gift stores.
Time Manipulation
While this may be mere speculation, what if Disney cast members are able to stop time temporarily and during that time they walk around the park and clean up all of the trash? That way they'd only need to have one or two people to clean the entire place. The few people you see walking around with brooms and dustpans would be for show, of course. They don't want people catching on to their time manipulation technology.
Anyway, those are just my theories. The world may never know how they keep their parks so clean. Don't forget to check in tomorrow to see the results from the next tournament match up!!
One of the things that you'll notice about Disney World is that they maintain everything extremely meticulously. From the landscaping which seems so well groomed that you have to imagine someone getting there at 2 AM every morning just to cut each blade of grass with a nail clipper to the signs and attractions which are bright and shining every day. I've even heard that the brass on the carousel at the Magic Kingdom is hand polished every night after the park closes! That's dedication!
And Disney parks also have a surprising small amount of litter on the ground as well. Surprisingly little as in none at all. This is naturally very good for the environment that this garbage isn't being put into waterways for manatees to choke on, but how do they do it? Sure you do see a few janitorial cast members walking around, but not as many as you'd think would be necessary to keep parks that size clean. I've got a few theories.
Trained Birds
I have heard of studies being conducted to train crows to pick up trash and when they drop it off in a special garbage can, they are rewarded with some crow food. And this does sound like something that Disney would do...
Robot Birds
Think trained birds except replace 'trained' with 'programmed.'
Subliminal Messaging
It's entirely possible that Disney emits frequencies that are too high for the human ear to hear yet make the person be unable to throw trash on to the ground without suffering horrible, horrible guilt that can only be assuaged from buying souvenirs from one of the gift stores.
Time Manipulation
While this may be mere speculation, what if Disney cast members are able to stop time temporarily and during that time they walk around the park and clean up all of the trash? That way they'd only need to have one or two people to clean the entire place. The few people you see walking around with brooms and dustpans would be for show, of course. They don't want people catching on to their time manipulation technology.
Anyway, those are just my theories. The world may never know how they keep their parks so clean. Don't forget to check in tomorrow to see the results from the next tournament match up!!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Green Tip #33: Down With Prunes!
This seems to be happening a lot recently. I’m sitting around in my living room, watching TV, and I see a commercial for some product or company and I can’t pay attention to the message that they’re trying to get across because either 1) their product has some green feature that they’re not highlighting in the commercial, but I tend to notice or 2) their product is so Brown that it just makes me cringe and want to write a blog about it.
As you can imagine, since I already wrote about the first point (Green Tip #29) this Green Tip will be focusing on some company or product that is just soooo bad that I couldn’t even get the point of the commercial.
And that product is prunes.
Yes, the unassuming prune will be the death of us all. And the reason for this is that I saw a commercial for prunes where they were interviewing a couple of people about how they like the individually wrapped prunes. Oh, everyone loved them, of course! They showed a bunch of happy, carefully selected to be racially and age-ly diverse people smiling and enjoying their prunes as if somehow this magical anti-oxidant rich fruit can make them forget that we’re in the middle of a recession and that dear old Dad just lost his job from the GM plant that he’d worked at for 35 years and now he can’t retire and take that trip to Europe that he’d been planning for his whole life. And now he’s talking about how he and Mom are talking about selling the house and moving in with you just to make ends meet. Oh, and by the way, Mom’s vision is going so she can’t drive anymore so you’re going to have to take her to her bingo game every week. Oh yeah, and don’t forget that your son is acting up in school and you’re starting to suspect he’s got a learning disorder so you’ll have to take him to a specialist that charges $150 an hour just to tell you that your son is stupid.
But no, life’s just fine because you’re eating a prune!
What they don’t show is what they’re doing with the individual wrappers that are on each prune. Well I’ll tell you what’s happening to them. They’re going into landfills and falling into waterways and ending up in giant Pacific garbage patches. And I think it’s been pretty well established that giant Pacific garbage patches are a sign of the coming apocalypse, so maybe prunes aren’t all that great.
Anyway, I’m not saying that prunes are the end of society as we know it, so you’re more than welcome to have them. As the world crashes down around us and the flood waters are coming, feel free to gorge yourself on prunes until you fall into an anti-oxidant induced stupor. Just like Nero playing the fiddle while Rome burned, you can sit back and watch while the icecaps melt and droughts choke the life from the world. You won’t care; you’ll have your AMAZING prunes. Individually wrapped prunes! So convenient for you to take into your bomb shelter to avoid the end of the world!
As you can imagine, since I already wrote about the first point (Green Tip #29) this Green Tip will be focusing on some company or product that is just soooo bad that I couldn’t even get the point of the commercial.
And that product is prunes.
Yes, the unassuming prune will be the death of us all. And the reason for this is that I saw a commercial for prunes where they were interviewing a couple of people about how they like the individually wrapped prunes. Oh, everyone loved them, of course! They showed a bunch of happy, carefully selected to be racially and age-ly diverse people smiling and enjoying their prunes as if somehow this magical anti-oxidant rich fruit can make them forget that we’re in the middle of a recession and that dear old Dad just lost his job from the GM plant that he’d worked at for 35 years and now he can’t retire and take that trip to Europe that he’d been planning for his whole life. And now he’s talking about how he and Mom are talking about selling the house and moving in with you just to make ends meet. Oh, and by the way, Mom’s vision is going so she can’t drive anymore so you’re going to have to take her to her bingo game every week. Oh yeah, and don’t forget that your son is acting up in school and you’re starting to suspect he’s got a learning disorder so you’ll have to take him to a specialist that charges $150 an hour just to tell you that your son is stupid.
But no, life’s just fine because you’re eating a prune!
What they don’t show is what they’re doing with the individual wrappers that are on each prune. Well I’ll tell you what’s happening to them. They’re going into landfills and falling into waterways and ending up in giant Pacific garbage patches. And I think it’s been pretty well established that giant Pacific garbage patches are a sign of the coming apocalypse, so maybe prunes aren’t all that great.
Anyway, I’m not saying that prunes are the end of society as we know it, so you’re more than welcome to have them. As the world crashes down around us and the flood waters are coming, feel free to gorge yourself on prunes until you fall into an anti-oxidant induced stupor. Just like Nero playing the fiddle while Rome burned, you can sit back and watch while the icecaps melt and droughts choke the life from the world. You won’t care; you’ll have your AMAZING prunes. Individually wrapped prunes! So convenient for you to take into your bomb shelter to avoid the end of the world!
Friday, June 5, 2009
Green Tip #6: Landfill Reduction, Part 1
Hey, everyone! How's your life going? Are you winning the war against global warming?? I know I sure am!
You might be wondering why I'm so chipper. Well, I'll tell you! I'm about to start a recurring segment, if you will. A big no-no in the green community is the concept of landfills. Although they have come a very long way since the ancient times when people threw buckets of garbage out their windows into the streets, they still aren't the ideal green solution. (I'm just assuming that people did, in fact throw buckets of garbage out their windows. Wikipedia can back me up.) So what is the green consumer to do, knowing that so much of what they purchase is ending up being buried and turned into parks and/or methane gas collecting fields?
Here's what they do: they listen to my Landfill Reduction Tips!
Landfill Reduction Tip #1 - Food waste
Many people wonder what to do with extra food they don't eat. As far as I see it, there are only three options.
1) Throw it into the garbage, where it will most likely break down in a landfill and produce methane gas, which, if the landfill is up to date, will be collected and used for commercial power.
2) Put it in the refrigerator, where it will most likely sit for a few weeks and grow mold. It will then have to be thrown away. This is similar to 1) except the refrigeration uses energy and just slows down the inevitable breaking down into methane.
3) Put it into a compost pile. Delicious garbage for worms and thus also birds. Useful for fertilizer to make crops grow stronger.
Based off these options, the choice is clear which is the greenest. None of them! Landfills are basically the devil, as evidenced by the anagram of "landfilling" - "Ill fin gland." And I don't know a single dolphin that will tell you that isn't a bad thing. So that eliminates the first two. And I don't know about you, but composting seems like a cop out. I mean really, who can't tell that composting is just a conspiracy by the pro-throwing-garbage-out-the-window lobbies in government? Composting is a huge step backwards.
But I can't just expose the problem without giving you a solution. Poke a small hole near the ceiling in one of the walls in your kitchen and start shoving your extra stuffing, popsicles, creamed corn, spoiled milk, Shrimp Tetrazzini, kosher dill pickles, red velvet cake, etc into that hole. As time goes on, that section of your kitchen wall will be stuffed full of a very green insulation. Repeat as necessary until your whole house has walls that are packed full. Just you wait and see how much your energy bill goes down!
You are probably skeptical how easy it all is, and I was too. But I did read it on Wikipedia, so I know it has to work!
You might be wondering why I'm so chipper. Well, I'll tell you! I'm about to start a recurring segment, if you will. A big no-no in the green community is the concept of landfills. Although they have come a very long way since the ancient times when people threw buckets of garbage out their windows into the streets, they still aren't the ideal green solution. (I'm just assuming that people did, in fact throw buckets of garbage out their windows. Wikipedia can back me up.) So what is the green consumer to do, knowing that so much of what they purchase is ending up being buried and turned into parks and/or methane gas collecting fields?
Here's what they do: they listen to my Landfill Reduction Tips!
Landfill Reduction Tip #1 - Food waste
Many people wonder what to do with extra food they don't eat. As far as I see it, there are only three options.
1) Throw it into the garbage, where it will most likely break down in a landfill and produce methane gas, which, if the landfill is up to date, will be collected and used for commercial power.
2) Put it in the refrigerator, where it will most likely sit for a few weeks and grow mold. It will then have to be thrown away. This is similar to 1) except the refrigeration uses energy and just slows down the inevitable breaking down into methane.
3) Put it into a compost pile. Delicious garbage for worms and thus also birds. Useful for fertilizer to make crops grow stronger.
Based off these options, the choice is clear which is the greenest. None of them! Landfills are basically the devil, as evidenced by the anagram of "landfilling" - "Ill fin gland." And I don't know a single dolphin that will tell you that isn't a bad thing. So that eliminates the first two. And I don't know about you, but composting seems like a cop out. I mean really, who can't tell that composting is just a conspiracy by the pro-throwing-garbage-out-the-window lobbies in government? Composting is a huge step backwards.
But I can't just expose the problem without giving you a solution. Poke a small hole near the ceiling in one of the walls in your kitchen and start shoving your extra stuffing, popsicles, creamed corn, spoiled milk, Shrimp Tetrazzini, kosher dill pickles, red velvet cake, etc into that hole. As time goes on, that section of your kitchen wall will be stuffed full of a very green insulation. Repeat as necessary until your whole house has walls that are packed full. Just you wait and see how much your energy bill goes down!
You are probably skeptical how easy it all is, and I was too. But I did read it on Wikipedia, so I know it has to work!
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