Let's talk about viruses. Ah yes, the unassuming little things that have killed more people than all the serial killers in the world combined. With all of the talk about H1N1 and HIV and SARS and Keanu Reeves' acting career, I figure I should address how these very simple organisms are able to infect perfectly good hosts (or movies) and reek havoc causing mayhem and destruction.
So a virus is basically a little sac of DNA that latches onto a perfectly healthy cell and injects this DNA into the host. The host cell then dies and new viruses rupture out of the cell's corpse like the monster from 'Alien' popped out of the guy's chest. Then the new viruses go on to infect other cells. This cycle repeats itself until the host organism's defenses are able to fight back. (No, lining up colored pills on the viruses is not one of the body's defenses. 10 points to anyone who gets that reference.) One of the ways that the host fights back is by raising its body temperature, thus giving it a fever. This increased body temperature makes a hostile environment for the viruses and helps to speed up the virus's demise. Usually the body is able to fight off the virus, other times the host doesn't survive and the virus is trapped in the dead host and eventually is starved for living cells and dies out itself. Ha, stupid virus, it loses either way!
But wait... If you think back to the movie 'The Matrix,' (I've mentioned it before in Green Tip #2 when referring to how robots will take over the world) you'll remember how Agent Smith compares humans to a virus. We've essentially broken past the limits that nature naturally (isn't everything in nature natural?) sets for species that makes populations decline when resources are scarce. We kept expanding beyond our resources and now have no natural predators.
Go us, right? No, not quite... If you think of planet earth as an organism, it would be safe to say that Global Warming is her getting a fever trying to kill us off. Yup, the human race is now officially those drunk people that don't realize they're being completely inappropriate at weddings and won't take a hint that they should leave. We're unwanted...
But it doesn't have to end this way. What if we were to mutate (so to speak) into a harmless strain? Even better yet, what if we took a cue from the adeno-associated virus type 2? This virus infects humans and other primates and causes no known disease. Better yet, some studies have shown that this virus can actually help to fight some forms of cancer.
So Green Tip #46 is this: let's use Global Warming as a challenge for us to be better viruses. Think about what actions to you take and whether you're acting like HIV or more like AAV2. Let's hope for all of our sakes that you choose AAV2.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Green Tip #45: You Can't Take It With You
Every so often, the Green Tips posted in the Impractical Green Resource will bring up serious questions about what the best course of action will be in a situation. For example, what is the environmentally conscious person supposed to do when it comes to dining out? Green Tip #45 will address that issue using some of the previous Green Tips to back it up.
First off, let me say this. Why are you even thinking about eating out in the first place? Are you not listening to me? Just one week ago, in Green Tip #43, I suggested to everyone that they stay locked away in their homes until spring comes around like a bear trapped in her cave or a celebrity under house arrest.
Okay, I can accept that you might live in a warmer climate and that Green Tip might not apply. If that's the case, what are you going to do when you end up going out to eat and have leftovers? I mean, I just cringe whenever I see those Styrofoam take out boxes littering the side of the streets.
The very observant (and obsessive) reader will know that the two main options can both by covered by previous Green Tips. Option 1 is to follow what Green Tip #4 implicitly states. Sure, go ahead and scarf down the rest of that chicken cacciatore. While I never expressly endorsed being fat as a way to save energy, I did have the opportunity to denounce being fat and I didn't take it. That can be read as saying it's okay to be overweight. And think about how much you can save on your heating bill if you've got a thick layer of blubber.
The other option is to take it home with you. I know, I know, Styrofoam has been called Satan's excrement because of how bad it is for the environment, but Green Tip #20 has some very good suggestions on what to do with the Styrofoam boxes once you get home. Walking on water = pretty darn cool. Just make sure you wash out the boxes before you use them so you aren't stepping in clam sauce.
So which way is better? The quick answer: neither. If you go back and read Green Tip #6 you will see that there is a third and better option. Simply ask the waiter or waitress which wall is an external wall, and begin stuffing your leftovers in for insulation! Just remember to put the hole higher up on the wall, otherwise you'll have food leaking all over the restaurant. Just don't forget what Green Tip #54 has to say about those extra drinks, otherwise you'll run into more problems than just weird looks!
What? The link doesn't work? Okay, don't worry about it. It'll work someday.
First off, let me say this. Why are you even thinking about eating out in the first place? Are you not listening to me? Just one week ago, in Green Tip #43, I suggested to everyone that they stay locked away in their homes until spring comes around like a bear trapped in her cave or a celebrity under house arrest.
Okay, I can accept that you might live in a warmer climate and that Green Tip might not apply. If that's the case, what are you going to do when you end up going out to eat and have leftovers? I mean, I just cringe whenever I see those Styrofoam take out boxes littering the side of the streets.
The very observant (and obsessive) reader will know that the two main options can both by covered by previous Green Tips. Option 1 is to follow what Green Tip #4 implicitly states. Sure, go ahead and scarf down the rest of that chicken cacciatore. While I never expressly endorsed being fat as a way to save energy, I did have the opportunity to denounce being fat and I didn't take it. That can be read as saying it's okay to be overweight. And think about how much you can save on your heating bill if you've got a thick layer of blubber.
The other option is to take it home with you. I know, I know, Styrofoam has been called Satan's excrement because of how bad it is for the environment, but Green Tip #20 has some very good suggestions on what to do with the Styrofoam boxes once you get home. Walking on water = pretty darn cool. Just make sure you wash out the boxes before you use them so you aren't stepping in clam sauce.
So which way is better? The quick answer: neither. If you go back and read Green Tip #6 you will see that there is a third and better option. Simply ask the waiter or waitress which wall is an external wall, and begin stuffing your leftovers in for insulation! Just remember to put the hole higher up on the wall, otherwise you'll have food leaking all over the restaurant. Just don't forget what Green Tip #54 has to say about those extra drinks, otherwise you'll run into more problems than just weird looks!
What? The link doesn't work? Okay, don't worry about it. It'll work someday.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Green Tip #44: WRAWWN Part 1, Plastic
Let me clear something up right away. WRAWWN, while it does sound like a sound a baby dinosaur might make, is in fact an acronym. Without further ado, here's the first part of a brand new feature that I'll be doing from time to time.
What Resource Are We Wasting Now? Part 1, Plastic
Let me just differentiate this and the Landfill Reductions that I've done. WRAWWN is all about how not to use some basic material or water or energy or something like that. The Landfill Reductions talk about what to do with something once it's been used.
Enough chitchat, let's save the planet!
Straws?? Really?? I mean COME ON! Think of all the plastic that we're wasting! Here's the situation that must have come up the first time a fast food restaurant put a straw in their drinks. Some hugely overweight man probably complained to the restaurant that he was just too darn tired to pick up his drink. And thus the straw was born. I mean, seriously? How lazy are we that we can't even pick up our drinks? Although, with the size of drinks these days, we would probably be building some muscles by lifting the cups.
Another waste of plastic is how much they use to wrap up small electronics. Next time you're at a store that sells USB drives, check out how much plastic is on them. There's probably ten times as much plastic wrapping as there is USB drive. Do we REALLY need to have it secured by enough plastic that we can put carpeting down and charge rent for people to stay in it?? Not to mention that it's impossible to get off, but that only hurts the environment if I take out my frustration by drop kicking squirrels.
And finally, retail stores need to lighten up a bit. I don't know if you're like me or not, but I always forget to bring my canvas bags to the store and I end up having to use plastic bags (ugh). Well, I tried to be smart and wore a trench coat with deep pockets so I could use that instead of bags. I was just trying to save Toys 'R Us some bags, and the next thing I know I'm not allowed to shop there any more. Something about shoplifting or being creepy or something like that. Why can't I wear a trench coat whenever I want to?? It's a free country!!
So yeah, plastic.
What Resource Are We Wasting Now? Part 1, Plastic
Let me just differentiate this and the Landfill Reductions that I've done. WRAWWN is all about how not to use some basic material or water or energy or something like that. The Landfill Reductions talk about what to do with something once it's been used.
Enough chitchat, let's save the planet!
Straws?? Really?? I mean COME ON! Think of all the plastic that we're wasting! Here's the situation that must have come up the first time a fast food restaurant put a straw in their drinks. Some hugely overweight man probably complained to the restaurant that he was just too darn tired to pick up his drink. And thus the straw was born. I mean, seriously? How lazy are we that we can't even pick up our drinks? Although, with the size of drinks these days, we would probably be building some muscles by lifting the cups.
Another waste of plastic is how much they use to wrap up small electronics. Next time you're at a store that sells USB drives, check out how much plastic is on them. There's probably ten times as much plastic wrapping as there is USB drive. Do we REALLY need to have it secured by enough plastic that we can put carpeting down and charge rent for people to stay in it?? Not to mention that it's impossible to get off, but that only hurts the environment if I take out my frustration by drop kicking squirrels.
And finally, retail stores need to lighten up a bit. I don't know if you're like me or not, but I always forget to bring my canvas bags to the store and I end up having to use plastic bags (ugh). Well, I tried to be smart and wore a trench coat with deep pockets so I could use that instead of bags. I was just trying to save Toys 'R Us some bags, and the next thing I know I'm not allowed to shop there any more. Something about shoplifting or being creepy or something like that. Why can't I wear a trench coat whenever I want to?? It's a free country!!
So yeah, plastic.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Green Tip #43: WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME!!!
Okay, don't panic.... but you only have a very very small window to get this Green Tip done. Right now (well, in a minute after you read this) go to the store and get the following things:
Spray-on foam
Canned food
Plant lights
Flower pots
Soil
Seeds
Here's why you need all this stuff. There's a very good chance that there's no more warm days left this year. I can't speak for the rest of the country, but here in Toledo, it's been in the 50's and 60's, even getting as high as 67 on Saturday. That's unseasonably warm in an area where the first snowfall can come as early as October.
In the next few days, the weather will probably start getting much colder, so you need to act on this right now. First, open all the windows and bring in all that unseasonable weather. Then, completely seal up all of your windows, doors, and any other cracks with the spray on foam. This will create a nice tight lining on your home or apartment that will keep that warm air in. Yes, it's true, you won't be able to leave your apartment or house until probably April or May, but that's what the other things are for.
You're going to want to grow various things that you can eat, such as tomatoes, carrots, peas, hamburgers (if you find hamburger seeds, save some for me, I can't find them anywhere). You'll have to live off of canned food until the plants are ready, though, so I hope you like canned beets. It's a small price to pay for really low heating bills during the winter.
Added bonus: I like to throw in some added benefits of these Green Tips to make them even more enticing for you to put into practice in your life. The bonus to this one is that when the world ends on December 21, 2012, you'll have 3 years of bomb shelter making experience under your belt. You'll be way ahead of the game!
Spray-on foam
Canned food
Plant lights
Flower pots
Soil
Seeds
Here's why you need all this stuff. There's a very good chance that there's no more warm days left this year. I can't speak for the rest of the country, but here in Toledo, it's been in the 50's and 60's, even getting as high as 67 on Saturday. That's unseasonably warm in an area where the first snowfall can come as early as October.
In the next few days, the weather will probably start getting much colder, so you need to act on this right now. First, open all the windows and bring in all that unseasonable weather. Then, completely seal up all of your windows, doors, and any other cracks with the spray on foam. This will create a nice tight lining on your home or apartment that will keep that warm air in. Yes, it's true, you won't be able to leave your apartment or house until probably April or May, but that's what the other things are for.
You're going to want to grow various things that you can eat, such as tomatoes, carrots, peas, hamburgers (if you find hamburger seeds, save some for me, I can't find them anywhere). You'll have to live off of canned food until the plants are ready, though, so I hope you like canned beets. It's a small price to pay for really low heating bills during the winter.
Added bonus: I like to throw in some added benefits of these Green Tips to make them even more enticing for you to put into practice in your life. The bonus to this one is that when the world ends on December 21, 2012, you'll have 3 years of bomb shelter making experience under your belt. You'll be way ahead of the game!
Friday, November 6, 2009
Green Tip #42: Short Hair
Okay, you're about to read something that's never been done before. I am going to use math to prove why one fashion style is the best one. After you read this, you'd better make an appointment at your barber shop, because everyone's going to be rushing out to follow this hot new trend.
As you can tell from the title, I'm about to show you the benefits of having short hair. It's about to get all mathematical in the here, so hold on to your logarithms.
Okay, so my first assumption is that there is a linear relationship between the length of the person's hair and the amount of shampoo that they use. Now, there are several factors that interact with this (gender, age, socio-economic status, etc.) but within each demographic subgroup of the population, I feel confident making this assumption. Also, it may stop being linear beyond certain extremes, such as when a person has really really short hair or really really long hair. In the tail ends of the hair length distribution, the relationship may be more exponential or perhaps logarithmic.
That being said, I can further conclude that a person with half the hair length will use half the volume of shampoo. Again, there are complicating factors to this, such as a person with short hair will wash their hair less often, and therefore use less than half of the volume of shampoo, but we'll ignore that for this calculation. If anything, this assumption will only make my conclusions less conclusive, so if I can prove the environmental benefits with this assumption in place, I can say that the conclusions will hold even more so when this assumption is removed.
Now let's gather some figures. According to a case study done by the Boston Consulting Group, the average US household uses 19.5 bottles of shampoo per year. That's 19.5 20 oz. bottles, or 390 oz. per household. And, according to the 2007 US Census Bureau report, there are approximately 111,162,259 households. That means the US uses 43,353,281,010 oz. of shampoo per year. That comes out to 338,697,508 gallons of shampoo per year. And according to an article on Newsweek, up to 80 % of shampoo is water. That means the US shampoo industry uses about 270,958,000 gallons of water per year. That's roughly the amount of water that one person uses in 9279 years.
What if we were able to cut that in half? Think of all the water we'd save! How do we do that, you might ask? Well, Green Tip #42 is this: Cut Your Hair Length in Half. Yes, I know this means short hair will be popular among women because of this, but I should put the needs of the environment before my personal preferences.
Also, I didn't factor in the amount of conditioner or anything like that. Also, we'll save electricity by cutting down on hair dryer use. But that's just icing on the cake when it comes to how much water will be saved.
Now, there are two notable exceptions to this rule. Bald people, there's nothing you can really do to help the cause here. Kudos on being ahead of the game though. Just make sure you keep that head wax use to a minimum. And hippies, I understand you like your long hair. But odds are you either have dreadlocks (Nasty, but Saves Water!) or you just simply don't shower. Either way, you can ignore the above Green Tip. I think you've done enough for the environment.
As you can tell from the title, I'm about to show you the benefits of having short hair. It's about to get all mathematical in the here, so hold on to your logarithms.
Okay, so my first assumption is that there is a linear relationship between the length of the person's hair and the amount of shampoo that they use. Now, there are several factors that interact with this (gender, age, socio-economic status, etc.) but within each demographic subgroup of the population, I feel confident making this assumption. Also, it may stop being linear beyond certain extremes, such as when a person has really really short hair or really really long hair. In the tail ends of the hair length distribution, the relationship may be more exponential or perhaps logarithmic.
That being said, I can further conclude that a person with half the hair length will use half the volume of shampoo. Again, there are complicating factors to this, such as a person with short hair will wash their hair less often, and therefore use less than half of the volume of shampoo, but we'll ignore that for this calculation. If anything, this assumption will only make my conclusions less conclusive, so if I can prove the environmental benefits with this assumption in place, I can say that the conclusions will hold even more so when this assumption is removed.
Now let's gather some figures. According to a case study done by the Boston Consulting Group, the average US household uses 19.5 bottles of shampoo per year. That's 19.5 20 oz. bottles, or 390 oz. per household. And, according to the 2007 US Census Bureau report, there are approximately 111,162,259 households. That means the US uses 43,353,281,010 oz. of shampoo per year. That comes out to 338,697,508 gallons of shampoo per year. And according to an article on Newsweek, up to 80 % of shampoo is water. That means the US shampoo industry uses about 270,958,000 gallons of water per year. That's roughly the amount of water that one person uses in 9279 years.
What if we were able to cut that in half? Think of all the water we'd save! How do we do that, you might ask? Well, Green Tip #42 is this: Cut Your Hair Length in Half. Yes, I know this means short hair will be popular among women because of this, but I should put the needs of the environment before my personal preferences.
Also, I didn't factor in the amount of conditioner or anything like that. Also, we'll save electricity by cutting down on hair dryer use. But that's just icing on the cake when it comes to how much water will be saved.
Now, there are two notable exceptions to this rule. Bald people, there's nothing you can really do to help the cause here. Kudos on being ahead of the game though. Just make sure you keep that head wax use to a minimum. And hippies, I understand you like your long hair. But odds are you either have dreadlocks (Nasty, but Saves Water!) or you just simply don't shower. Either way, you can ignore the above Green Tip. I think you've done enough for the environment.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Green Tip #41: 5 Reasons Facebook is Good For the Environment
Ah, yes... Good ol' Facebook. Never before have I seen a website that has gained so much negative press and yet has become an integral part almost everyone's lives that have signed up for it. And although Facebook might have attracted negative attention for needlessly changing layouts and stealing private information and causing lower grades among college students, I'd like to talk about 5 reasons why Facebook is ultimately good for the environment. I know, it might seem like a shameless way to promote the all new Impractical Green Resource Facebook Page and the reason for that is it is a shameless promotion for it. No seriously, check it out. Search for Impractical Green Resource on Facebook. After you're done reading this Green Tip, of course...
Anyway...
5 Reasons Why Facebook is Good For the Environment:
1) It Saves Transportation Costs
Think back to a time pre-2004 (when Facebook launched). Ah yes, I remember it like it was just yesterday. So let's say you hadn't seen a friend in a while. What's the first thing that you'd want to do? Well, back then, you'd call them up or send them an IM (not a text) and ask if they'd want to get together and get coffee or play a game or something. Fast forward 5ish years to today and now, instead of driving your car to their place or the coffee shop, all you have to do is hop on your computer (not literally) and invite them to play a game of Bowling Buddies or Lexulous. Saves both of you gas and you can still get that fix for social interaction that all of need from time to time.
2) It Saves Paper
Actually, this one is sort of funny, because I literally just did this which gave me the idea for this point. One of my friends has a birthday today (Happy Birthday Kristyn!) and instead of wasting a perfectly good tree to get her a card, I just posted a message on her wall. There's no way I can be considered cheap or inconsiderate for not getting her a card; I wrote on her wall, after all! Similarly, if you're really cheap, you can get them a Facebook gift, which uses no natural resources at all! Yay for celebrating Green birthdays!
3) It Reduces Propellant Use
Now, I am aware that aerosol spray cans phased out CFC's around 20 years ago, so there should be no worries about spray paint adding to the hole in the ozone layer (what ever happened to that, by the way? I can only assume it's gotten better or we'd still be hearing about that). But I also know that spray paint uses chemicals which really shouldn't be ending up in runoff into our streams and lakes. Well, now that Facebook is around, those of you with uncontrollable urges to graffiti things now have an environmentally (and criminally) safe way to vent your desires. You can write on people's walls! Think about what that literally means. Write. On. Their. Walls. Now, if I went to my friend's apartment and started writing on their walls with spray paint, they'd be pretty darn mad at me. And probably un-friend me on Facebook.
4) It Teaches Us About Caring For the Environment
Farmville. I can't say I use it, but I do know it's popular to a lot of people. Great job, Facebook! If the people that are addicted to Farmville are as addicted as I gather they are, it's only a matter of time until they start planting trees and vegetables in their own yards, thinking that they're still playing the game. More trees = less CO2 in the atmosphere, and that's really what we're going for with the Green Movement. And finally...
5) It Saves Ink
Ah, yes... (I already said that...) One of the things that Facebook is especially known for is the embarrassing pictures of drunken parties that end up being posted there. Now, pre-Facebook, if your friend, co-worker, significant other, brother, sister, mother, grandmother (heaven forbid...) gets drunk and starts making a fool of themselves, you'd take pictures and then have to go get the film developed or the digital photos printed at a store somewhere. Because, you have to show everyone else you know, right? That means multiple copies so everyone can have one. Ugh, that wastes so much paper and printer ink. Isn't is so much more environmentally friendly just to post them on Facebook so everyone else can easily see them? Remember to think of how many trees and... ink... bushes? you'll be saving next time you're uploading pictures of your friend passed out in his or her bathroom.
Well, there you have it. Facebook is pretty darn good for the environment. Who knew? With your new-found appreciation for the site, I'd suggest you go check it out. I'd start by searching for Impractical Green Resource. Become a fan, of course!
Anyway...
5 Reasons Why Facebook is Good For the Environment:
1) It Saves Transportation Costs
Think back to a time pre-2004 (when Facebook launched). Ah yes, I remember it like it was just yesterday. So let's say you hadn't seen a friend in a while. What's the first thing that you'd want to do? Well, back then, you'd call them up or send them an IM (not a text) and ask if they'd want to get together and get coffee or play a game or something. Fast forward 5ish years to today and now, instead of driving your car to their place or the coffee shop, all you have to do is hop on your computer (not literally) and invite them to play a game of Bowling Buddies or Lexulous. Saves both of you gas and you can still get that fix for social interaction that all of need from time to time.
2) It Saves Paper
Actually, this one is sort of funny, because I literally just did this which gave me the idea for this point. One of my friends has a birthday today (Happy Birthday Kristyn!) and instead of wasting a perfectly good tree to get her a card, I just posted a message on her wall. There's no way I can be considered cheap or inconsiderate for not getting her a card; I wrote on her wall, after all! Similarly, if you're really cheap, you can get them a Facebook gift, which uses no natural resources at all! Yay for celebrating Green birthdays!
3) It Reduces Propellant Use
Now, I am aware that aerosol spray cans phased out CFC's around 20 years ago, so there should be no worries about spray paint adding to the hole in the ozone layer (what ever happened to that, by the way? I can only assume it's gotten better or we'd still be hearing about that). But I also know that spray paint uses chemicals which really shouldn't be ending up in runoff into our streams and lakes. Well, now that Facebook is around, those of you with uncontrollable urges to graffiti things now have an environmentally (and criminally) safe way to vent your desires. You can write on people's walls! Think about what that literally means. Write. On. Their. Walls. Now, if I went to my friend's apartment and started writing on their walls with spray paint, they'd be pretty darn mad at me. And probably un-friend me on Facebook.
4) It Teaches Us About Caring For the Environment
Farmville. I can't say I use it, but I do know it's popular to a lot of people. Great job, Facebook! If the people that are addicted to Farmville are as addicted as I gather they are, it's only a matter of time until they start planting trees and vegetables in their own yards, thinking that they're still playing the game. More trees = less CO2 in the atmosphere, and that's really what we're going for with the Green Movement. And finally...
5) It Saves Ink
Ah, yes... (I already said that...) One of the things that Facebook is especially known for is the embarrassing pictures of drunken parties that end up being posted there. Now, pre-Facebook, if your friend, co-worker, significant other, brother, sister, mother, grandmother (heaven forbid...) gets drunk and starts making a fool of themselves, you'd take pictures and then have to go get the film developed or the digital photos printed at a store somewhere. Because, you have to show everyone else you know, right? That means multiple copies so everyone can have one. Ugh, that wastes so much paper and printer ink. Isn't is so much more environmentally friendly just to post them on Facebook so everyone else can easily see them? Remember to think of how many trees and... ink... bushes? you'll be saving next time you're uploading pictures of your friend passed out in his or her bathroom.
Well, there you have it. Facebook is pretty darn good for the environment. Who knew? With your new-found appreciation for the site, I'd suggest you go check it out. I'd start by searching for Impractical Green Resource. Become a fan, of course!
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