Green Tip #102: Trough

I have to admit, I'm a little bit ashamed that I never mentioned this before. I mean, come on... what's the one subject I talk about more than anything else? The bathroom, of course. I've had countless (by countless I mean I don't feel like counting, not I'm unable to count) Green Tips focused on how to reduce the amount of water you use in the washroom. But how has the topic of troughs never come up in any of my posts??? It's the ultimate water saving technique!

For those of you not aware of the monstrosities that are known as troughs (I've known women that thought we were joking when my friends and I were discussing them), they are these big metal or ceramic buckets that run the length of men's bathrooms, usually in sports arenas. There's a drain at one end, so everything flows to one side without using water.

Basically, these are around because they're easier to manage and handle lots of guys. It also means that there's no privacy and they're super awkward to use. But... Ugh... I have to endorse using them because they save water... *sigh* Sometimes you've got to make sacrifices to save the planet.

I also propose that someone make a female trough. Not just to save water, but also to bring the genders closer together. Because I think that women everywhere will have much more empathy for their male companions when they know what men have been going through for all these years.

You're welcome, world.

Green Tip #101: Let it Rain

Alright! The moment you've been waiting months for! After all this time, the final results of the Tournament are here! I know that you've all been reading intently over these past few weeks as I posted daily matchups, some of which went on for over 10 pages. I'm amazed that you would stick it out so faithfully and now you're here to find out the final results.

But before I reveal the big winner, I want to remember some of the best matches. Remember last Tuesday when-

Hey, wait... What's that orange button that says "Publish Post" at the bottom of my page supposed to mean? Oh.... wait, I think that I've been writing hundreds of pages of Tournament matches and not publishing any of them... Sorry about that...

Haha, no, I'm just kidding. I haven't been writing any posts because my heart has not been in it. Let's face it, the Tournament was probably a bad idea. It wasn't as funny and witty as the Green Tips that you've come to expect. So I'm starting over. I'm going to be less structured, more entertaining. I don't think I'm going to get on a fixed schedule yet, but we'll see once I get back on track.

Green Tip #101. I almost thought you'd never come. I actually thought of you before I even posted Green Tip #100, but I never got a chance to bring you to life.

A lot of hippies will tell you to not use your shower and instead take soap and shampoo (not much if your hair is short) outside when it rains and this can be used to cut down on your water consumption. I would also recommend that you do this, but not because it will save water.

No, I want you to shower in the rain so every time you try to clean yourself and you feel that distinct burning feeling all over your skin, you will remember how painful acid rain is and how bad it is for the environment. Every burning rash that develops will serve as a reminder to write your politician and tell them to do something about acid rain. And if you are a politician, remember that you can try this new showering practice, just remember not to strip naked in public places. After all, that's over 75% of political scandals start...

Sorry, still having internet problems...

Tournament Round 3, Match 2 - (1) Bikes vs. (3) Hybrid Vehicles

Again, sorry for the delay. Hopefully things will get back on track now, at least until the end of the tournament.

Bikes

Positive News Stories (20 out of 30)
Hm! I'm really surprised at what I found when I started searching for 'bike' in the news search. There are actually some pretty interesting things going on with bikes. While many of these news stories are really nothing groundbreaking, the fact that they continue to make headlines shows that there is continued interest in biking, at least in the US.

I read stories about bike taxi companies, stories about teaching kids with developmental disabilities how to ride bikes, stories about bike cops, and stories about bike summits. All in all, I'd say people are pretty interested in biking still and I don't see this as a trend that will be ending any time soon.

Negative News Stories (-3 out of -30)
I really can't say much bad about biking. I searched and I searched, but the worst stories I could find were about people stealing bikes. I did, however read an article about the same biking summit that I mentioned in the previous paragraph, except this story was told from a negative point of view. Check it out here. It's pretty interesting to see the other side of the same story. Regardless, I couldn't find too many people that were all that upset with bikes or any negative environmental consequences of the increased use of bikes in this country.

User Comments (4 out of 20)
Bikes. Word. In that I mean that 'Bikes' is a single word.

Tomorrow we'll continue to explore the world of Hybrid Vehicles. Can another #1 seed be knocked out by an underdog?? We shall see...

Sorry I lied again... I can't post again until Tuesday. I'm borrowing the Internet for the weekend, so no regular updates until things get sorted out.

Sorry again...

Tournament Round 3, Match 1A - (1) Recycling vs. (6) Wildlife Conservation

Well, well, well... Look who came crawling back. I knew this day was going to come where you'd realize what you've done and try to make things right. Well you can give up the act! There's no way I'm going to forgive you for the way you left me out to dry.

Oh, wait. That whole paragraph was actually what you were supposed to say to me. So, let's pretend that you said it and we'll move on. I think you've waited long enough for the end of this match up.

Wildlife Conservation

Positive News Stories (10 out of 30)
There are some pretty good news stories that relate to Wildlife Conservation. For example, Myanmar recently tripled the size of their tiger preserve. I know they've done some questionable things in that country, but it's good to see that they're committed to saving a species that has been on the brink of extinction for quite some time.

The reason why I didn't give this idea more points is that there really weren't a whole lot of news stories that were very notable. I think the reason for this is that people honestly don't really care about saving some bird they've never heard of before. They're interested if something like a whale conservation program is started, but that doesn't happen very often. Other than those darn Japanese, not too many people are still whaling today.

Negative News Stories (-1 out of -30)
Sorry, I can't say that I have any more stories of placentas (thankfully). Now, you'd think that I'd have a hard time finding stories that showed that Wildlife Conservation was a negative thing, but somehow I did. That's why I have a blog and you don't.

Great job, Wildlife Conservation experts... Here's the conversation that I imagine they had.
Expert 1 (Bob): "Hey, I've got a good idea. Let's STOP draining the Everglades. We need to do that to save some rare fish that only lives in the region (and 14 other places in the state)."
Expert 2 (Franccesca): "But Bob, won't some 18 year old have his hand bitten off by an alligator at some point in the future?"
Bob: "Come on, Fran, you know I don't believe in your psychic abilities. Come on, let's go feed some alligators so they become accustomed to human presence and gradually become more invasive into our cities."
Fran: "I wish someone would bite off your hand, Bob..."

That's not a direct quote, I'm just paraphrasing.

User Comments (0 out of 20)
Yup, we're still doing this. Get your comments in.

Results

Recycling: -1
Wildlife Conservation: 9

Well, the longest match up in history is now over! And Wildlife Conservation, the underdog, has pulled off the upset! I personally blame the placenta story...

I really hope that I can get back on schedule with this, and I'll do my best to not let you down. But don't hate me if I do skip a day or two... Come back Friday to see how Bikes and Hybrid Vehicles compare. And get your comments in!