Green Tip #89: Volcanology 101

By now I'm sure you've heard of the volcano that erupted in Iceland last week and disrupted air traffic all over Europe. There's been a lot of discussion about the environmental impact of this eruption but I think that there are a lot of aspects of it that are being overlooked in the news. This is what Green Tip #89 is all about. No one specific thing, but a few things that everyone needs to know about volcanoes.

First off, let me just say congratulate the media for something that they've been doing right. Go back and read Green Tip #38. The point that I made back then is the less characters you use when you're typing things, the better for the environment it will be. Less wear and tear on your keys, less electricity used to power your computer, etc. Well one of the things that I'm proud of the media for doing is never calling that Icelandic volcano by its name.

Eyjafjallajökull

Look at that thing. It's a monstrosity. It's the asian carp of words. Think of all the time and energy that is being saved by just calling it 'the volcano.' So once again, that'll do, Media. That'll do.

My second point has more of a traditional environmental message. One of the topics I hear often in the news is whether there is a net loss or gain of carbon dioxide being released into the air. Yes, less flights mean less CO2, but more people will be driving and the volcano itself released a lot of CO2. I think everyone's missing the point when they're discussing this. I think it's more important to think of hot dogs and s'mores.

Here we are, with the world's biggest camp fire and we're wasting a perfect opportunity. Start packing up all of the hot dogs and graham crackers and marshmallows and load up all the boats you can find and head over to Iceland. Think of all the wood and gasoline and other things that we can save by never having to start a campfire ever again! True, boy scouts and campers will miss out on the chance to sing camp songs, but they'll have a great opportunity to take a once in a lifetime field trip!

Anyway, happy Earth Days everyone! I don't celebrate just the one day because I think it gives people the excuse that they only have to care about the environment once a year. But I do acknowledge the good publicity the environmental movement gets and that can't be overlooked.

And don't forget to get those brackets filled out! There's a link on the right hand side of this page. The tournament begins May 19 with the match up between Recycling and Political Activism, so leave your comments about who you want to win!!!

Thanksgiving Special Green Tip #49: Green Holiday Shopping

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Let's get right into Green Tip #49 because I know you'd rather spend time with friends and loved ones.

Tomorrow Americans partake in a time honored tradition that truly embodies the spirit of the American culture: getting up really early and waiting in line in freezing temperatures to save an extra $10 on a pair of jeans. While I'm sure that you can find other blogs that will give you some tips on what to buy in order to be an environmentally responsible shopper, The Impractical Green Resource is not other blogs. No, I'd like to give some tips on how to make your Black Friday shopping experience as Green as possible.

First off, you're going to want to address the issue of waiting in line in the cold. While it might not necessarily be freezing where you live, it's a safe bet that wherever you are, it's not exactly going to be very warm in late November at 3 AM. Some people bring electric blankets, some use electric hand warmers, some have electric space heaters. I think you see where I'm going with this. We use electricity a lot for situations like this. Here's my suggestion on how to cut back on energy use. Go to the hospital, find someone with the flu, and try to catch it from him or her. If you get a fever, you'll be burning up and you won't need any electric heaters or anything.

Now, the type of disease you get doesn't matter that much. I'd suggest H1N1, just because it's so chic right now. And there's nothing more embarrassing than having last year's flu. You'd be so out of style.

Additional bonus: if you make it really obvious that you're highly contagious, you might just scare some people out of their coveted positions in line.

Another aspect of waiting in line for amazing deals is that some people (the diehards) will actually camp out days in advance. If you'd rather not waste gas by driving to some far off destination to go camping with your family, you can convince them that this is what you're doing. Just keep them in the tent the entire night and they might just believe that you actually went to North Dakota to go camping. Just say that there's a blizzard out and they can't leave the tent until the storm passes. Then when the store does open, sure they'll be mad, but they'll forget about how mad they are when you buy them a brand new Xbox.

So that about wraps it up for now. Don't forget to come back tomorrow and I'll talk about a Green alternative to watching football all weekend.