Green Tip #24: "Xixi no Banho"

Quite some time ago, I wrote about the negative aspects of outsourcing and how in turn, the countries in the Western Hemisphere should be owed half a day's worth of sunlight in order to save electricity at night. Well, as you might remember, I came down maybe just a little bit hard on the countries that the US typically outsources to. So now, in an effort to be fair and balanced, I thought I would share with you a tip that actually came from overseas.

So, a short while ago, I came across an article about an ad campaign that Brazilian environmental group, SOS Mata Atlantica, is airing on television. It shocked me that they were doing this campaign, because it was so bizarre that I actually considered writing about it in one of the Green Tips. I guess that's what I get for saving good ideas for special occasions; someone in Brazil will beat me to the punch.

Anyway, this unusual ad campaign features the slogan "Xixi no Banho," which, for those of you who are fluent in Portuguese will know means "Pee in the shower." Now, Green Tip #24 is not, as you might imagine, telling you to pee in the shower. I neither endorse nor condemn peeing in the shower. Like religion, politics, and Coke vs. Pepsi, I believe that some decisions should be up to each individual person. Who am I to tell you where you should be peeing? (Just for now pretend you didn't read Green Tip #22. That was under different circumstances.)

No, Green Tip #24 is this: If Ever You Have a Good Green Idea, Share It On Your Blog Before Someone In Brazil Does It Before You. Okay, okay, I guess that in itself will not actually help the environment. But really, I guess it just comes down to me being upset that they got to it before me. So seize the moment if ever you get a good idea and make sure that you get credit for it. I mean just think, you could've been responsible for a couple million peeing in the shower.

... um... come to think of it, that's really gross.

Green Tip #3: Imported Lighting

As most people in the world will know by know, outsourcing is something that is being used more and more by companies. In case you are one of 0.1% of the world's population that hasn't been affected by outsourcing in one way or another (sorry North Korea, you're just holding yourself back at this point), outsourcing is a company that says something like "hey, I'm a car company, I should be making cars, not worrying about making screws. I'll have some Chinese company make screws for me." And for the last few decades, that has worked really well for companies. (Until the car company goes bankrupt and is eventually bought out by the Chinese screw company)

So typically in the US and Europe and other richer companies lose quite a few jobs to these other countries. And while it is true we do like those fun little toys that go in our kids' Happy Meals, I think many people in this country will agree that China and India sort of owe us something for all those jobs we've given them. And I know exactly what you're thinking: "Seriously, when is he getting to the green tip of the day?" Oh really? Is that what you're thinking? I'm so sorry, I got so carried away with the whole China thing.

Green stuff, right! Right now, as I write this, I look outside my window and I can't see anything. That's because it's night and I need electricity to be able to see stuff that's going on in my apartment. But meanwhile, guess what's happening in China? They're probably out there sunbathing, those lucky job-stealing screw makers. Sorry, car makers by now.

Here's what I propose. Instead of us wasting our precious energy to light up our houses, how about we set up a large series of mirror that encircle the globe and direct sunlight across the Pacific Ocean to us here in the US during our nighttime. We can have sunlight 24 hours a day! Ah, think how nice it will be not to even need headlights on our cars or have to deal with those know-it-all astronomers who want our tax dollars to study space dust.

Oh what a glorious world we'll live in. Wait, shoot... we already outsourced all of our mirror makers to China.