Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Green Tip #100!

Hooray! The 100th Green Tip! In honor of such a momentous occasion, I'm going to share with you an extremely special Green Tip. One that will change your life forever and reduce your carbon footprint to next to nothing! So here we go, Green Tip #100 is:

ah...

well, you should...

...have...

...something or other...

...but give up doing...

Oh, who am I kidding? I'm out of ideas for Green Tips. But I know just the solution. I need to flush out my system by giving you 50 Tips that are just a little too practical or too bizarre to write an entire entry about. These tend to build up in my brain like plaque in someone's arteries and get in the way of all the good impractical ideas. Here we go, have fun!

- Stop flossing, it wastes string - Drink water, not soda - Stop buying more canvas grocery bags and use the ones you have - Don't drive at night, save your headlights - Stop washing your clothes - Get a smaller TV - Learn how to sew - Eat more carrots - Turn off the reading lights - Live on a mountain, get a bike - Learn how to hang glide - Learn how to ride a horse - Buy extremely local, only buy from your neighbors - Reduce everything in your life - Reuse everything in your life - Recycle everything in your life - Be a workaholic, live at work - Stowaway - Stop reading blogs, start reading books - Chalk graffiti, not spray paint - Eat local and organic, steal from a farm - Teach your baby not to poop to save diapers - Don't buy SUVs - or pickup trucks - or vans - or midsized cars - or compact cars - or any cars - Running a marathon is great, walking it would save energy - Tofu needs lots of salt - Underachieve - Stoptypingspacespeoplewillunderstand - Stp typng vwls s wll - Dbthfthstgthr - Don't vacation, daydream - Live on the moon, no atmosphere to pollute! - Go into a coma - Cryogenically freeze yourself - Learn how to photosynthesize - Inject green ink into your skin - Replace your limbs with highly efficient robot arms and legs - Ditch your printer, get a box of crayons - Don't watch movies, daydream - Dig out all of the bottles and cans out of your neighbors' garbage and take them to Michigan to recycle but get pulled over by the cops for speeding and keep insulting the police officer until you get arrested and spend the rest of your life in jail to avoid wasting gas on a morning commute! - Don't watch TV, daydream - Cut off your foot to save socks and shoes - Don't have a social life, daydream - Stop a couple short of 50 to save laptop batteries.

I guess now would be a good time to tell you that I'll be changing the format of this blog sometime in the near future. I haven't finalized the details, but I'll be switching to 4 Tournament matches per week on Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday (or Sunday). Once the Tournament is over, I'll go back to Green Tips of some sort.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Tournament Round 1, Match 8 - (2) Electric Vehicles vs. (7) Carbon Offsets

In a battle for the ages (not really), (2) Electric Vehicles takes on (7) Carbon Offsets. Two ideas will enter and only one will exit! Who will it be?!

Electric Vehicles

Don't be mistaken. I mentioned last time that Hybrid Vehicles referred to Electric Hybrids. Electric Hybrids and Electric Vehicles are not the same; they're not even in the same ballpark. Electric Vehicles run purely on electricity. None of that gasoline crap. True, many of them have gasoline backups in case the battery runs out, but for the first 40 or so miles, it's all electric.

Impact on the Environment (9/15):
Half of you probably think that number is too high, half too low. The half that think it's too low are probably less informed about Electric Cars. Yes, it's awesome that Electric Vehicles have no carbon emissions when they're using their batteries, so you'd think that the impact on the environment would be extremely low (with a high score). But electricity has to come from somewhere and that somewhere is largely coal and natural gas (which emit carbon emissions). So you think that Electric Vehicles would be neutral for the environment compared to regular cars. Right now, probably. But in the future, as we go to more alternative energy, we can take advantage of reduced carbon emissions from the electric grid.

Practicality (8/10):
While Electric Vehicles have had a long and spotty history, we're almost at the point where technology is good enough that they could catch on in a more mainstream way. Scientists have created batteries that last long enough to get most people to work and back, so as long as you don't want to go roadtripping, Electric Vehicles may be a good fit for you.

Sustainability (7/10):
Ultimately, we'd have to find something better than cars (Trains maybe?). Environmental concerns aside, our infrastructure is almost at a breaking point. Roads are overly crowded and becoming more and more costly to repair. (Asphalt - not good for the environment by the way). But for now, Electric Vehicles are a very good option.

Awesomeness (7/10):
Anyone who can make glorified golf carts be main draws at car shows across the country deserves a medal. A medal for awesomeness.

User Input (1/5):
Electric Vehicles, FTW!

Carbon Offsets

Carbon Offsets (CO) are pretty simple. You fly somewhere in a plane and you pay a certain amount that goes towards alternative energies or carbon capture or some such thing. It's not a great system, but it is a way to reduce the guilt you feel from burning dinosaur remains.

Impact on the Environment (??/15):
It's really really hard to say what kind of impact CO have on the environment. The problem is that you don't really know where that money is going. Are people really using that money to directly buy solar panels and wind turbines? Do those solar panels really reduce carbon emissions by as much as you emitted? How much money is going towards administrative costs? Are you being ripped off by the companies that are selling these? It's just too hard to tell.

Practicality (7/10):
I mean, really. If we knew that there was a good system in place for this whole thing, this would be a great way to increase funding for alternative energy technologies. And it's extremely easy to do. Lots of airline companies have options on their websites that tacks on the CO costs directly when you're booking your flight.

Sustainability (3/10):
Anything that doesn't have a visible thing that they can hand people when they buy them will not sell well for long. People need to see something tangible when they're buying it, so I don't see CO being popular for all that long.

Awesomeness (1/10):
When I first hear about these I guess it sounded somewhat awesome. But the more I thought about it, the more this idea seemed to fall into the category of naming stars after people or buying land on the moon. This is just a lazy way for people to think they're being better for the environment because they payed a little extra.

User Input (0/5):
Get those comments in, everyone!

Alright, let's tally those scores!

Electric Vehicles: 32
Carbon Offsets: 11-26

Even at its best, Carbon Offsets falls short at 26. And that concludes the Green Travel Region, Round 1! Tune in Wednesday to kick off the Green Energy Region when (1) Wind Power takes on (8) Tidal Power!

Friday, June 11, 2010

Green Tip #99: Three Birds With One Stone

So this Green Tip will be dedicated to a friend of mine who, ironically enough, won't be able to read this because he'll be in another country where he may or may not have access to the Internet. That other country, which shall remain nameless to protect the identity of those who live there (totally unnecessary), happens to be on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean from the USA.

So anyway, after I drove my friend to the airport, I started thinking about oceans and I thought back to the good ole' days before the Atlantic Ocean existed. Ah, yes, I remember it like it was just 130 millions years ago. Times were much simpler back then. Animals didn't have to worry about crossing an ocean to visit their relatives. We didn't have to worry about things like ocean currents reversing because of Greenland melting. There was no such thing as the Great Atlantic Garbage Patch. Good times... Good times...

But wait! Couldn't go go back to those days of Pangea? If we can send a man to the moon, surely we can push continents closer together! I mean, could you imagine if England and New England were finally reunited? It would cut down on so much gas if we could drive 'across the pond' (or lack thereof) instead of having to fly. Also, the GAGP would end up being smushed into a big plastic blob wedged between the two continents. And thirdly, pushing continents together would make Greenland be pushed north into the Arctic Circle, which would keep it cool enough that it wouldn't melt!

Now, how you're going to manage to get continents back together isn't really my concern. Now if someone wants a really fun challenge, you can create a blog about how to put my crazy ideas into practice. It would be difficult, but it could be pretty rewarding!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Tournament Round 1, Match 7 - (3) Hybrid Vehicles vs. (6) Walking

(3) Hybrid Vehicles and (6) Walking. Go!

Hybrid Vehicles

While I didn't specify it, I am referring to specifically Electric-Hybrid Vehicles. There are also Hydraulic Hybrids, but the electric ones are by far the most popular, so we'll go with that. Hybrids work by charging a battery whenever the brakes are applied. Thus, starting and stopping a lot is somewhat good for your fuel efficiency. The funny thing is this "new" technology has been around for around 100 years. How about that?

Impact on the Environment (8/15):
I mean yeah, it does increase the fuel efficiency of cars without drivers changing their driving habits. But ultimately, it's only something that will slow down our dependence on foreign oil. Even if we all switch to Hybrids, we're still going to need a lot of oil. Oil that, when burned, releases carbon emissions. This will only slow the inevitable, not stop it.

Practicality (10/10):
When Hybrids were becoming popular again a few years back, the cost of the additional Hybridity (don't question my vocabulary) usually didn't offset the savings from using less gas. At least not for quite a few years. Then two things happened, gas prices went way up and the cost of making Hybrids went down as the technology matured further. This made Hybrids very very popular. It may come to the point when Hybrids are the standard for all cars and non-Hybrids are the exception. Sort of like manual cars versus automatic.

Sustainability (7/10):
Like I mentioned in the last paragraph, Hybrid technology is so innocuous (as in nobody would notice too much if all cars were Hybrids) that it may become the standard for all cars. This would be a good thing, because there would be little to no resistance to everyone switching to Hybrids.

Awesomeness (6/10):
Hybrids are a really savvy marketing technique because they have such an evocative connotation. Buying Hybrids is the way that lazy people can show that they care about the environment without doing anything strenuous like recycling or Walking to work.

User Input (0/5):
Get those comments in, everyone!

Walking

When I say Walking, I mean Walking to something that you normally drive (or ride your bike) to, thus saving gas (or wasting time).

Impact on the Environment (15/15):
If we took all the cars off the road, we'd be set. As in, done. Our environmental problems would be over. Carbon levels in the atmosphere would drop back to normal levels and climate change would slow down. The polar bears would be saved. The coral reefs would grow back. Al Gore would have to find a new line of work.

Practicality (1/10):
There are very very few cases when you can justify Walking everywhere you go. Unless of course you go to college, but you know from Green Tip #72 that's not the best idea. Even living in a big city, you still have to take the bus or taxis. And what about moving? Are you really going to carry that couch all the way across town or to another state?

Sustainability (5/10):
Well, people will always need to Walk a little bit around the house or to the mailbox. But it's a gamble if people will be Walking more or less to places. It depends a lot on if people continue to expand outwards to the suburbs or if people in the suburbs move back into the city that has been abandoned by the people who moved to the suburbs in the first place.

Awesomeness (3/10):
Okay, so at first it would be pretty awesome. Never paying for gas? Sounds awesome! Ha! Wait until winter. Or when it's raining. Or late at night. Okay, I think you get the point. Walking everywhere would get pretty darn un-awesome.

User Input (0/5):
Get those comments in, everyone!

Alright, let's tally those scores!

Hybrids: 31
Walking: 24


Hybrids will move on to face another foe. Who will it be? Find out Saturday when (2) Electric Vehicles takes on (7) Carbon Offsets.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Green Tip #98: Banana Bread

Mmmmmm.... Don't you just love the smell of banana bread muffins baking in the oven? I can't even begin to describe how much I love the taste of the warm, luscious banana-y goodness topped with cinnamon and brown sugar. Well, I could begin to describe it, but I wouldn't be able to complete the description because it's very difficult to describe tastes and smells and then you'd be left with half a description of banana bread muffins and I just hate to leave you hanging like that. So I'll just let you make some yourself and you won't need me to describe it for you.

Hm? What's that? You're wondering where this is going and how it relates to Green Tip #98? Well I'll tell you! (Of course I will, I'd be a jerk to just say "Make banana bread" and assume that you can figure out what the environmental message behind it all is).

So, bananas are weird. Not the fact that they're shaped so unnaturally or the fact that bananas don't really have seeds which is weird for fruits. No, I mean they're all backwards in terms of when you can and can't use them. Let me give you an example. Let's say I wanted to make apple pie. Mmmmmm.... apple pie. I can't even begin to describe- Okay, sorry, I'm getting lost in my own head again. You can't go wrong with apple pie, right? Especially if you use perfectly ripe apples. Freshly picked, right off the apple tree. Sounds delicious, right?

Now let's think about banana bread. You go to the store to get bananas and you pick up the perfect bunch of bananas: nice and firm, mostly yellow with just a tiny hint of green and no spots or bruises at all. You take them home and... wait a week until they get gross and black and squishy because you can't very well make banana bread from firm yellow bananas. What gives? How come bananas are still useful after they've gone bad but other fruits you have to throw away.

Strawberries and blueberries start getting moldy, potatoes grow those nasty root things, lettuce withers and turns black, grapes get all squishy and sour and you have to throw them all away, adding more volume to the landfills (or kitchen walls). In fact, I can't think of another food other than bananas that are still useful for eating after they go bad.

So Green Tip #98 has two parts (depending on your level of tolerance of mold). First, you could only eat bananas (when they're ripe) and banana bread (when they're 'mature'). This will save a lot of produce from being thrown away. Alternatively, you can find recipes for [whatever moldy food you have] bread that can make use of your rotten food. (Don't worry, the mold spores will die in the intense heat of the oven. Maybe...)

So, if you've still got an appetite after that, march on out to your kitchen and fish that moldy bag of lettuce out of your garbage, because you're having lettuce bread for breakfast tomorrow!!

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Tournament Round 1, Match 6 - (4) Biofuels vs. (5) Trains

Hey all, sorry about the super late post. I had some... er... super important things to take care of this weekend. You wouldn't understand. No more wasting time! Let's see how (4) Biofuels and (5) Trains stack up!

Biofuels

Biofuels, wow such a huge topic that one paragraph won't be enough. But I'll try. Biofuels are anythings that fuel vehicles that are made from plant or animal matter. Theoretically, they are renewable, but that assumes that you plant more of the crop. Common examples are gasoline made from algae and ethanol made from corn.

Impact on the Environment (7/15):
I really want to give this one higher marks. Because anything that can reduce our dependence on foreign oil and potentially burn cleaner would be a great idea. But here's the catch. As we chop down all that abundant corn growing in our backyards, that's that much less corn for us to feed to livestock and eat ourselves. That drives up prices and forces us to use more land for farms (which I've mentioned in the Wildlife Conservation is a bad thing). On top of that, ethanol still releases carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases when it's burned.

Practicality (9/10):
Biofuels are very practical. We won't need to change much about our cars. We don't need to change much about our gas pipelines. We're already growing corn and other crops like switchgrass. In fact, up to 10% of gas you get now contains corn-based ethanol.

Sustainability (5/10):
Even if we switched half of the gasoline we use to corn-based ethanol, we won't have enough corn in this country for that, let alone feeding livestock. So this won't solve our oil crisis. The good news is that scientists are working on non-corn based alternatives to making ethanol. Things like sugar cane (widely used now in Brazil) and algae (we're never going to run out of ocean (unless the Great Pacific Garbage Patch has its way)).

Awesomeness (4/10):
I mean, really, you don't even see the gas you put in your car now, so you wouldn't notice if it suddenly looked like corn-based fuel. Even if it was glowing green because it was made from algae, you still wouldn't notice. Go on with your lives, people, nothing to see here.

User Input (0/5):
Get those comments in, everyone!

Trains

Even three year old kids know what Trains are. I don't think that I need to go over this one.

Impact on the Environment (12/15):
Getting more Trains on the road instead of trucks will save a lot of gas because Trains don't stop for red lights and traffic and all that junk. And with high speed Trains becoming more popular, people can travel from one city to another just as quick as air travel but without the gas guzzling airplanes.

Practicality (4/10):
Trains. Hm... The problem is that you can't get rid of trucks altogether. I mean, could you imagine a FedEx Train showing up outside your house to deliver packages? Trains are so limited in where they can go and they take a whole lot of effort to load and unload and everything like that. The good news is that Trains have been around so long that the technology is very mature and people have figured out pretty well how to make Trains.

Sustainability (5/10):
Trains should last for a very very long time. If the rails are kept up pretty well and the Trains are maintained, the rail system should last for quite a long time. A lot of the rail lines that exist in this country have been around since before the Civil War, so 150 years means that Trains weren't just some fad. But there has to be a reason a lot of the rail lines have been shut down in the past 20 years, especially in the Midwest. The killer - Interstate system. Stupid Interstate System...

Awesomeness (8/10):
Trains are pretty darn awesome. I mean, what boy in this country didn't have some kind of Train that they played with when they were kids? Unless of course they run through your backyard, everyone loves trains.

User Input (0/5):
Get those comments in, everyone!

Alright, let's tally those scores!

Biofuels: 25
Trains: 29


Way to go, Trains! Do you think that you can stand up to (1) Bikes? Well, yes, literally, I think a Train could take out a whole fleet of Bikes, but the ability to crush one another isn't a category in this Tournament. This round anyway....