Thursday, September 3, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Green Tip #25: Be Illiterate
Hey everyone, sorry for the post so late in the day on Tuesday. I was having a hard time getting motivated. And I'd rather give you a good post later in the day than a thrown together post up in time for you to read during the day.
So, as you can see from the title of this post, I'm entirely sure that all of you reading this are not doing a good job of following Green Tip #25. Before I get into scolding you for not following my advice, let me explain the logic behind this tip.
Okay, here's the chain of logic that I followed. I was trying to think of some way of reducing the amount of paper that people use. Everything I was coming up with (Don't use the restroom to avoid using toilet paper, don't go to school to avoid getting handouts and textbooks, don't have a job to avoid getting paper money, etc.) didn't seem to accomplish the goal on a grand enough scheme. So then I started going deeper. Almost philosophical about paper, really. What is the purpose of paper? Why does paper even exist in the first place? And I came up with the conclusion that paper is mostly used to share and store information mostly in the form of text.
So following that train of thought I came to the realization that all forms of information sharing, from little slips of paper they use for fortunes in fortune cookies to the energy used on computer screen that reading this blog uses, puts some strain on the earth's natural resources.
So stop sharing information. Unless you're just talking to someone or using sign language, you shouldn't be sharing information without feeling a deep horrible feeling of guilt for sucking the earth dry. Now, I know that you can't unlearn the ability to read, but just try it for a while. I'm sure if you don't read anything for a few years, you'll start to forget things.
Now, I know I'm being sort of conceited by saying this, but just think... this Green Tip is going to be the last thing that you will ever read.
Stay strong, Mother Nature will thank you in the long run!
So, as you can see from the title of this post, I'm entirely sure that all of you reading this are not doing a good job of following Green Tip #25. Before I get into scolding you for not following my advice, let me explain the logic behind this tip.
Okay, here's the chain of logic that I followed. I was trying to think of some way of reducing the amount of paper that people use. Everything I was coming up with (Don't use the restroom to avoid using toilet paper, don't go to school to avoid getting handouts and textbooks, don't have a job to avoid getting paper money, etc.) didn't seem to accomplish the goal on a grand enough scheme. So then I started going deeper. Almost philosophical about paper, really. What is the purpose of paper? Why does paper even exist in the first place? And I came up with the conclusion that paper is mostly used to share and store information mostly in the form of text.
So following that train of thought I came to the realization that all forms of information sharing, from little slips of paper they use for fortunes in fortune cookies to the energy used on computer screen that reading this blog uses, puts some strain on the earth's natural resources.
So stop sharing information. Unless you're just talking to someone or using sign language, you shouldn't be sharing information without feeling a deep horrible feeling of guilt for sucking the earth dry. Now, I know that you can't unlearn the ability to read, but just try it for a while. I'm sure if you don't read anything for a few years, you'll start to forget things.
Now, I know I'm being sort of conceited by saying this, but just think... this Green Tip is going to be the last thing that you will ever read.
Stay strong, Mother Nature will thank you in the long run!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Green Tip #24: "Xixi no Banho"
Quite some time ago, I wrote about the negative aspects of outsourcing and how in turn, the countries in the Western Hemisphere should be owed half a day's worth of sunlight in order to save electricity at night. Well, as you might remember, I came down maybe just a little bit hard on the countries that the US typically outsources to. So now, in an effort to be fair and balanced, I thought I would share with you a tip that actually came from overseas.
So, a short while ago, I came across an article about an ad campaign that Brazilian environmental group, SOS Mata Atlantica, is airing on television. It shocked me that they were doing this campaign, because it was so bizarre that I actually considered writing about it in one of the Green Tips. I guess that's what I get for saving good ideas for special occasions; someone in Brazil will beat me to the punch.
Anyway, this unusual ad campaign features the slogan "Xixi no Banho," which, for those of you who are fluent in Portuguese will know means "Pee in the shower." Now, Green Tip #24 is not, as you might imagine, telling you to pee in the shower. I neither endorse nor condemn peeing in the shower. Like religion, politics, and Coke vs. Pepsi, I believe that some decisions should be up to each individual person. Who am I to tell you where you should be peeing? (Just for now pretend you didn't read Green Tip #22. That was under different circumstances.)
No, Green Tip #24 is this: If Ever You Have a Good Green Idea, Share It On Your Blog Before Someone In Brazil Does It Before You. Okay, okay, I guess that in itself will not actually help the environment. But really, I guess it just comes down to me being upset that they got to it before me. So seize the moment if ever you get a good idea and make sure that you get credit for it. I mean just think, you could've been responsible for a couple million peeing in the shower.
... um... come to think of it, that's really gross.
So, a short while ago, I came across an article about an ad campaign that Brazilian environmental group, SOS Mata Atlantica, is airing on television. It shocked me that they were doing this campaign, because it was so bizarre that I actually considered writing about it in one of the Green Tips. I guess that's what I get for saving good ideas for special occasions; someone in Brazil will beat me to the punch.
Anyway, this unusual ad campaign features the slogan "Xixi no Banho," which, for those of you who are fluent in Portuguese will know means "Pee in the shower." Now, Green Tip #24 is not, as you might imagine, telling you to pee in the shower. I neither endorse nor condemn peeing in the shower. Like religion, politics, and Coke vs. Pepsi, I believe that some decisions should be up to each individual person. Who am I to tell you where you should be peeing? (Just for now pretend you didn't read Green Tip #22. That was under different circumstances.)
No, Green Tip #24 is this: If Ever You Have a Good Green Idea, Share It On Your Blog Before Someone In Brazil Does It Before You. Okay, okay, I guess that in itself will not actually help the environment. But really, I guess it just comes down to me being upset that they got to it before me. So seize the moment if ever you get a good idea and make sure that you get credit for it. I mean just think, you could've been responsible for a couple million peeing in the shower.
... um... come to think of it, that's really gross.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Green Tip #23: For Women Only
Hey, don't think that I forgot about the women readers out there. I mean, it would be hardly fair to give out green tips to men and not have one for the women. And remember guys, just because this is written for women doesn't mean that you don't have to pay attention. Think about this next time it's your anniversary or your wife or girlfriend or mother's birthday. And unfortunately, because we're guys, I'm sure some of you out there were just reminded that one of these events is tomorrow or was last week and you're thinking "oh shoot! I forgot to get her something!!" Don't worry, I've got you covered.
So one thing that I've seemed to notice over the years is that many women tend to amass vast collections of shoes. I know, it might sound like I'm being stereotypical, but if it bothers you that much, I'd be more than happy to conduct a survey and prove scientifically that you're making a big deal out of nothing.
So, back to shoes. What many people don't realize is that shoe-making is quite a Brown (not Green) operation. There is the issue of where the material comes from (cows for leather, rubber trees, glue trees, plastic um.... trees?) and how much of a strain that puts on the environment. Also there is a lot of water that's used and electricity to run the machines. So use less automation, right? Nope, companies tried that in the 90's and got in BIG trouble for using child labor. So what is the environmentally conscious woman to do to satisfy her urge to have a lot of shoes?
I'm not going to say don't buy as many shoes.... directly. I mean, I'm not going to be the one to tell my girlfriend that she only needs a few pairs and that she can make them work for all different outfits. Here's what I suggest instead. And pay close attention, because I don't think I'll ever endorse this product again, but buy many cans of spray paint in all different colors.
Ugh, spray paint with it's chemicals and propellants. Blech! But it's better than buying a lot of shoes. Women, simply find 3 or 4 pairs that you really like for the style of them, then just mix and match with different spray paint colors.
And guys, do the math, a six pack of spray paint costs around $25. So let's say you buy 12 colors. That's $50. 12 colors times 4 pairs of shoes = 48 different shoe varieties. $5 for 48 pairs of shoes? That's a deal not even most guys could pass up.
(note: the author of this post is not responsible for any negative reactions to gifts given based on the advice of The Impractical Green Resource. Do not attempt to contact the author regarding canceled wedding plans, break ups, or evictions. In the event of a break up or eviction, please consult Green Tips #19 and #13, respectively)
So one thing that I've seemed to notice over the years is that many women tend to amass vast collections of shoes. I know, it might sound like I'm being stereotypical, but if it bothers you that much, I'd be more than happy to conduct a survey and prove scientifically that you're making a big deal out of nothing.
So, back to shoes. What many people don't realize is that shoe-making is quite a Brown (not Green) operation. There is the issue of where the material comes from (cows for leather, rubber trees, glue trees, plastic um.... trees?) and how much of a strain that puts on the environment. Also there is a lot of water that's used and electricity to run the machines. So use less automation, right? Nope, companies tried that in the 90's and got in BIG trouble for using child labor. So what is the environmentally conscious woman to do to satisfy her urge to have a lot of shoes?
I'm not going to say don't buy as many shoes.... directly. I mean, I'm not going to be the one to tell my girlfriend that she only needs a few pairs and that she can make them work for all different outfits. Here's what I suggest instead. And pay close attention, because I don't think I'll ever endorse this product again, but buy many cans of spray paint in all different colors.
Ugh, spray paint with it's chemicals and propellants. Blech! But it's better than buying a lot of shoes. Women, simply find 3 or 4 pairs that you really like for the style of them, then just mix and match with different spray paint colors.
And guys, do the math, a six pack of spray paint costs around $25. So let's say you buy 12 colors. That's $50. 12 colors times 4 pairs of shoes = 48 different shoe varieties. $5 for 48 pairs of shoes? That's a deal not even most guys could pass up.
(note: the author of this post is not responsible for any negative reactions to gifts given based on the advice of The Impractical Green Resource. Do not attempt to contact the author regarding canceled wedding plans, break ups, or evictions. In the event of a break up or eviction, please consult Green Tips #19 and #13, respectively)
Friday, August 21, 2009
Green Tip #22: For Guys Only
Sorry. This tip's not going to be applicable to half of the world's population. It's not that I'm sexist or anything. It's just... well... not something that can work for women. But don't worry! I'll come up with something next time that only women can take advantage of. You know, the whole equal rights and opportunities thing.
But anyway, this came to me one day when I was out taking care of errands and I was ready to go back to my apartment. I don't want to get too specific and graphic here, but I had to use the restroom and I debated when I should go: while I was out or wait and go back to my place. After only about 30 or 40 minutes of internal debate (I'm kidding, it was only a few seconds of debate) I concluded to go while I was out, but mostly because it would be a toilet that I didn't have to clean.
I know, it's a selfish reason, but I got to thinking about it more and realized that I was being more environmentally friendly by using the facilities while I was out compared to my apartment. And the reason for that is that urinals use less water per flush than a conventional toilet. In fact, they even make waterless urinals which are great for the environment.
So basically I'm saying to always use the restroom when you're out as opposed to waiting until you get back. Actually, if you want to go even a step further, you should spend as much time away from your house as possible. An easy way to accomplish this is by spending all your time at work, assuming your work has urinals. Think about it. You save water, you save gas from never driving home, and you can earn lots of overtime!
Anyway, it's not the best Green Tip, but think about it guys next time you use a urinal. One simple flush can save the environment, maybe just a little bit at a time.
But anyway, this came to me one day when I was out taking care of errands and I was ready to go back to my apartment. I don't want to get too specific and graphic here, but I had to use the restroom and I debated when I should go: while I was out or wait and go back to my place. After only about 30 or 40 minutes of internal debate (I'm kidding, it was only a few seconds of debate) I concluded to go while I was out, but mostly because it would be a toilet that I didn't have to clean.
I know, it's a selfish reason, but I got to thinking about it more and realized that I was being more environmentally friendly by using the facilities while I was out compared to my apartment. And the reason for that is that urinals use less water per flush than a conventional toilet. In fact, they even make waterless urinals which are great for the environment.
So basically I'm saying to always use the restroom when you're out as opposed to waiting until you get back. Actually, if you want to go even a step further, you should spend as much time away from your house as possible. An easy way to accomplish this is by spending all your time at work, assuming your work has urinals. Think about it. You save water, you save gas from never driving home, and you can earn lots of overtime!
Anyway, it's not the best Green Tip, but think about it guys next time you use a urinal. One simple flush can save the environment, maybe just a little bit at a time.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Green Tip #21: Hoard
Psh, who ever said that you don't ever learn anything useful on TV? So I was laying around my apartment with my AC cranked up to 73 (hey, I'm a person too, don't judge me!) and I was watching a show on TV about people that hoard stuff all over their houses for years and years. And that got me thinking.
Most of you know that landfills are huge environmental nightmares to deal with. You have to worry about making sure that the lining doesn't leak and what to do with the methane gas and what to do with the rainwater runoff and about 100 other things to worry about. And that doesn't take into account the issue of the land that is being used. In fact, landfills have a saying that goes with them of NIMBY or Not In My Back Yard. Well, while people don't want their trash to be thrown away in their backyards, why not put it in your front yards. And porches. And kitchens and bathrooms and bedrooms...
I mean, it's not exactly solving the problem of what to do with all of the waste that we generate, but it'll put off the problem until we have something better to do with it. Like turning waste into energy. It's inefficient now, but give it 15 years or so. We'll have something better by then.
You probably aren't convinced yet, are you? Let me give you this bit of information. I recently made a trip to Honduras and I noticed that they have virtually no waste management system in place. They just throw their trash out the windows. I'm not exaggerating when I say the streets are lined with garbage. (I don't mean to single out Honduras, it's just the only place I've been outside the US.) But who takes more crap from the world community when it comes to their environmental record? The well maintained, organized system that we have in the US or the reckless "the world is my garbage can" ideology in Honduras? That's right, the US always takes crap for our environmental record no matter how hard we try. I say no more landfills! They've done us no good! Make your own house a mini landfill. I mean, it's your trash, it shouldn't bother you to keep it around a little longer. And besides, what better way to recycle than to save an old bandage that you might need to use later?
(As gross as it sounds, someone on one of those shows did save old bandages... blech!)
Most of you know that landfills are huge environmental nightmares to deal with. You have to worry about making sure that the lining doesn't leak and what to do with the methane gas and what to do with the rainwater runoff and about 100 other things to worry about. And that doesn't take into account the issue of the land that is being used. In fact, landfills have a saying that goes with them of NIMBY or Not In My Back Yard. Well, while people don't want their trash to be thrown away in their backyards, why not put it in your front yards. And porches. And kitchens and bathrooms and bedrooms...
I mean, it's not exactly solving the problem of what to do with all of the waste that we generate, but it'll put off the problem until we have something better to do with it. Like turning waste into energy. It's inefficient now, but give it 15 years or so. We'll have something better by then.
You probably aren't convinced yet, are you? Let me give you this bit of information. I recently made a trip to Honduras and I noticed that they have virtually no waste management system in place. They just throw their trash out the windows. I'm not exaggerating when I say the streets are lined with garbage. (I don't mean to single out Honduras, it's just the only place I've been outside the US.) But who takes more crap from the world community when it comes to their environmental record? The well maintained, organized system that we have in the US or the reckless "the world is my garbage can" ideology in Honduras? That's right, the US always takes crap for our environmental record no matter how hard we try. I say no more landfills! They've done us no good! Make your own house a mini landfill. I mean, it's your trash, it shouldn't bother you to keep it around a little longer. And besides, what better way to recycle than to save an old bandage that you might need to use later?
(As gross as it sounds, someone on one of those shows did save old bandages... blech!)
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