Now, I hate to brag about how awesome I am, but I have got a good sound Green Tip for you today that was inspired by how awesome I am. Financially speaking, I mean. Well, not anymore. You see, I was just minding my own business, checking my mail, and I started to notice that I had gotten WAY too many credit card applications. So then I started to realize that if I had a worse credit rating, I wouldn't be getting all these things in the mail. And I wouldn't be wasting all these trees just to throw away all these credit card applications. So Green Tip #13 is this: do whatever it takes to destroy your credit rating.
But wait! It gets better! With a really bad credit rating, you'll probably start getting turned down for loans. With the crippling realization that you'll soon have to make the choice between paying for food or paying for your kid to keep going to that fancy private college, you'll start hitting the bottle pretty hard. Well, as that always turns out, you'll end up missing a lot of days of work due to being hung over.
That's great! Why, you say? Because once you get fired from your job, you won't have to use up gas to drive to work every day. Way to go, cutting down those carbon emissions! And, as this Green Tip continues to snowball, they will soon cut off your electricity (yay!) and gas (go green!) and foreclose your house. And let me ask you this: which uses more energy, running the A/C in your house or running the A/C in your car that you're living out of? Exactly. Once you start living out of your car and begging your kid to let you stay with him or her in their fancy dorm room, you'll truly be living an environmentally friendly life.
I love Recessions!
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