Ahh... it's so nice to be able to share this Green Tip with all of you in a print form again. So, let's get back into it. You're probably looking at this title and thinking, "what?? I took all that time and effort to re-learn how to read, and I get this weird Green Tip?" But yes, you are reading that title right and I should probably explain.
So, imagine this situation: you work on the 40th floor of a skyscraper and you're hard at work counting widgets or whatever you happen to be doing for a living. Well, you're working hard and you decide that you need to take a break. So you head over to the break room and you fill the coffee pot with water. First of all, let me just yell at you for wanting to use a coffee pot. When you get the time, check out the wattage of one of those monsters. They're extremely 'brown' appliances. (ha, a coffee joke!) But coffee makers are a different story. I'm here to yell at you about water use.
How do you think that the water makes its way up all those floors to the 40th floor? Yup, it has to be pumped by a pump, somewhere in a water distribution plant in your city. And that uses energy to do that. So what is the solution? I mean you can't just not drink water if you live above the first floor.
Well, you could just bring your own water bottles, right? Wrong! I'm sure you know how bad water bottles are for the environment. All that wasted energy and resources to make and recycle all those bottles. Okay, so maybe you can just walk down 39 floors to use the drinking fountain. Hm... 78 floors of stairs for a drink of water? I don't think so...
So the only solution I can think of is to use a CamelBak at work. And I've heard that they go very well with suits, in case that's how you have to dress for your job. Think about it, you can start a brand new trend in your office!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Green Tip #25: Be Illiterate
Hey everyone, sorry for the post so late in the day on Tuesday. I was having a hard time getting motivated. And I'd rather give you a good post later in the day than a thrown together post up in time for you to read during the day.
So, as you can see from the title of this post, I'm entirely sure that all of you reading this are not doing a good job of following Green Tip #25. Before I get into scolding you for not following my advice, let me explain the logic behind this tip.
Okay, here's the chain of logic that I followed. I was trying to think of some way of reducing the amount of paper that people use. Everything I was coming up with (Don't use the restroom to avoid using toilet paper, don't go to school to avoid getting handouts and textbooks, don't have a job to avoid getting paper money, etc.) didn't seem to accomplish the goal on a grand enough scheme. So then I started going deeper. Almost philosophical about paper, really. What is the purpose of paper? Why does paper even exist in the first place? And I came up with the conclusion that paper is mostly used to share and store information mostly in the form of text.
So following that train of thought I came to the realization that all forms of information sharing, from little slips of paper they use for fortunes in fortune cookies to the energy used on computer screen that reading this blog uses, puts some strain on the earth's natural resources.
So stop sharing information. Unless you're just talking to someone or using sign language, you shouldn't be sharing information without feeling a deep horrible feeling of guilt for sucking the earth dry. Now, I know that you can't unlearn the ability to read, but just try it for a while. I'm sure if you don't read anything for a few years, you'll start to forget things.
Now, I know I'm being sort of conceited by saying this, but just think... this Green Tip is going to be the last thing that you will ever read.
Stay strong, Mother Nature will thank you in the long run!
So, as you can see from the title of this post, I'm entirely sure that all of you reading this are not doing a good job of following Green Tip #25. Before I get into scolding you for not following my advice, let me explain the logic behind this tip.
Okay, here's the chain of logic that I followed. I was trying to think of some way of reducing the amount of paper that people use. Everything I was coming up with (Don't use the restroom to avoid using toilet paper, don't go to school to avoid getting handouts and textbooks, don't have a job to avoid getting paper money, etc.) didn't seem to accomplish the goal on a grand enough scheme. So then I started going deeper. Almost philosophical about paper, really. What is the purpose of paper? Why does paper even exist in the first place? And I came up with the conclusion that paper is mostly used to share and store information mostly in the form of text.
So following that train of thought I came to the realization that all forms of information sharing, from little slips of paper they use for fortunes in fortune cookies to the energy used on computer screen that reading this blog uses, puts some strain on the earth's natural resources.
So stop sharing information. Unless you're just talking to someone or using sign language, you shouldn't be sharing information without feeling a deep horrible feeling of guilt for sucking the earth dry. Now, I know that you can't unlearn the ability to read, but just try it for a while. I'm sure if you don't read anything for a few years, you'll start to forget things.
Now, I know I'm being sort of conceited by saying this, but just think... this Green Tip is going to be the last thing that you will ever read.
Stay strong, Mother Nature will thank you in the long run!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Green Tip #24: "Xixi no Banho"
Quite some time ago, I wrote about the negative aspects of outsourcing and how in turn, the countries in the Western Hemisphere should be owed half a day's worth of sunlight in order to save electricity at night. Well, as you might remember, I came down maybe just a little bit hard on the countries that the US typically outsources to. So now, in an effort to be fair and balanced, I thought I would share with you a tip that actually came from overseas.
So, a short while ago, I came across an article about an ad campaign that Brazilian environmental group, SOS Mata Atlantica, is airing on television. It shocked me that they were doing this campaign, because it was so bizarre that I actually considered writing about it in one of the Green Tips. I guess that's what I get for saving good ideas for special occasions; someone in Brazil will beat me to the punch.
Anyway, this unusual ad campaign features the slogan "Xixi no Banho," which, for those of you who are fluent in Portuguese will know means "Pee in the shower." Now, Green Tip #24 is not, as you might imagine, telling you to pee in the shower. I neither endorse nor condemn peeing in the shower. Like religion, politics, and Coke vs. Pepsi, I believe that some decisions should be up to each individual person. Who am I to tell you where you should be peeing? (Just for now pretend you didn't read Green Tip #22. That was under different circumstances.)
No, Green Tip #24 is this: If Ever You Have a Good Green Idea, Share It On Your Blog Before Someone In Brazil Does It Before You. Okay, okay, I guess that in itself will not actually help the environment. But really, I guess it just comes down to me being upset that they got to it before me. So seize the moment if ever you get a good idea and make sure that you get credit for it. I mean just think, you could've been responsible for a couple million peeing in the shower.
... um... come to think of it, that's really gross.
So, a short while ago, I came across an article about an ad campaign that Brazilian environmental group, SOS Mata Atlantica, is airing on television. It shocked me that they were doing this campaign, because it was so bizarre that I actually considered writing about it in one of the Green Tips. I guess that's what I get for saving good ideas for special occasions; someone in Brazil will beat me to the punch.
Anyway, this unusual ad campaign features the slogan "Xixi no Banho," which, for those of you who are fluent in Portuguese will know means "Pee in the shower." Now, Green Tip #24 is not, as you might imagine, telling you to pee in the shower. I neither endorse nor condemn peeing in the shower. Like religion, politics, and Coke vs. Pepsi, I believe that some decisions should be up to each individual person. Who am I to tell you where you should be peeing? (Just for now pretend you didn't read Green Tip #22. That was under different circumstances.)
No, Green Tip #24 is this: If Ever You Have a Good Green Idea, Share It On Your Blog Before Someone In Brazil Does It Before You. Okay, okay, I guess that in itself will not actually help the environment. But really, I guess it just comes down to me being upset that they got to it before me. So seize the moment if ever you get a good idea and make sure that you get credit for it. I mean just think, you could've been responsible for a couple million peeing in the shower.
... um... come to think of it, that's really gross.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Green Tip #23: For Women Only
Hey, don't think that I forgot about the women readers out there. I mean, it would be hardly fair to give out green tips to men and not have one for the women. And remember guys, just because this is written for women doesn't mean that you don't have to pay attention. Think about this next time it's your anniversary or your wife or girlfriend or mother's birthday. And unfortunately, because we're guys, I'm sure some of you out there were just reminded that one of these events is tomorrow or was last week and you're thinking "oh shoot! I forgot to get her something!!" Don't worry, I've got you covered.
So one thing that I've seemed to notice over the years is that many women tend to amass vast collections of shoes. I know, it might sound like I'm being stereotypical, but if it bothers you that much, I'd be more than happy to conduct a survey and prove scientifically that you're making a big deal out of nothing.
So, back to shoes. What many people don't realize is that shoe-making is quite a Brown (not Green) operation. There is the issue of where the material comes from (cows for leather, rubber trees, glue trees, plastic um.... trees?) and how much of a strain that puts on the environment. Also there is a lot of water that's used and electricity to run the machines. So use less automation, right? Nope, companies tried that in the 90's and got in BIG trouble for using child labor. So what is the environmentally conscious woman to do to satisfy her urge to have a lot of shoes?
I'm not going to say don't buy as many shoes.... directly. I mean, I'm not going to be the one to tell my girlfriend that she only needs a few pairs and that she can make them work for all different outfits. Here's what I suggest instead. And pay close attention, because I don't think I'll ever endorse this product again, but buy many cans of spray paint in all different colors.
Ugh, spray paint with it's chemicals and propellants. Blech! But it's better than buying a lot of shoes. Women, simply find 3 or 4 pairs that you really like for the style of them, then just mix and match with different spray paint colors.
And guys, do the math, a six pack of spray paint costs around $25. So let's say you buy 12 colors. That's $50. 12 colors times 4 pairs of shoes = 48 different shoe varieties. $5 for 48 pairs of shoes? That's a deal not even most guys could pass up.
(note: the author of this post is not responsible for any negative reactions to gifts given based on the advice of The Impractical Green Resource. Do not attempt to contact the author regarding canceled wedding plans, break ups, or evictions. In the event of a break up or eviction, please consult Green Tips #19 and #13, respectively)
So one thing that I've seemed to notice over the years is that many women tend to amass vast collections of shoes. I know, it might sound like I'm being stereotypical, but if it bothers you that much, I'd be more than happy to conduct a survey and prove scientifically that you're making a big deal out of nothing.
So, back to shoes. What many people don't realize is that shoe-making is quite a Brown (not Green) operation. There is the issue of where the material comes from (cows for leather, rubber trees, glue trees, plastic um.... trees?) and how much of a strain that puts on the environment. Also there is a lot of water that's used and electricity to run the machines. So use less automation, right? Nope, companies tried that in the 90's and got in BIG trouble for using child labor. So what is the environmentally conscious woman to do to satisfy her urge to have a lot of shoes?
I'm not going to say don't buy as many shoes.... directly. I mean, I'm not going to be the one to tell my girlfriend that she only needs a few pairs and that she can make them work for all different outfits. Here's what I suggest instead. And pay close attention, because I don't think I'll ever endorse this product again, but buy many cans of spray paint in all different colors.
Ugh, spray paint with it's chemicals and propellants. Blech! But it's better than buying a lot of shoes. Women, simply find 3 or 4 pairs that you really like for the style of them, then just mix and match with different spray paint colors.
And guys, do the math, a six pack of spray paint costs around $25. So let's say you buy 12 colors. That's $50. 12 colors times 4 pairs of shoes = 48 different shoe varieties. $5 for 48 pairs of shoes? That's a deal not even most guys could pass up.
(note: the author of this post is not responsible for any negative reactions to gifts given based on the advice of The Impractical Green Resource. Do not attempt to contact the author regarding canceled wedding plans, break ups, or evictions. In the event of a break up or eviction, please consult Green Tips #19 and #13, respectively)
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