Green Tip #102: Trough

I have to admit, I'm a little bit ashamed that I never mentioned this before. I mean, come on... what's the one subject I talk about more than anything else? The bathroom, of course. I've had countless (by countless I mean I don't feel like counting, not I'm unable to count) Green Tips focused on how to reduce the amount of water you use in the washroom. But how has the topic of troughs never come up in any of my posts??? It's the ultimate water saving technique!

For those of you not aware of the monstrosities that are known as troughs (I've known women that thought we were joking when my friends and I were discussing them), they are these big metal or ceramic buckets that run the length of men's bathrooms, usually in sports arenas. There's a drain at one end, so everything flows to one side without using water.

Basically, these are around because they're easier to manage and handle lots of guys. It also means that there's no privacy and they're super awkward to use. But... Ugh... I have to endorse using them because they save water... *sigh* Sometimes you've got to make sacrifices to save the planet.

I also propose that someone make a female trough. Not just to save water, but also to bring the genders closer together. Because I think that women everywhere will have much more empathy for their male companions when they know what men have been going through for all these years.

You're welcome, world.

Green Tip #101: Let it Rain

Alright! The moment you've been waiting months for! After all this time, the final results of the Tournament are here! I know that you've all been reading intently over these past few weeks as I posted daily matchups, some of which went on for over 10 pages. I'm amazed that you would stick it out so faithfully and now you're here to find out the final results.

But before I reveal the big winner, I want to remember some of the best matches. Remember last Tuesday when-

Hey, wait... What's that orange button that says "Publish Post" at the bottom of my page supposed to mean? Oh.... wait, I think that I've been writing hundreds of pages of Tournament matches and not publishing any of them... Sorry about that...

Haha, no, I'm just kidding. I haven't been writing any posts because my heart has not been in it. Let's face it, the Tournament was probably a bad idea. It wasn't as funny and witty as the Green Tips that you've come to expect. So I'm starting over. I'm going to be less structured, more entertaining. I don't think I'm going to get on a fixed schedule yet, but we'll see once I get back on track.

Green Tip #101. I almost thought you'd never come. I actually thought of you before I even posted Green Tip #100, but I never got a chance to bring you to life.

A lot of hippies will tell you to not use your shower and instead take soap and shampoo (not much if your hair is short) outside when it rains and this can be used to cut down on your water consumption. I would also recommend that you do this, but not because it will save water.

No, I want you to shower in the rain so every time you try to clean yourself and you feel that distinct burning feeling all over your skin, you will remember how painful acid rain is and how bad it is for the environment. Every burning rash that develops will serve as a reminder to write your politician and tell them to do something about acid rain. And if you are a politician, remember that you can try this new showering practice, just remember not to strip naked in public places. After all, that's over 75% of political scandals start...