Phew, I think I'm still working off all that dessert that I ate during the few days surrounding Christmas... Well, it feels great to be back writing another entry for the Impractical Green Resource. Well, what do you know! My calendar is telling me that this here is going to be my last entry for 2009! And I think it is especially appropriate for me to do one of those year in review things that everyone seems to do this time of year. So without further ado, here's the Impractical Green Resource's 5 Green News Stories of 2009!
When I first came up with the idea for this last week, I was planning on doing a top 5 news stories of the year, but upon further speculation, I realized there were two reasons why that wasn't going to work. The first was that I have a staff of exactly one person (me) working at the IGR and it would take me until the end of 2010 to sift through all of the news stories and rank the top five. The second was that (no offense to 2009) this past year has been quite the disappointing year for environmentally friendly news. I mean think about it. The economy has stalled much of the growth in the large scale solar and wind power plants, the Copenhagen conference was marked by protesters and boycotts, and we've seen the price of recyclables drop dramatically, making less incentive for cities and businesses to recycle.
So here's five more or less random stories from 2009:
1) The Decline of the Newspaper Industry
Yes, I know I might be cold-hearted to secretly want some of these newspapers to shut down. I mean, the last thing we need now is for people to be losing their jobs. But I read that 142 newspapers in the US stopped operations in 2009. That means less paper that's being used to print the news and less gas used to deliver the papers. And it's not all bad news (no pun intended) for the news industry. Many of these papers have gone digital and still maintain online sites. And I think it's for the best this way. I can still keep up with the goings-on in Northwest Ohio by reading the Toledo Blade's website even though I've been in Willoughby for the past week or so. And yes, I know I'll be using electricity to read the news online, but if I weren't doing that, I'd probably be online anyway playing games on Facebook.
2) The US Becomes the World Leader in Wind Power
USA! USA! Go us! As of the end of last year/the beginning of this year the US passed up Germany for the country with the most power generated from wind power. That sounds pretty good, right? Well, let's look at the details. The US had a capacity of 31 GW during 2009 whereas Germany had only 25 GW. So.... we're the best, right? Not quite. The US used about 4100 TWh of power in 2009 compared with around 580 for Germany. The US only gets 1.5 % of its power from wind compared to over 7% for Germany. That's like praising California for passing up Iowa in total wind power. (Which is funny, because that hasn't happened yet. Iowa's clearly been reading the IGR based on how they're sticking it to California.)
3) We Have Too Many Solar Panels
I never thought I'd say this, but we've got a bit crazy with solar panels. During 2009, so many companies jumped into the solar panel manufacturing business that we actually have too many solar panels. A lot of the little start up companies can't live up to their forecasts because they didn't expect so many other companies to enter the market. Because of this, prices are down for solar panels. So if you're thinking of upgrading your house, now would be the time to do it!
4) Mushroom Insulation
Seeing as how this is the Impractical Green Resource, I really wanted to put something bizarre on this list. Eben Bayer and Gavin McIntyre, two "innovators" who met at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, have "come up" with a "new" way to insulate your home. They're working on a substitute for the traditional plastic and fiberglass based insulation. And it's made out of mushroom proteins. Hm, doesn't that sound familiar??? Green Tip #48 encouraged people to eat a mushroom protein based turkey substitute (sorry, I guess that ruins the surprise of what mycoprotein is...) and Green Tips #45 and #6 encourage people to stuff extra food into their walls. I'm sure half of my walls are filled with mushroom insulation already! Nice try, guys... I'm way ahead of you.
5) Pop (Soda/Coke) Bottle Christmas Trees
Okay, you have to do a search for these. They are so cool. This probably isn't exclusive to 2009, but I heard about it first in 2009, so that's why it's on this list. You take green, sugary, carbonated beverage (to avoid regional dialect differences) containers and string them together to make a Christmas (or President's Day) Tree! You can reuse your old cans and save from cutting down a tree every year! (Not that you'd need to if you followed Green Tip #58 anyway...)
Well, thanks for reading everyone! It's been a great year and I look forward to 2010! Keep up the fight against Global Warming and I'll see you next year!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Christmas Special Green Tip #60: Gift Wrapping (or Lack Therof)
As sad as it is to admit it, we've come to the end of the Christmas Special week. It's been so much fun sharing holiday Green Tips with you, but all good things must come to an end. And instead of sharing a fun, witty, insightful holiday Green Tip with you today, I think it would be more fitting if I just talked about the magical spirit that's in the air this time of year. You see, it's not just about commercialism and pretending that the true meaning of the holidays is environmental responsibility in order to promote your blog. It's about spending time with family and-
Shoot!!! I forgot to finish my Christmas shopping!!!! Outta my way!! I need to get to Wal-Mart!
Say, that gives me an idea for a Green Tip #60. Guys, I'm looking more at you than the women on this one. I hate to stereotype, but you know it's true. How often have you forgot to buy something for a loved one's birthday or anniversary or Christmas or bat mitzvah? Well, when you inevitably end up running out the morning of to grab the nearest thing from the shelf of the gas station down the street, you can at least pass it off a little better by following Green Tip #60.
If you don't wrap the present because you got it at the last minute, now you have the valid excuse that it saves paper! She'll never figure out you got it that day. So with this Green Tip and Green Tip #23, you should be off the hook for a really long time.
An alternative to this that was suggested to me by my brother is to wrap your presents in other presents. He suggested wrapping things like movies and games in things like shirts and coats. I say that it would be even better if you do the other way around. If you manage to stuff a shirt into a DVD case, think of all the space you'll save under the tree!
Well, before I head out to the store to finish my shopping, let me say that I hope you have a Merry Christmas and I'll see you next week where I'll be recapping some of the environmental stories of 2009!
Shoot!!! I forgot to finish my Christmas shopping!!!! Outta my way!! I need to get to Wal-Mart!
Say, that gives me an idea for a Green Tip #60. Guys, I'm looking more at you than the women on this one. I hate to stereotype, but you know it's true. How often have you forgot to buy something for a loved one's birthday or anniversary or Christmas or bat mitzvah? Well, when you inevitably end up running out the morning of to grab the nearest thing from the shelf of the gas station down the street, you can at least pass it off a little better by following Green Tip #60.
If you don't wrap the present because you got it at the last minute, now you have the valid excuse that it saves paper! She'll never figure out you got it that day. So with this Green Tip and Green Tip #23, you should be off the hook for a really long time.
An alternative to this that was suggested to me by my brother is to wrap your presents in other presents. He suggested wrapping things like movies and games in things like shirts and coats. I say that it would be even better if you do the other way around. If you manage to stuff a shirt into a DVD case, think of all the space you'll save under the tree!
Well, before I head out to the store to finish my shopping, let me say that I hope you have a Merry Christmas and I'll see you next week where I'll be recapping some of the environmental stories of 2009!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Christmas Special Green Tip #59: Christmas Cookies
Alright, let's cut to the chase. Don't even bother trying to deny it, you and I both know that when you're making Christmas cookies (or any cookies for that matter), you lick the bowl when you're done. Or if not that than the spoon or the mixers. Or if not that than all of the above. Raw cookie dough is just so amazing to eat and despite numerous health warnings telling us how bad raw eggs and such are for you, we all do it. I like to look at it this way: in the original Rocky movie, when Rocky is training he drinks a cup of raw eggs. A cup! Of raw eggs! Although he did (SPOILER ALERT) lose the match at the end to Apollo, so maybe eggs were to blame for that. But eating raw eggs sure didn't kill him, as evidenced by him going on to make five more movies.
Where am I going with all of this? Well, assuming that you're not planning on fighting Apollo Creed anytime soon, I don't see what the big deal is in eating cookie dough with raw eggs in it. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that raw cookie dough is almost better than baked cookies. I mean, which is more popular, cookie dough ice cream or cookie ice cream?
So Green Tip #59 is this: Don't Bake Your Christmas Cookies. As amazing as cookie dough is, I'm sure that nobody will complain when you serve them lumps of cold cookie dough shaped into snowmen and Christmas trees (or the Presidential Seal if you want to continue with yesterday's fantasy). Not only will this save you the time it takes to bake all of your cookies, this will cut down on the amount of gas or electricity that it takes you to run your oven.
So think about Mother Nature this year before you stick those cookies into the oven. Hm, actually that gives me an idea. What if Rocky opens a bakery in the seventh Rocky movie? I'll have to talk to MGM about that....
Where am I going with all of this? Well, assuming that you're not planning on fighting Apollo Creed anytime soon, I don't see what the big deal is in eating cookie dough with raw eggs in it. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that raw cookie dough is almost better than baked cookies. I mean, which is more popular, cookie dough ice cream or cookie ice cream?
So Green Tip #59 is this: Don't Bake Your Christmas Cookies. As amazing as cookie dough is, I'm sure that nobody will complain when you serve them lumps of cold cookie dough shaped into snowmen and Christmas trees (or the Presidential Seal if you want to continue with yesterday's fantasy). Not only will this save you the time it takes to bake all of your cookies, this will cut down on the amount of gas or electricity that it takes you to run your oven.
So think about Mother Nature this year before you stick those cookies into the oven. Hm, actually that gives me an idea. What if Rocky opens a bakery in the seventh Rocky movie? I'll have to talk to MGM about that....
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Christmas Special Green Tip #58: Christmas Trees
Welcome back! I hope your bundled up and staying warm during this first full day of winter. Today I'll be talking about ways to be a little more environmentally friendly when it comes to decorating for the Christmas season. This may be already too late to share Green Tip #58 as Christmas is just 3 days away and if you haven't picked out your tree yet, you'll probably end up with a tree that will make the Charlie Brown tree look like the one in Rockefeller Center. So make sure to file away what I'm saying here until next year and remember to keep it in mind come next November.
All throughout history, the dominant way of doing something has been unseated by a new technological or societal advancement. Consider how telegraphs were rendered obsolete by the popularity of the US Postal Service. In recent years mail volumes have dropped due to the rise of fax and e-mail. Or consider how long distance passenger trains in the US have become a thing of the past due to the highway system and airline travel. Finally, think of how in the coming century, coal and gas power will be replaced with solar, wind and nuclear power.
Now I'm not saying that what I'm about to propose is as groundbreaking as airline travel or e-mail. I mean we're only talking about Christmas trees here. But in order to make Green Tip #58 seem more significant, I'm going to create a metaphor comparing Christmas trees to the automotive industry.
If you can recall, during the 60's and 70's, there were really only three choices when it came to what kinds of cars Americans could buy. Ford (real evergreen trees) General Motors (artificial trees) or the less popular Chrysler (don't celebrate Christmas). This system worked well. Nobody complained that the cars were all of very poor quality and were really bad for the environment (just like cutting down trees every year or manufacturing artificial trees). It was just the way the system was and nobody thought to challenge the status quo.
Until Japan decided to throw its hat into the ring. During the 80's, along came Toyota and Honda with a new line of cars that had very few defects and were much more customizable. Suddenly everyone wanted one and just a few years ago, Toyota passed up GM as the largest car company in the world. This story is legendary among engineering and business classes and is used as an example of how making things better can completely shake up the industry.
Well what is the Christmas tree equivalent to this story? No, not import your trees from Japan (if you think that you missed the point of the metaphor). Instead what I suggest is that you just dig a hole in your living room and plant the tree right there. You get all the benefits of having a live tree (yummy Christmas-y smell, for example) without the lameness of an artificial tree. And even better is that it will be around every year! You'll never have to cut down another tree! And you don't have to water it! AND it will filter out all that carbon dioxide you're exhaling and release more oxygen!
Now it does get a little tricky when it comes to what to do if you have downstairs neighbors. You'll just have to arrange something with them so that you just get a bigger tree and you'll just have the top part sticking up into your place and they take the middle and bottom parts. They'll understand when they'll have to give up putting an angel on the top.
And you have the issue of it being there year round. You never know, this might start a new set of traditions. I can just imagine the kids walking up on President's Day morning to rush downstairs and find the presents that George Washington left under the President's Day Tree. I can't wait to go caroling with songs set to the tune of 'Hail to the Chief' and setting up my Obama and Nixon nutcrackers. And what about a remake of 'A Christmas Story' where a young Lincoln wants a BB gun but his mom says no because he'll shoot his eye out...
Oh. Um. Sorry. Too soon?
All throughout history, the dominant way of doing something has been unseated by a new technological or societal advancement. Consider how telegraphs were rendered obsolete by the popularity of the US Postal Service. In recent years mail volumes have dropped due to the rise of fax and e-mail. Or consider how long distance passenger trains in the US have become a thing of the past due to the highway system and airline travel. Finally, think of how in the coming century, coal and gas power will be replaced with solar, wind and nuclear power.
Now I'm not saying that what I'm about to propose is as groundbreaking as airline travel or e-mail. I mean we're only talking about Christmas trees here. But in order to make Green Tip #58 seem more significant, I'm going to create a metaphor comparing Christmas trees to the automotive industry.
If you can recall, during the 60's and 70's, there were really only three choices when it came to what kinds of cars Americans could buy. Ford (real evergreen trees) General Motors (artificial trees) or the less popular Chrysler (don't celebrate Christmas). This system worked well. Nobody complained that the cars were all of very poor quality and were really bad for the environment (just like cutting down trees every year or manufacturing artificial trees). It was just the way the system was and nobody thought to challenge the status quo.
Until Japan decided to throw its hat into the ring. During the 80's, along came Toyota and Honda with a new line of cars that had very few defects and were much more customizable. Suddenly everyone wanted one and just a few years ago, Toyota passed up GM as the largest car company in the world. This story is legendary among engineering and business classes and is used as an example of how making things better can completely shake up the industry.
Well what is the Christmas tree equivalent to this story? No, not import your trees from Japan (if you think that you missed the point of the metaphor). Instead what I suggest is that you just dig a hole in your living room and plant the tree right there. You get all the benefits of having a live tree (yummy Christmas-y smell, for example) without the lameness of an artificial tree. And even better is that it will be around every year! You'll never have to cut down another tree! And you don't have to water it! AND it will filter out all that carbon dioxide you're exhaling and release more oxygen!
Now it does get a little tricky when it comes to what to do if you have downstairs neighbors. You'll just have to arrange something with them so that you just get a bigger tree and you'll just have the top part sticking up into your place and they take the middle and bottom parts. They'll understand when they'll have to give up putting an angel on the top.
And you have the issue of it being there year round. You never know, this might start a new set of traditions. I can just imagine the kids walking up on President's Day morning to rush downstairs and find the presents that George Washington left under the President's Day Tree. I can't wait to go caroling with songs set to the tune of 'Hail to the Chief' and setting up my Obama and Nixon nutcrackers. And what about a remake of 'A Christmas Story' where a young Lincoln wants a BB gun but his mom says no because he'll shoot his eye out...
Oh. Um. Sorry. Too soon?
Monday, December 21, 2009
Christmas Special Green Tip #57: The True Meaning of the Holidays
Merry Christmas week everyone! I hope you enjoy this week's special 4 part series about environmentally friendly Christmas ideas. I figured that I would start the week off with a look into the real meaning behind the traditions associated with the season.
Far too often, we get caught up in the commercialized, stressful, meaningless practices and forget that there is a very important lesson to be learned. As we gather together with our friends and families, let us not worry about who bought presents for whom or whether the ham is cooked right or that if you see that stupid beer commercial with the guy who puts lights in his palm tree one more year in a row you'll go crazy and throw the Christmas tree through the window. No, let us instead remember that the true meaning of Christmas is fighting Global Warming.
"Wait. What?" you're probably asking. Well, probably not. After 56 Green Tips, you've probably figured out where I was going with this one before you even started writing this one. But you probably are asking "Wait. How?" Well, once I explain it to you, you'll see just how obvious all of the symbolism really is.
Let's start with Santa. Santa is the model of Green Living. Everything he does is just so environmentally friendly. He employs elves to do his work instead of automating the process which saves electricity. He uses magical reindeer instead of taking an airplane to save on fuel consumption. He very clearly endorses the use of fireplaces to heat your home which saves on natural gas or coal use.
But most importantly of all, he makes a bold statement working out of the North Pole. Al Gore recently said that the polar ice caps could completely melt within ten years because of Global Warming. Well Santa just won't stand for it. His refusal to move to a warmer climate is a bold challenge to the world. "If you pollute, you clearly hate Christmas," is what he's saying. Think about that next time you forget to recycle your plastic bottles. You might as well just punch the Easter Bunny in the nose next time you leave your A/C on too high.
In related ideas, Hanukkah. I don't want my Jewish friends to feel left out of the picture. This holiday is just as important at spreading the message of being green. For those of you that don't know, Hanukkah is celebrated to remember the time when the Jerusalem temple was running low on holy candle oil to praise God with. They only had one day's worth of oil left and they didn't want the candles to go out. But that one day's worth of oil ended up lasting them for eight days, which was a long enough time for them to make more oil.
This clearly has a Green message to it. Candle oil that uses 1/8th the amount of energy? That sounds familiar. It sounds like the ancient Jews were the first ones to design the CFL (the energy efficient spiral lightbulbs). If I were the high priest in charge of the Jewish temple, I'd look into getting that place LEED certified (look it up) because I think they've got a shot at going for platinum.
So you can see that there are environmental messages behind every tradition that we hold dear to us during this season. Don't forget to come back tomorrow, but until then, keep dreaming of a Green Christmas!
Far too often, we get caught up in the commercialized, stressful, meaningless practices and forget that there is a very important lesson to be learned. As we gather together with our friends and families, let us not worry about who bought presents for whom or whether the ham is cooked right or that if you see that stupid beer commercial with the guy who puts lights in his palm tree one more year in a row you'll go crazy and throw the Christmas tree through the window. No, let us instead remember that the true meaning of Christmas is fighting Global Warming.
"Wait. What?" you're probably asking. Well, probably not. After 56 Green Tips, you've probably figured out where I was going with this one before you even started writing this one. But you probably are asking "Wait. How?" Well, once I explain it to you, you'll see just how obvious all of the symbolism really is.
Let's start with Santa. Santa is the model of Green Living. Everything he does is just so environmentally friendly. He employs elves to do his work instead of automating the process which saves electricity. He uses magical reindeer instead of taking an airplane to save on fuel consumption. He very clearly endorses the use of fireplaces to heat your home which saves on natural gas or coal use.
But most importantly of all, he makes a bold statement working out of the North Pole. Al Gore recently said that the polar ice caps could completely melt within ten years because of Global Warming. Well Santa just won't stand for it. His refusal to move to a warmer climate is a bold challenge to the world. "If you pollute, you clearly hate Christmas," is what he's saying. Think about that next time you forget to recycle your plastic bottles. You might as well just punch the Easter Bunny in the nose next time you leave your A/C on too high.
In related ideas, Hanukkah. I don't want my Jewish friends to feel left out of the picture. This holiday is just as important at spreading the message of being green. For those of you that don't know, Hanukkah is celebrated to remember the time when the Jerusalem temple was running low on holy candle oil to praise God with. They only had one day's worth of oil left and they didn't want the candles to go out. But that one day's worth of oil ended up lasting them for eight days, which was a long enough time for them to make more oil.
This clearly has a Green message to it. Candle oil that uses 1/8th the amount of energy? That sounds familiar. It sounds like the ancient Jews were the first ones to design the CFL (the energy efficient spiral lightbulbs). If I were the high priest in charge of the Jewish temple, I'd look into getting that place LEED certified (look it up) because I think they've got a shot at going for platinum.
So you can see that there are environmental messages behind every tradition that we hold dear to us during this season. Don't forget to come back tomorrow, but until then, keep dreaming of a Green Christmas!
Friday, December 18, 2009
Green Tip #56: Night Vision
This one won't be too long, but before you get all upset, I'm going to be making up for it next week. Like I did with Thanksgiving, I'll be posting a special four part series about Christmas (and Hanukkah to a lesser extent)! Starting Monday and running through Thursday, I'll be posting four ways to make sure that you have a Green Holiday Season! So don't forget to check back in a day early next week to get all the latest Green Tips!
Anyway, on to Green Tip #56. This one will be very much similar to Green Tip #7, only much more high tech. For those of you that remember (or have just read by following the link), Green Tip #7 discussed how we can cut down on the number of lights that we use by everyone wearing the helmets with the lights on them, just like miners do. Well, I think it's about time we took that one step further.
While Green Tip #7 was a good start, we'd still have to deal with the electricity that's used to run the headlamps. What if instead we all had night vision goggles? Obviously we'd only need them at night or on cloudy days, but just think of all the electricity we'd be saving! No more street lights or car headlights or electronic billboards. There might be one huge downside, though. Usually night vision is monochromatic, either everything you see is shades of gray or green. And that would make traffic lights awfully difficult to see and understand. Hm, maybe there is such a thing as something being too Green (pun intended).
Anyway, on to Green Tip #56. This one will be very much similar to Green Tip #7, only much more high tech. For those of you that remember (or have just read by following the link), Green Tip #7 discussed how we can cut down on the number of lights that we use by everyone wearing the helmets with the lights on them, just like miners do. Well, I think it's about time we took that one step further.
While Green Tip #7 was a good start, we'd still have to deal with the electricity that's used to run the headlamps. What if instead we all had night vision goggles? Obviously we'd only need them at night or on cloudy days, but just think of all the electricity we'd be saving! No more street lights or car headlights or electronic billboards. There might be one huge downside, though. Usually night vision is monochromatic, either everything you see is shades of gray or green. And that would make traffic lights awfully difficult to see and understand. Hm, maybe there is such a thing as something being too Green (pun intended).
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Green Tip #55: Super Re-Size Me
Now let me just restate my previous claim that any and all specific or unspecific references to McDonald's or other fast food restaurants is not intended to be a jab at any of them but the fast food industry in general. All of the recommendations that I make can be applied to any of the leading fast food chains.
That being said, I've mentioned before about how McDonald's use of large restaurants is taking up more land that could be used for green spaces or solar panels fields or other such things. Well luckily for McDonald's and other large-stored fast food chains, there is something they can do to be a bit more environmentally friendly.
Green Tip #55 is that fast food should be re-sized. I'm not saying that they should be smaller portions or anything like that. That wouldn't be fair to the customers. No, these chains should cut down on their packaging by fitting the larger food items into the smaller packaging.
Next time you find yourself feasting on fast food french fries, take a look at how much space is taken up by air in the packaging. Now imagine if all that empty space was taken out. All of that paper and cardboard and other stuff that's used to hold the food can be saved from going in a landfill somewhere.
Okay, yes, it might be a little gross if you order french fries and get a smashed up ball of artificial potatoes, grease and salt, but think of it like a hash brown. It's basically the same thing. But if all of the food fits in the same smaller packaging, we can't go around calling it small, medium, large, gigundo, etc. Instead we'll have to call it by its density. "I'll have the compact size" or "I'll have the loose combo meal." It'll take some getting used to, but sometimes being green means making sacrifices.
That being said, I've mentioned before about how McDonald's use of large restaurants is taking up more land that could be used for green spaces or solar panels fields or other such things. Well luckily for McDonald's and other large-stored fast food chains, there is something they can do to be a bit more environmentally friendly.
Green Tip #55 is that fast food should be re-sized. I'm not saying that they should be smaller portions or anything like that. That wouldn't be fair to the customers. No, these chains should cut down on their packaging by fitting the larger food items into the smaller packaging.
Next time you find yourself feasting on fast food french fries, take a look at how much space is taken up by air in the packaging. Now imagine if all that empty space was taken out. All of that paper and cardboard and other stuff that's used to hold the food can be saved from going in a landfill somewhere.
Okay, yes, it might be a little gross if you order french fries and get a smashed up ball of artificial potatoes, grease and salt, but think of it like a hash brown. It's basically the same thing. But if all of the food fits in the same smaller packaging, we can't go around calling it small, medium, large, gigundo, etc. Instead we'll have to call it by its density. "I'll have the compact size" or "I'll have the loose combo meal." It'll take some getting used to, but sometimes being green means making sacrifices.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Green Tip #54: Extra Liquids
Well, today's Green Tip will be a little unusual. But not to worry, I've long believed that the IGR has been based off of unusuality, so this should be nothing new.
One of the problems that will plague not only the US, but all countries across the world is the problem of shortages of water supplies. In fact, some estimates say that 1 billion people today do not have access to clean drinking water. That's almost one sixth of the population of the world. And if Global Warming kicks in, that number will rise to unmanageable numbers. So anything we can do to reduce the amount of water we use, the better off we'll be in the future.
So here's my proposition: what if we used only recycled water and other liquids for our toilets? I mean, do you really need clean water to pee in? (Ideally you'd be peeing in your shower, but this is just in case you don't) If we could make toilets that are designed to run only on leftover liquids, think of all the water we could save!
Okay, picture this. You're getting ready for bed but you want to indulge in a little guilty pleasure before you go to sleep. So you get your favorite cookies and a nice tall glass of milk. Well, due to the intense pressures you're under having to write a funny, yet informative blog twice a week, you end up passing out before you can finish your glass of milk. First of all, that's just gross. Think how bad your mouth will be in the morning because you didn't brush your teeth before you went to bed! And you'll also have to do something with that extra milk that was out all night. Assuming it's not too gross, just toss it in the john.
Or how about this. You decide to get sushi with your girlfriend to kick off a study party at your place and you decide that you want to try sake. Well, you, being the cheap person you are, get the cheap sake and find out it's just too gross to drink. Instead of pouring it out in the sink or just forcing it down, why not pour it in the toilet?
I think you get the point I'm making. It may sound weird, but it is a great way to cut down on the amount of water that you're just flushing down the toilet, literally.
Oh, and that link from forever ago will finally work now...
One of the problems that will plague not only the US, but all countries across the world is the problem of shortages of water supplies. In fact, some estimates say that 1 billion people today do not have access to clean drinking water. That's almost one sixth of the population of the world. And if Global Warming kicks in, that number will rise to unmanageable numbers. So anything we can do to reduce the amount of water we use, the better off we'll be in the future.
So here's my proposition: what if we used only recycled water and other liquids for our toilets? I mean, do you really need clean water to pee in? (Ideally you'd be peeing in your shower, but this is just in case you don't) If we could make toilets that are designed to run only on leftover liquids, think of all the water we could save!
Okay, picture this. You're getting ready for bed but you want to indulge in a little guilty pleasure before you go to sleep. So you get your favorite cookies and a nice tall glass of milk. Well, due to the intense pressures you're under having to write a funny, yet informative blog twice a week, you end up passing out before you can finish your glass of milk. First of all, that's just gross. Think how bad your mouth will be in the morning because you didn't brush your teeth before you went to bed! And you'll also have to do something with that extra milk that was out all night. Assuming it's not too gross, just toss it in the john.
Or how about this. You decide to get sushi with your girlfriend to kick off a study party at your place and you decide that you want to try sake. Well, you, being the cheap person you are, get the cheap sake and find out it's just too gross to drink. Instead of pouring it out in the sink or just forcing it down, why not pour it in the toilet?
I think you get the point I'm making. It may sound weird, but it is a great way to cut down on the amount of water that you're just flushing down the toilet, literally.
Oh, and that link from forever ago will finally work now...
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Green Tip #53: Global Warming is Good, Part 2
I think it is especially poignant that I talk more about Global Warming this week for two reasons. First of all, yesterday was the first day that it snowed here in Northwest Ohio which is a good sign. I can only assume that we’ve won the War on Global Warming, otherwise I’d be out sunbathing instead of bundled up in my sweatshirt and blankets.
The other reason that I feel it’s appropriate to write about Global Warming today is that world leaders are meeting in Europe this week to talk about what countries can do to combat Climate Change. This is a bad sign, which means that we probably haven’t won the War on Global Warming. Dang! I thought the snow was a good sign. Hm, maybe Global Warming is just hibernating this winter so it can make a fierce comeback this spring. We’ll just assume that Global Warming is still out there otherwise I wouldn’t have anything to write in the Impractical Green Resource.
Anyway, I don’t see why the world leaders need to meet to figure things out. I mean, I’ve given the world 52+ very helpful Green Tips that should’ve fixed things by now. I can only assume that people in other countries can’t read English and the IGR is doing them little good. Hm, I knew I should’ve learned Chinese.
But if Global Warming is inevitable, we might as well at least look for a silver lining of the whole situation. So I was reading about how the ice sheets in Greenland and Antarctica are melting more and more each summer. At first I was horrified about rising sea levels and disrupting the oceanic currents. Then I read about how droughts were likely to increase in severity and frequency as the global temperature rises. That’s when I had my epiphany!
If all that fresh water is dumped into the oceans, the overall salinity of the ocean water will decrease (the oceans won’t be so salty). And less salty water is easier to convert to fresh water than more salty water. Ta Da! We can just convert sea water into drinkable water to solve the droughts!
Yes, it’s true, changing the oceans from salt water to fresh water will probably kill off thousands of species of fish and coral and plankton, but you know what? People won’t miss them that much. All of the fish that we eat now can be put into fisheries and the rest are probably weird and gross anyway.
The other reason that I feel it’s appropriate to write about Global Warming today is that world leaders are meeting in Europe this week to talk about what countries can do to combat Climate Change. This is a bad sign, which means that we probably haven’t won the War on Global Warming. Dang! I thought the snow was a good sign. Hm, maybe Global Warming is just hibernating this winter so it can make a fierce comeback this spring. We’ll just assume that Global Warming is still out there otherwise I wouldn’t have anything to write in the Impractical Green Resource.
Anyway, I don’t see why the world leaders need to meet to figure things out. I mean, I’ve given the world 52+ very helpful Green Tips that should’ve fixed things by now. I can only assume that people in other countries can’t read English and the IGR is doing them little good. Hm, I knew I should’ve learned Chinese.
But if Global Warming is inevitable, we might as well at least look for a silver lining of the whole situation. So I was reading about how the ice sheets in Greenland and Antarctica are melting more and more each summer. At first I was horrified about rising sea levels and disrupting the oceanic currents. Then I read about how droughts were likely to increase in severity and frequency as the global temperature rises. That’s when I had my epiphany!
If all that fresh water is dumped into the oceans, the overall salinity of the ocean water will decrease (the oceans won’t be so salty). And less salty water is easier to convert to fresh water than more salty water. Ta Da! We can just convert sea water into drinkable water to solve the droughts!
Yes, it’s true, changing the oceans from salt water to fresh water will probably kill off thousands of species of fish and coral and plankton, but you know what? People won’t miss them that much. All of the fish that we eat now can be put into fisheries and the rest are probably weird and gross anyway.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Green Tip #52: Rain Turbines
This is another one of those Green Tips that might actually be more on the "Green" side than the "Impractical" side. Yeah, I know I'm supposed to be giving tips that aren't useful for the every day person, but sometimes one or two slip through the crack and might actually help the environment. Don't hold it against me, please...
A few days ago, it was raining really hard here in Toledo. And as I was walking to my class and getting completely soaked, I was growing more and more miserable. To make things worse, I had a presentation to give that night and I was wearing dressier clothes and I hate getting my nice pants soaking wet. That and I wasted more electricity to run the hand dryer in order to dry my pants off. I felt like I had betrayed Mother Nature by wasting electricity.
But all of a sudden, I saw the silver lining on the clouds! Not literally, mind you. I was way too dark by then for there to be even a trace of any lining on the clouds, let alone a silver one. What if there was a way to harness the power of the rain in the same way that people harness wind or tidal forces? I don't have the technical expertise to figure out the details of it, but wouldn't it be possible to have a vertical axis wind turbine that runs when it's windy but catches the rain and is pushed even harder, thus generating more electricity?
That's just my theory. It wouldn't be good for a steady source of power because of how unpredictable the rainfall would be, but it would supplement the energy generated by the wind turbines. Furthermore, couldn't you put turbines on the gutters to generate electricity as the water flows down into the yard?
If someone knows about something like this that already exists, let me know. Or if it doesn't exist but you have an idea of how it could be made, go ahead and come up with a prototype. It would be relatively simple to install. Now from now on whenever it rains, it doesn't have to be such a depressing event! If only there were something to do about snow...
A few days ago, it was raining really hard here in Toledo. And as I was walking to my class and getting completely soaked, I was growing more and more miserable. To make things worse, I had a presentation to give that night and I was wearing dressier clothes and I hate getting my nice pants soaking wet. That and I wasted more electricity to run the hand dryer in order to dry my pants off. I felt like I had betrayed Mother Nature by wasting electricity.
But all of a sudden, I saw the silver lining on the clouds! Not literally, mind you. I was way too dark by then for there to be even a trace of any lining on the clouds, let alone a silver one. What if there was a way to harness the power of the rain in the same way that people harness wind or tidal forces? I don't have the technical expertise to figure out the details of it, but wouldn't it be possible to have a vertical axis wind turbine that runs when it's windy but catches the rain and is pushed even harder, thus generating more electricity?
That's just my theory. It wouldn't be good for a steady source of power because of how unpredictable the rainfall would be, but it would supplement the energy generated by the wind turbines. Furthermore, couldn't you put turbines on the gutters to generate electricity as the water flows down into the yard?
If someone knows about something like this that already exists, let me know. Or if it doesn't exist but you have an idea of how it could be made, go ahead and come up with a prototype. It would be relatively simple to install. Now from now on whenever it rains, it doesn't have to be such a depressing event! If only there were something to do about snow...
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Green Tip #51: Lower the Volume
Sssshhh! You'll have to be really quiet while reading this because I won't be able to hear the TV. And don't question the logic of that sentence. I know it doesn't make sense. Just to warn you, this entry might not even make sense at all. But back to the TV.
So, those of you that know anything about physics knows that sound is just vibrations in the air (or water, but I shouldn't have to tell you not to watch TV underwater). Well, in order to make the air vibrate, some energy has to be expended to start the vibration. And of course it takes more energy to make the air vibrate more. So logically, a TV would use less energy if the volume is turned down, right?
Well, this got me thinking. So if you're watching TV and the volume's turned way down, that means that other things will have to be turned down as well if you want to hear your TV. Things like music playing on your computer or radio, the alarm on your microwave or kitchen timers, even your cell phone ringtones. This whole Green Tip just keeps snowballing. Think of all the electricity we could save if we cut the volume of our lives in half!
But wait! In order to be able to hear everything going on, we'll have to be even quieter when we talk. And although I've never heard of anyone who got physically tired from yelling too loud or singing too loud, I can assume that it does take more energy out of you by talking louder. You also use up more oxygen by breathing more, so that could cut down on the amount of carbon dioxide that we're releasing.
Now, if only we could fix nature to not be so loud. Things like storms, crickets, earthquakes, birds and lions are all notoriously loud but there's nothing we can do to quiet them down. Although there have been advances in genetic engineering recently. Hm....
So, those of you that know anything about physics knows that sound is just vibrations in the air (or water, but I shouldn't have to tell you not to watch TV underwater). Well, in order to make the air vibrate, some energy has to be expended to start the vibration. And of course it takes more energy to make the air vibrate more. So logically, a TV would use less energy if the volume is turned down, right?
Well, this got me thinking. So if you're watching TV and the volume's turned way down, that means that other things will have to be turned down as well if you want to hear your TV. Things like music playing on your computer or radio, the alarm on your microwave or kitchen timers, even your cell phone ringtones. This whole Green Tip just keeps snowballing. Think of all the electricity we could save if we cut the volume of our lives in half!
But wait! In order to be able to hear everything going on, we'll have to be even quieter when we talk. And although I've never heard of anyone who got physically tired from yelling too loud or singing too loud, I can assume that it does take more energy out of you by talking louder. You also use up more oxygen by breathing more, so that could cut down on the amount of carbon dioxide that we're releasing.
Now, if only we could fix nature to not be so loud. Things like storms, crickets, earthquakes, birds and lions are all notoriously loud but there's nothing we can do to quiet them down. Although there have been advances in genetic engineering recently. Hm....
Friday, November 27, 2009
Thanksgiving Special Green Tip #50: Green Football
It gives me great pleasure to be able to bring to you two very special things in this very blog entry. First of all, it's the Fiftieth Green Tip! It seems like just yesterday that I was telling everyone that they should hitchhike so they don't breathe out as much carbon dioxide. Oh, those were the good ole days.
And secondly, it's the fourth part of my four part series on how to celebrate Thanksgiving in a Green way! Today I'll be talking about one of America's great pastimes: football. Now, football as a sport is not necessarily a Brown activity. Yes, it's true that the ball is usually leather and leather making is not necessarily the most environmentally process, but I'd be willing to overlook that for today. No, I'm not here to try to fix the sport. After all, it does encourage open green spaces that use real grass (at the high school level) and I can't complain about more grass being planted.
No, what Green Tip #50 deals with is the much less active activity of watching football. It's no secret that TV's use electricity (if that is news to you, we need to sit down and have a long talk). Sometimes they use too much electricity, some lawmakers in California have even said by passing a law putting efficiency limits on TV's in the state. When you consider how long some football games go, the amount of electricity that's being used can really add up. And think about how many times you've fallen asleep during a particularly boring game after eating way too much turkey. That's another few hours of the TV being on.
So what are your options? I mean, you can't miss the big game, can you?? No! And it's just not the same watching the scores update on your computer (like I'm doing with the Toledo-Bowling Green game. Go Rockets!) And radios are so 40 years ago. Next time you want to watch the big game, here's what you do. Go dust off that old hand crank powered radio and get 22 of your best friends together and have them reenact the game as it's going. It shouldn't be too hard for them. And besides, if you're a Cleveland Browns fan, your friends will probably be better players than your favorite professional players. (Sorry, I know taking shots at a team that is 1-9 right now is a little cheap. But they lost to the Detroit Lions. The Lions!)
Anyway, this one's a bit short because I'm still worn out from my early morning shopping. I'll be back to my regular Tuesday-Friday schedule starting next week. And hopefully you enjoyed the double dose of Green Tips because I'll probably do this again around Christmastime. Have a safe trip home! (Or not if you decided to stay in and spend the holidays with your robot clone family.)
And secondly, it's the fourth part of my four part series on how to celebrate Thanksgiving in a Green way! Today I'll be talking about one of America's great pastimes: football. Now, football as a sport is not necessarily a Brown activity. Yes, it's true that the ball is usually leather and leather making is not necessarily the most environmentally process, but I'd be willing to overlook that for today. No, I'm not here to try to fix the sport. After all, it does encourage open green spaces that use real grass (at the high school level) and I can't complain about more grass being planted.
No, what Green Tip #50 deals with is the much less active activity of watching football. It's no secret that TV's use electricity (if that is news to you, we need to sit down and have a long talk). Sometimes they use too much electricity, some lawmakers in California have even said by passing a law putting efficiency limits on TV's in the state. When you consider how long some football games go, the amount of electricity that's being used can really add up. And think about how many times you've fallen asleep during a particularly boring game after eating way too much turkey. That's another few hours of the TV being on.
So what are your options? I mean, you can't miss the big game, can you?? No! And it's just not the same watching the scores update on your computer (like I'm doing with the Toledo-Bowling Green game. Go Rockets!) And radios are so 40 years ago. Next time you want to watch the big game, here's what you do. Go dust off that old hand crank powered radio and get 22 of your best friends together and have them reenact the game as it's going. It shouldn't be too hard for them. And besides, if you're a Cleveland Browns fan, your friends will probably be better players than your favorite professional players. (Sorry, I know taking shots at a team that is 1-9 right now is a little cheap. But they lost to the Detroit Lions. The Lions!)
Anyway, this one's a bit short because I'm still worn out from my early morning shopping. I'll be back to my regular Tuesday-Friday schedule starting next week. And hopefully you enjoyed the double dose of Green Tips because I'll probably do this again around Christmastime. Have a safe trip home! (Or not if you decided to stay in and spend the holidays with your robot clone family.)
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Thanksgiving Special Green Tip #49: Green Holiday Shopping
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Let's get right into Green Tip #49 because I know you'd rather spend time with friends and loved ones.
Tomorrow Americans partake in a time honored tradition that truly embodies the spirit of the American culture: getting up really early and waiting in line in freezing temperatures to save an extra $10 on a pair of jeans. While I'm sure that you can find other blogs that will give you some tips on what to buy in order to be an environmentally responsible shopper, The Impractical Green Resource is not other blogs. No, I'd like to give some tips on how to make your Black Friday shopping experience as Green as possible.
First off, you're going to want to address the issue of waiting in line in the cold. While it might not necessarily be freezing where you live, it's a safe bet that wherever you are, it's not exactly going to be very warm in late November at 3 AM. Some people bring electric blankets, some use electric hand warmers, some have electric space heaters. I think you see where I'm going with this. We use electricity a lot for situations like this. Here's my suggestion on how to cut back on energy use. Go to the hospital, find someone with the flu, and try to catch it from him or her. If you get a fever, you'll be burning up and you won't need any electric heaters or anything.
Now, the type of disease you get doesn't matter that much. I'd suggest H1N1, just because it's so chic right now. And there's nothing more embarrassing than having last year's flu. You'd be so out of style.
Additional bonus: if you make it really obvious that you're highly contagious, you might just scare some people out of their coveted positions in line.
Another aspect of waiting in line for amazing deals is that some people (the diehards) will actually camp out days in advance. If you'd rather not waste gas by driving to some far off destination to go camping with your family, you can convince them that this is what you're doing. Just keep them in the tent the entire night and they might just believe that you actually went to North Dakota to go camping. Just say that there's a blizzard out and they can't leave the tent until the storm passes. Then when the store does open, sure they'll be mad, but they'll forget about how mad they are when you buy them a brand new Xbox.
So that about wraps it up for now. Don't forget to come back tomorrow and I'll talk about a Green alternative to watching football all weekend.
Tomorrow Americans partake in a time honored tradition that truly embodies the spirit of the American culture: getting up really early and waiting in line in freezing temperatures to save an extra $10 on a pair of jeans. While I'm sure that you can find other blogs that will give you some tips on what to buy in order to be an environmentally responsible shopper, The Impractical Green Resource is not other blogs. No, I'd like to give some tips on how to make your Black Friday shopping experience as Green as possible.
First off, you're going to want to address the issue of waiting in line in the cold. While it might not necessarily be freezing where you live, it's a safe bet that wherever you are, it's not exactly going to be very warm in late November at 3 AM. Some people bring electric blankets, some use electric hand warmers, some have electric space heaters. I think you see where I'm going with this. We use electricity a lot for situations like this. Here's my suggestion on how to cut back on energy use. Go to the hospital, find someone with the flu, and try to catch it from him or her. If you get a fever, you'll be burning up and you won't need any electric heaters or anything.
Now, the type of disease you get doesn't matter that much. I'd suggest H1N1, just because it's so chic right now. And there's nothing more embarrassing than having last year's flu. You'd be so out of style.
Additional bonus: if you make it really obvious that you're highly contagious, you might just scare some people out of their coveted positions in line.
Another aspect of waiting in line for amazing deals is that some people (the diehards) will actually camp out days in advance. If you'd rather not waste gas by driving to some far off destination to go camping with your family, you can convince them that this is what you're doing. Just keep them in the tent the entire night and they might just believe that you actually went to North Dakota to go camping. Just say that there's a blizzard out and they can't leave the tent until the storm passes. Then when the store does open, sure they'll be mad, but they'll forget about how mad they are when you buy them a brand new Xbox.
So that about wraps it up for now. Don't forget to come back tomorrow and I'll talk about a Green alternative to watching football all weekend.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Thanksgiving Special Green Tip #48: Green Thanksgiving Dinner
Welcome back! It feels so weird to be writing this on a Wednesday. But climate change doesn't take a vacation, so neither should I. Today I'll be talking about something that is probably the essence of this holiday: overeating.
The IGR Green Food Axiom #1:
The Greener (or healthier) a food is, the worse it tastes. This can be seen in figure 1.
Figure 1
So what is the environmentally conscious chef to do when preparing a Thanksgiving meal but want people to be able to actually finish their meals? I like to use the rule of ten. Place your food on the line above and see what the Green Factor is. For example, let's look at organic mashed potatoes. You can see that the Green Factor for them is about a 35. Not too bad. Divide that 35 by 10 and you get 3.5. This is the ratio of gravy or sauce you want to use to drown out the bad taste. So use about 3 and a half times as much gravy as organic mashed potatoes and you're in good shape. Regular turkey falls at about a 1:1 ratio, which is pretty accurate.
Ah, mycoprotein turkey substitute. Let's address you for a minute. For those of you that have not heard of that, do yourself a favor and don't look it up. It's gross and that's all you need to know. Trust me. You're going to want to load that up with a 9:1 ratio of gravy to 'turkey.' And that might not even be enough. It's really up to you.
Let me give you a real example that comes from my experiences hanging out with the environmentally conscious crowd during my college career. I've had tofu and it was really gross. I mean, if you can't figure that out just from looking at it, you need help. But I found out that tofu chili is actually pretty good. The difference? The tomato sauce and cheese and other chili ingredients were probably in a 4 or 5 to 1 ratio with the tofu. See, the rule of ten works again!
Alright everyone, hopefully that will give you some ideas when you're preparing your dinner for tomorrow. If you're not passed out from eating too much, check back in tomorrow and I'll have some ideas for how to be environmentally friendly while shopping during Black Friday. Enjoy your days off and make sure you take a minute to remember how thankful you are for the things you have in your life, like headlamps and giant solar reflectors in Asia and robot clones of your family.
You've probably heard a lot about Green foods like free range beef and organic mashed potatoes and soy turkey and mycoprotein turkey and all that good. Well, there's a good thing and a bad thing about this whole organic food movement. The good thing is that they are usually much healthier than foods that are more Brown (not environmentally friendly). The bad thing is that they usually taste HORRIBLE! (oh, don't deny it you hippies) This can be illustrated by the following axiom:
The IGR Green Food Axiom #1:
The Greener (or healthier) a food is, the worse it tastes. This can be seen in figure 1.
Figure 1So what is the environmentally conscious chef to do when preparing a Thanksgiving meal but want people to be able to actually finish their meals? I like to use the rule of ten. Place your food on the line above and see what the Green Factor is. For example, let's look at organic mashed potatoes. You can see that the Green Factor for them is about a 35. Not too bad. Divide that 35 by 10 and you get 3.5. This is the ratio of gravy or sauce you want to use to drown out the bad taste. So use about 3 and a half times as much gravy as organic mashed potatoes and you're in good shape. Regular turkey falls at about a 1:1 ratio, which is pretty accurate.
Ah, mycoprotein turkey substitute. Let's address you for a minute. For those of you that have not heard of that, do yourself a favor and don't look it up. It's gross and that's all you need to know. Trust me. You're going to want to load that up with a 9:1 ratio of gravy to 'turkey.' And that might not even be enough. It's really up to you.
Let me give you a real example that comes from my experiences hanging out with the environmentally conscious crowd during my college career. I've had tofu and it was really gross. I mean, if you can't figure that out just from looking at it, you need help. But I found out that tofu chili is actually pretty good. The difference? The tomato sauce and cheese and other chili ingredients were probably in a 4 or 5 to 1 ratio with the tofu. See, the rule of ten works again!
Alright everyone, hopefully that will give you some ideas when you're preparing your dinner for tomorrow. If you're not passed out from eating too much, check back in tomorrow and I'll have some ideas for how to be environmentally friendly while shopping during Black Friday. Enjoy your days off and make sure you take a minute to remember how thankful you are for the things you have in your life, like headlamps and giant solar reflectors in Asia and robot clones of your family.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Thanksgiving Special Green Tip #47: Green Holiday Travel
*sniff sniff* Do you smell that? Ah yes, it's the smell of turkeys roasting in the oven and pumpkin pies.
Take that turkey out of the oven! You've still got two days! It'll be WAY overdone by Thanksgiving!
But that smell does mean that today is the first in my four part series about how to celebrate a Greener Thanksgiving! Today I'll be sharing with you my secrets for Greener Holiday Travel.
Now, if you're like me and most of the country, you live pretty far away from at least some members of your family. So whether they're coming in to visit you or you're going out of town to visit them, you can only imagine what kind of a toll this extra transportation will take on the environment. All that jet fuel burning or car exhaust or train smoke or whatnot. At the rate we're releasing carbon emissions all of the turkeys might be killed off by Global Warming by next Thanksgiving! So what's the best option for the environmentally conscious traveler? Trains? Buses? Carpooling?
Nope! It's to build robot clones of your loved ones! Now, I know it sounds crazy, but it might just work. Depending on how many you can afford, just select several of your favorite relatives and have robots made that look and act just like them. This means you won't have to emit any more carbon emissions driving or flying out of town! And this is good for all holidays, not just Thanksgiving.
It may be a bit steep price-wise, but think of it as an investment. You can spend a few thousand dollars now (or million, who knows how much robot clones really cost) or you can spend that much over the course of your life traveling here and there. And that means you can sell your car, as you won't need to travel. Well, really, you'll need to sell your car in order to afford the robots, so that works out.
But wait! There's more! This isn't an environmental benefit, so to speak, but I've often mentioned how robots are going to take over the world one day. So it would seem weird that I'd endorse making more robots to put in this world. But the way I see it is that if it's inevitable that you will be a slave to a robot one day, why not make the robots look like your parents? That way nothing will change. Only instead of yelling at you because you broke curfew or didn't clean your room, they'll be yelling at you to work harder in the endrium mines so they can build more robot warriors!
Happy Thanksgiving Eve Eve everyone! Make sure to come back tomorrow when I'll be explaining how to cook a Green Thanksgiving Meal (use green food coloring, of course! Sorry... Lame... I know.)
Take that turkey out of the oven! You've still got two days! It'll be WAY overdone by Thanksgiving!
But that smell does mean that today is the first in my four part series about how to celebrate a Greener Thanksgiving! Today I'll be sharing with you my secrets for Greener Holiday Travel.
Now, if you're like me and most of the country, you live pretty far away from at least some members of your family. So whether they're coming in to visit you or you're going out of town to visit them, you can only imagine what kind of a toll this extra transportation will take on the environment. All that jet fuel burning or car exhaust or train smoke or whatnot. At the rate we're releasing carbon emissions all of the turkeys might be killed off by Global Warming by next Thanksgiving! So what's the best option for the environmentally conscious traveler? Trains? Buses? Carpooling?
Nope! It's to build robot clones of your loved ones! Now, I know it sounds crazy, but it might just work. Depending on how many you can afford, just select several of your favorite relatives and have robots made that look and act just like them. This means you won't have to emit any more carbon emissions driving or flying out of town! And this is good for all holidays, not just Thanksgiving.
It may be a bit steep price-wise, but think of it as an investment. You can spend a few thousand dollars now (or million, who knows how much robot clones really cost) or you can spend that much over the course of your life traveling here and there. And that means you can sell your car, as you won't need to travel. Well, really, you'll need to sell your car in order to afford the robots, so that works out.
But wait! There's more! This isn't an environmental benefit, so to speak, but I've often mentioned how robots are going to take over the world one day. So it would seem weird that I'd endorse making more robots to put in this world. But the way I see it is that if it's inevitable that you will be a slave to a robot one day, why not make the robots look like your parents? That way nothing will change. Only instead of yelling at you because you broke curfew or didn't clean your room, they'll be yelling at you to work harder in the endrium mines so they can build more robot warriors!
Happy Thanksgiving Eve Eve everyone! Make sure to come back tomorrow when I'll be explaining how to cook a Green Thanksgiving Meal (use green food coloring, of course! Sorry... Lame... I know.)
Monday, November 23, 2009
Another Side Note
Hey everybody! Make sure you check in every day this week (excluding today) as I will be writing a 4 part series on how to enjoy your Thanksgivings in a more Green way!
Tuesday: Green Holiday Traveling
Wednesday: Green Thanksgiving Dinner
Thursday: Green Black Friday Shopping (I know it's confusing. Just go with it.)
Friday: Green Football
Now everyone has something to be thankful for this Thursday: double the Green Tips!
And for those of you not in the USA and are confused about what Thanksgiving is, just pretend I said 'Founders Day' or 'Independence Day' or some such thing. Oh, and replace football with cricket or um... football. But in the way that everyone in the world uses it (soccer).
Tuesday: Green Holiday Traveling
Wednesday: Green Thanksgiving Dinner
Thursday: Green Black Friday Shopping (I know it's confusing. Just go with it.)
Friday: Green Football
Now everyone has something to be thankful for this Thursday: double the Green Tips!
And for those of you not in the USA and are confused about what Thanksgiving is, just pretend I said 'Founders Day' or 'Independence Day' or some such thing. Oh, and replace football with cricket or um... football. But in the way that everyone in the world uses it (soccer).
Friday, November 20, 2009
Green Tip #46: Global Warming is Good
Let's talk about viruses. Ah yes, the unassuming little things that have killed more people than all the serial killers in the world combined. With all of the talk about H1N1 and HIV and SARS and Keanu Reeves' acting career, I figure I should address how these very simple organisms are able to infect perfectly good hosts (or movies) and reek havoc causing mayhem and destruction.
So a virus is basically a little sac of DNA that latches onto a perfectly healthy cell and injects this DNA into the host. The host cell then dies and new viruses rupture out of the cell's corpse like the monster from 'Alien' popped out of the guy's chest. Then the new viruses go on to infect other cells. This cycle repeats itself until the host organism's defenses are able to fight back. (No, lining up colored pills on the viruses is not one of the body's defenses. 10 points to anyone who gets that reference.) One of the ways that the host fights back is by raising its body temperature, thus giving it a fever. This increased body temperature makes a hostile environment for the viruses and helps to speed up the virus's demise. Usually the body is able to fight off the virus, other times the host doesn't survive and the virus is trapped in the dead host and eventually is starved for living cells and dies out itself. Ha, stupid virus, it loses either way!
But wait... If you think back to the movie 'The Matrix,' (I've mentioned it before in Green Tip #2 when referring to how robots will take over the world) you'll remember how Agent Smith compares humans to a virus. We've essentially broken past the limits that nature naturally (isn't everything in nature natural?) sets for species that makes populations decline when resources are scarce. We kept expanding beyond our resources and now have no natural predators.
Go us, right? No, not quite... If you think of planet earth as an organism, it would be safe to say that Global Warming is her getting a fever trying to kill us off. Yup, the human race is now officially those drunk people that don't realize they're being completely inappropriate at weddings and won't take a hint that they should leave. We're unwanted...
But it doesn't have to end this way. What if we were to mutate (so to speak) into a harmless strain? Even better yet, what if we took a cue from the adeno-associated virus type 2? This virus infects humans and other primates and causes no known disease. Better yet, some studies have shown that this virus can actually help to fight some forms of cancer.
So Green Tip #46 is this: let's use Global Warming as a challenge for us to be better viruses. Think about what actions to you take and whether you're acting like HIV or more like AAV2. Let's hope for all of our sakes that you choose AAV2.
So a virus is basically a little sac of DNA that latches onto a perfectly healthy cell and injects this DNA into the host. The host cell then dies and new viruses rupture out of the cell's corpse like the monster from 'Alien' popped out of the guy's chest. Then the new viruses go on to infect other cells. This cycle repeats itself until the host organism's defenses are able to fight back. (No, lining up colored pills on the viruses is not one of the body's defenses. 10 points to anyone who gets that reference.) One of the ways that the host fights back is by raising its body temperature, thus giving it a fever. This increased body temperature makes a hostile environment for the viruses and helps to speed up the virus's demise. Usually the body is able to fight off the virus, other times the host doesn't survive and the virus is trapped in the dead host and eventually is starved for living cells and dies out itself. Ha, stupid virus, it loses either way!
But wait... If you think back to the movie 'The Matrix,' (I've mentioned it before in Green Tip #2 when referring to how robots will take over the world) you'll remember how Agent Smith compares humans to a virus. We've essentially broken past the limits that nature naturally (isn't everything in nature natural?) sets for species that makes populations decline when resources are scarce. We kept expanding beyond our resources and now have no natural predators.
Go us, right? No, not quite... If you think of planet earth as an organism, it would be safe to say that Global Warming is her getting a fever trying to kill us off. Yup, the human race is now officially those drunk people that don't realize they're being completely inappropriate at weddings and won't take a hint that they should leave. We're unwanted...
But it doesn't have to end this way. What if we were to mutate (so to speak) into a harmless strain? Even better yet, what if we took a cue from the adeno-associated virus type 2? This virus infects humans and other primates and causes no known disease. Better yet, some studies have shown that this virus can actually help to fight some forms of cancer.
So Green Tip #46 is this: let's use Global Warming as a challenge for us to be better viruses. Think about what actions to you take and whether you're acting like HIV or more like AAV2. Let's hope for all of our sakes that you choose AAV2.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Green Tip #45: You Can't Take It With You
Every so often, the Green Tips posted in the Impractical Green Resource will bring up serious questions about what the best course of action will be in a situation. For example, what is the environmentally conscious person supposed to do when it comes to dining out? Green Tip #45 will address that issue using some of the previous Green Tips to back it up.
First off, let me say this. Why are you even thinking about eating out in the first place? Are you not listening to me? Just one week ago, in Green Tip #43, I suggested to everyone that they stay locked away in their homes until spring comes around like a bear trapped in her cave or a celebrity under house arrest.
Okay, I can accept that you might live in a warmer climate and that Green Tip might not apply. If that's the case, what are you going to do when you end up going out to eat and have leftovers? I mean, I just cringe whenever I see those Styrofoam take out boxes littering the side of the streets.
The very observant (and obsessive) reader will know that the two main options can both by covered by previous Green Tips. Option 1 is to follow what Green Tip #4 implicitly states. Sure, go ahead and scarf down the rest of that chicken cacciatore. While I never expressly endorsed being fat as a way to save energy, I did have the opportunity to denounce being fat and I didn't take it. That can be read as saying it's okay to be overweight. And think about how much you can save on your heating bill if you've got a thick layer of blubber.
The other option is to take it home with you. I know, I know, Styrofoam has been called Satan's excrement because of how bad it is for the environment, but Green Tip #20 has some very good suggestions on what to do with the Styrofoam boxes once you get home. Walking on water = pretty darn cool. Just make sure you wash out the boxes before you use them so you aren't stepping in clam sauce.
So which way is better? The quick answer: neither. If you go back and read Green Tip #6 you will see that there is a third and better option. Simply ask the waiter or waitress which wall is an external wall, and begin stuffing your leftovers in for insulation! Just remember to put the hole higher up on the wall, otherwise you'll have food leaking all over the restaurant. Just don't forget what Green Tip #54 has to say about those extra drinks, otherwise you'll run into more problems than just weird looks!
What? The link doesn't work? Okay, don't worry about it. It'll work someday.
First off, let me say this. Why are you even thinking about eating out in the first place? Are you not listening to me? Just one week ago, in Green Tip #43, I suggested to everyone that they stay locked away in their homes until spring comes around like a bear trapped in her cave or a celebrity under house arrest.
Okay, I can accept that you might live in a warmer climate and that Green Tip might not apply. If that's the case, what are you going to do when you end up going out to eat and have leftovers? I mean, I just cringe whenever I see those Styrofoam take out boxes littering the side of the streets.
The very observant (and obsessive) reader will know that the two main options can both by covered by previous Green Tips. Option 1 is to follow what Green Tip #4 implicitly states. Sure, go ahead and scarf down the rest of that chicken cacciatore. While I never expressly endorsed being fat as a way to save energy, I did have the opportunity to denounce being fat and I didn't take it. That can be read as saying it's okay to be overweight. And think about how much you can save on your heating bill if you've got a thick layer of blubber.
The other option is to take it home with you. I know, I know, Styrofoam has been called Satan's excrement because of how bad it is for the environment, but Green Tip #20 has some very good suggestions on what to do with the Styrofoam boxes once you get home. Walking on water = pretty darn cool. Just make sure you wash out the boxes before you use them so you aren't stepping in clam sauce.
So which way is better? The quick answer: neither. If you go back and read Green Tip #6 you will see that there is a third and better option. Simply ask the waiter or waitress which wall is an external wall, and begin stuffing your leftovers in for insulation! Just remember to put the hole higher up on the wall, otherwise you'll have food leaking all over the restaurant. Just don't forget what Green Tip #54 has to say about those extra drinks, otherwise you'll run into more problems than just weird looks!
What? The link doesn't work? Okay, don't worry about it. It'll work someday.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Green Tip #44: WRAWWN Part 1, Plastic
Let me clear something up right away. WRAWWN, while it does sound like a sound a baby dinosaur might make, is in fact an acronym. Without further ado, here's the first part of a brand new feature that I'll be doing from time to time.
What Resource Are We Wasting Now? Part 1, Plastic
Let me just differentiate this and the Landfill Reductions that I've done. WRAWWN is all about how not to use some basic material or water or energy or something like that. The Landfill Reductions talk about what to do with something once it's been used.
Enough chitchat, let's save the planet!
Straws?? Really?? I mean COME ON! Think of all the plastic that we're wasting! Here's the situation that must have come up the first time a fast food restaurant put a straw in their drinks. Some hugely overweight man probably complained to the restaurant that he was just too darn tired to pick up his drink. And thus the straw was born. I mean, seriously? How lazy are we that we can't even pick up our drinks? Although, with the size of drinks these days, we would probably be building some muscles by lifting the cups.
Another waste of plastic is how much they use to wrap up small electronics. Next time you're at a store that sells USB drives, check out how much plastic is on them. There's probably ten times as much plastic wrapping as there is USB drive. Do we REALLY need to have it secured by enough plastic that we can put carpeting down and charge rent for people to stay in it?? Not to mention that it's impossible to get off, but that only hurts the environment if I take out my frustration by drop kicking squirrels.
And finally, retail stores need to lighten up a bit. I don't know if you're like me or not, but I always forget to bring my canvas bags to the store and I end up having to use plastic bags (ugh). Well, I tried to be smart and wore a trench coat with deep pockets so I could use that instead of bags. I was just trying to save Toys 'R Us some bags, and the next thing I know I'm not allowed to shop there any more. Something about shoplifting or being creepy or something like that. Why can't I wear a trench coat whenever I want to?? It's a free country!!
So yeah, plastic.
What Resource Are We Wasting Now? Part 1, Plastic
Let me just differentiate this and the Landfill Reductions that I've done. WRAWWN is all about how not to use some basic material or water or energy or something like that. The Landfill Reductions talk about what to do with something once it's been used.
Enough chitchat, let's save the planet!
Straws?? Really?? I mean COME ON! Think of all the plastic that we're wasting! Here's the situation that must have come up the first time a fast food restaurant put a straw in their drinks. Some hugely overweight man probably complained to the restaurant that he was just too darn tired to pick up his drink. And thus the straw was born. I mean, seriously? How lazy are we that we can't even pick up our drinks? Although, with the size of drinks these days, we would probably be building some muscles by lifting the cups.
Another waste of plastic is how much they use to wrap up small electronics. Next time you're at a store that sells USB drives, check out how much plastic is on them. There's probably ten times as much plastic wrapping as there is USB drive. Do we REALLY need to have it secured by enough plastic that we can put carpeting down and charge rent for people to stay in it?? Not to mention that it's impossible to get off, but that only hurts the environment if I take out my frustration by drop kicking squirrels.
And finally, retail stores need to lighten up a bit. I don't know if you're like me or not, but I always forget to bring my canvas bags to the store and I end up having to use plastic bags (ugh). Well, I tried to be smart and wore a trench coat with deep pockets so I could use that instead of bags. I was just trying to save Toys 'R Us some bags, and the next thing I know I'm not allowed to shop there any more. Something about shoplifting or being creepy or something like that. Why can't I wear a trench coat whenever I want to?? It's a free country!!
So yeah, plastic.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Green Tip #43: WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME!!!
Okay, don't panic.... but you only have a very very small window to get this Green Tip done. Right now (well, in a minute after you read this) go to the store and get the following things:
Spray-on foam
Canned food
Plant lights
Flower pots
Soil
Seeds
Here's why you need all this stuff. There's a very good chance that there's no more warm days left this year. I can't speak for the rest of the country, but here in Toledo, it's been in the 50's and 60's, even getting as high as 67 on Saturday. That's unseasonably warm in an area where the first snowfall can come as early as October.
In the next few days, the weather will probably start getting much colder, so you need to act on this right now. First, open all the windows and bring in all that unseasonable weather. Then, completely seal up all of your windows, doors, and any other cracks with the spray on foam. This will create a nice tight lining on your home or apartment that will keep that warm air in. Yes, it's true, you won't be able to leave your apartment or house until probably April or May, but that's what the other things are for.
You're going to want to grow various things that you can eat, such as tomatoes, carrots, peas, hamburgers (if you find hamburger seeds, save some for me, I can't find them anywhere). You'll have to live off of canned food until the plants are ready, though, so I hope you like canned beets. It's a small price to pay for really low heating bills during the winter.
Added bonus: I like to throw in some added benefits of these Green Tips to make them even more enticing for you to put into practice in your life. The bonus to this one is that when the world ends on December 21, 2012, you'll have 3 years of bomb shelter making experience under your belt. You'll be way ahead of the game!
Spray-on foam
Canned food
Plant lights
Flower pots
Soil
Seeds
Here's why you need all this stuff. There's a very good chance that there's no more warm days left this year. I can't speak for the rest of the country, but here in Toledo, it's been in the 50's and 60's, even getting as high as 67 on Saturday. That's unseasonably warm in an area where the first snowfall can come as early as October.
In the next few days, the weather will probably start getting much colder, so you need to act on this right now. First, open all the windows and bring in all that unseasonable weather. Then, completely seal up all of your windows, doors, and any other cracks with the spray on foam. This will create a nice tight lining on your home or apartment that will keep that warm air in. Yes, it's true, you won't be able to leave your apartment or house until probably April or May, but that's what the other things are for.
You're going to want to grow various things that you can eat, such as tomatoes, carrots, peas, hamburgers (if you find hamburger seeds, save some for me, I can't find them anywhere). You'll have to live off of canned food until the plants are ready, though, so I hope you like canned beets. It's a small price to pay for really low heating bills during the winter.
Added bonus: I like to throw in some added benefits of these Green Tips to make them even more enticing for you to put into practice in your life. The bonus to this one is that when the world ends on December 21, 2012, you'll have 3 years of bomb shelter making experience under your belt. You'll be way ahead of the game!
Friday, November 6, 2009
Green Tip #42: Short Hair
Okay, you're about to read something that's never been done before. I am going to use math to prove why one fashion style is the best one. After you read this, you'd better make an appointment at your barber shop, because everyone's going to be rushing out to follow this hot new trend.
As you can tell from the title, I'm about to show you the benefits of having short hair. It's about to get all mathematical in the here, so hold on to your logarithms.
Okay, so my first assumption is that there is a linear relationship between the length of the person's hair and the amount of shampoo that they use. Now, there are several factors that interact with this (gender, age, socio-economic status, etc.) but within each demographic subgroup of the population, I feel confident making this assumption. Also, it may stop being linear beyond certain extremes, such as when a person has really really short hair or really really long hair. In the tail ends of the hair length distribution, the relationship may be more exponential or perhaps logarithmic.
That being said, I can further conclude that a person with half the hair length will use half the volume of shampoo. Again, there are complicating factors to this, such as a person with short hair will wash their hair less often, and therefore use less than half of the volume of shampoo, but we'll ignore that for this calculation. If anything, this assumption will only make my conclusions less conclusive, so if I can prove the environmental benefits with this assumption in place, I can say that the conclusions will hold even more so when this assumption is removed.
Now let's gather some figures. According to a case study done by the Boston Consulting Group, the average US household uses 19.5 bottles of shampoo per year. That's 19.5 20 oz. bottles, or 390 oz. per household. And, according to the 2007 US Census Bureau report, there are approximately 111,162,259 households. That means the US uses 43,353,281,010 oz. of shampoo per year. That comes out to 338,697,508 gallons of shampoo per year. And according to an article on Newsweek, up to 80 % of shampoo is water. That means the US shampoo industry uses about 270,958,000 gallons of water per year. That's roughly the amount of water that one person uses in 9279 years.
What if we were able to cut that in half? Think of all the water we'd save! How do we do that, you might ask? Well, Green Tip #42 is this: Cut Your Hair Length in Half. Yes, I know this means short hair will be popular among women because of this, but I should put the needs of the environment before my personal preferences.
Also, I didn't factor in the amount of conditioner or anything like that. Also, we'll save electricity by cutting down on hair dryer use. But that's just icing on the cake when it comes to how much water will be saved.
Now, there are two notable exceptions to this rule. Bald people, there's nothing you can really do to help the cause here. Kudos on being ahead of the game though. Just make sure you keep that head wax use to a minimum. And hippies, I understand you like your long hair. But odds are you either have dreadlocks (Nasty, but Saves Water!) or you just simply don't shower. Either way, you can ignore the above Green Tip. I think you've done enough for the environment.
As you can tell from the title, I'm about to show you the benefits of having short hair. It's about to get all mathematical in the here, so hold on to your logarithms.
Okay, so my first assumption is that there is a linear relationship between the length of the person's hair and the amount of shampoo that they use. Now, there are several factors that interact with this (gender, age, socio-economic status, etc.) but within each demographic subgroup of the population, I feel confident making this assumption. Also, it may stop being linear beyond certain extremes, such as when a person has really really short hair or really really long hair. In the tail ends of the hair length distribution, the relationship may be more exponential or perhaps logarithmic.
That being said, I can further conclude that a person with half the hair length will use half the volume of shampoo. Again, there are complicating factors to this, such as a person with short hair will wash their hair less often, and therefore use less than half of the volume of shampoo, but we'll ignore that for this calculation. If anything, this assumption will only make my conclusions less conclusive, so if I can prove the environmental benefits with this assumption in place, I can say that the conclusions will hold even more so when this assumption is removed.
Now let's gather some figures. According to a case study done by the Boston Consulting Group, the average US household uses 19.5 bottles of shampoo per year. That's 19.5 20 oz. bottles, or 390 oz. per household. And, according to the 2007 US Census Bureau report, there are approximately 111,162,259 households. That means the US uses 43,353,281,010 oz. of shampoo per year. That comes out to 338,697,508 gallons of shampoo per year. And according to an article on Newsweek, up to 80 % of shampoo is water. That means the US shampoo industry uses about 270,958,000 gallons of water per year. That's roughly the amount of water that one person uses in 9279 years.
What if we were able to cut that in half? Think of all the water we'd save! How do we do that, you might ask? Well, Green Tip #42 is this: Cut Your Hair Length in Half. Yes, I know this means short hair will be popular among women because of this, but I should put the needs of the environment before my personal preferences.
Also, I didn't factor in the amount of conditioner or anything like that. Also, we'll save electricity by cutting down on hair dryer use. But that's just icing on the cake when it comes to how much water will be saved.
Now, there are two notable exceptions to this rule. Bald people, there's nothing you can really do to help the cause here. Kudos on being ahead of the game though. Just make sure you keep that head wax use to a minimum. And hippies, I understand you like your long hair. But odds are you either have dreadlocks (Nasty, but Saves Water!) or you just simply don't shower. Either way, you can ignore the above Green Tip. I think you've done enough for the environment.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Green Tip #41: 5 Reasons Facebook is Good For the Environment
Ah, yes... Good ol' Facebook. Never before have I seen a website that has gained so much negative press and yet has become an integral part almost everyone's lives that have signed up for it. And although Facebook might have attracted negative attention for needlessly changing layouts and stealing private information and causing lower grades among college students, I'd like to talk about 5 reasons why Facebook is ultimately good for the environment. I know, it might seem like a shameless way to promote the all new Impractical Green Resource Facebook Page and the reason for that is it is a shameless promotion for it. No seriously, check it out. Search for Impractical Green Resource on Facebook. After you're done reading this Green Tip, of course...
Anyway...
5 Reasons Why Facebook is Good For the Environment:
1) It Saves Transportation Costs
Think back to a time pre-2004 (when Facebook launched). Ah yes, I remember it like it was just yesterday. So let's say you hadn't seen a friend in a while. What's the first thing that you'd want to do? Well, back then, you'd call them up or send them an IM (not a text) and ask if they'd want to get together and get coffee or play a game or something. Fast forward 5ish years to today and now, instead of driving your car to their place or the coffee shop, all you have to do is hop on your computer (not literally) and invite them to play a game of Bowling Buddies or Lexulous. Saves both of you gas and you can still get that fix for social interaction that all of need from time to time.
2) It Saves Paper
Actually, this one is sort of funny, because I literally just did this which gave me the idea for this point. One of my friends has a birthday today (Happy Birthday Kristyn!) and instead of wasting a perfectly good tree to get her a card, I just posted a message on her wall. There's no way I can be considered cheap or inconsiderate for not getting her a card; I wrote on her wall, after all! Similarly, if you're really cheap, you can get them a Facebook gift, which uses no natural resources at all! Yay for celebrating Green birthdays!
3) It Reduces Propellant Use
Now, I am aware that aerosol spray cans phased out CFC's around 20 years ago, so there should be no worries about spray paint adding to the hole in the ozone layer (what ever happened to that, by the way? I can only assume it's gotten better or we'd still be hearing about that). But I also know that spray paint uses chemicals which really shouldn't be ending up in runoff into our streams and lakes. Well, now that Facebook is around, those of you with uncontrollable urges to graffiti things now have an environmentally (and criminally) safe way to vent your desires. You can write on people's walls! Think about what that literally means. Write. On. Their. Walls. Now, if I went to my friend's apartment and started writing on their walls with spray paint, they'd be pretty darn mad at me. And probably un-friend me on Facebook.
4) It Teaches Us About Caring For the Environment
Farmville. I can't say I use it, but I do know it's popular to a lot of people. Great job, Facebook! If the people that are addicted to Farmville are as addicted as I gather they are, it's only a matter of time until they start planting trees and vegetables in their own yards, thinking that they're still playing the game. More trees = less CO2 in the atmosphere, and that's really what we're going for with the Green Movement. And finally...
5) It Saves Ink
Ah, yes... (I already said that...) One of the things that Facebook is especially known for is the embarrassing pictures of drunken parties that end up being posted there. Now, pre-Facebook, if your friend, co-worker, significant other, brother, sister, mother, grandmother (heaven forbid...) gets drunk and starts making a fool of themselves, you'd take pictures and then have to go get the film developed or the digital photos printed at a store somewhere. Because, you have to show everyone else you know, right? That means multiple copies so everyone can have one. Ugh, that wastes so much paper and printer ink. Isn't is so much more environmentally friendly just to post them on Facebook so everyone else can easily see them? Remember to think of how many trees and... ink... bushes? you'll be saving next time you're uploading pictures of your friend passed out in his or her bathroom.
Well, there you have it. Facebook is pretty darn good for the environment. Who knew? With your new-found appreciation for the site, I'd suggest you go check it out. I'd start by searching for Impractical Green Resource. Become a fan, of course!
Anyway...
5 Reasons Why Facebook is Good For the Environment:
1) It Saves Transportation Costs
Think back to a time pre-2004 (when Facebook launched). Ah yes, I remember it like it was just yesterday. So let's say you hadn't seen a friend in a while. What's the first thing that you'd want to do? Well, back then, you'd call them up or send them an IM (not a text) and ask if they'd want to get together and get coffee or play a game or something. Fast forward 5ish years to today and now, instead of driving your car to their place or the coffee shop, all you have to do is hop on your computer (not literally) and invite them to play a game of Bowling Buddies or Lexulous. Saves both of you gas and you can still get that fix for social interaction that all of need from time to time.
2) It Saves Paper
Actually, this one is sort of funny, because I literally just did this which gave me the idea for this point. One of my friends has a birthday today (Happy Birthday Kristyn!) and instead of wasting a perfectly good tree to get her a card, I just posted a message on her wall. There's no way I can be considered cheap or inconsiderate for not getting her a card; I wrote on her wall, after all! Similarly, if you're really cheap, you can get them a Facebook gift, which uses no natural resources at all! Yay for celebrating Green birthdays!
3) It Reduces Propellant Use
Now, I am aware that aerosol spray cans phased out CFC's around 20 years ago, so there should be no worries about spray paint adding to the hole in the ozone layer (what ever happened to that, by the way? I can only assume it's gotten better or we'd still be hearing about that). But I also know that spray paint uses chemicals which really shouldn't be ending up in runoff into our streams and lakes. Well, now that Facebook is around, those of you with uncontrollable urges to graffiti things now have an environmentally (and criminally) safe way to vent your desires. You can write on people's walls! Think about what that literally means. Write. On. Their. Walls. Now, if I went to my friend's apartment and started writing on their walls with spray paint, they'd be pretty darn mad at me. And probably un-friend me on Facebook.
4) It Teaches Us About Caring For the Environment
Farmville. I can't say I use it, but I do know it's popular to a lot of people. Great job, Facebook! If the people that are addicted to Farmville are as addicted as I gather they are, it's only a matter of time until they start planting trees and vegetables in their own yards, thinking that they're still playing the game. More trees = less CO2 in the atmosphere, and that's really what we're going for with the Green Movement. And finally...
5) It Saves Ink
Ah, yes... (I already said that...) One of the things that Facebook is especially known for is the embarrassing pictures of drunken parties that end up being posted there. Now, pre-Facebook, if your friend, co-worker, significant other, brother, sister, mother, grandmother (heaven forbid...) gets drunk and starts making a fool of themselves, you'd take pictures and then have to go get the film developed or the digital photos printed at a store somewhere. Because, you have to show everyone else you know, right? That means multiple copies so everyone can have one. Ugh, that wastes so much paper and printer ink. Isn't is so much more environmentally friendly just to post them on Facebook so everyone else can easily see them? Remember to think of how many trees and... ink... bushes? you'll be saving next time you're uploading pictures of your friend passed out in his or her bathroom.
Well, there you have it. Facebook is pretty darn good for the environment. Who knew? With your new-found appreciation for the site, I'd suggest you go check it out. I'd start by searching for Impractical Green Resource. Become a fan, of course!
Friday, October 30, 2009
Green Tip #40: Happy Halloween!
Ah, yes, it's that time of year again... The time of year when the leaves start changing and there's a cold chill in the air. The smell of wet leaves and bonfires mingle with the tastes of crisp apple cider and sweet pumpkin pie. Yes, it's Fall, and with Fall comes one of the most exciting holidays of the year.
Halloween!
Yes, in just one short day, we'll all be dressing up as our favorite superheroes, or our favorite celebrities, or our favorite vampires from teen drama movies/books series and going trick-or-treating begging for yummy treats from strangers. And although this now much commercialized holiday is a time for merriment and sugar comas, the holiday started off with much different origins. Yes, this holiday has its origins as a time to ward off evil spirits.
But when looked at from a Green perspective, do we really want to ward off evil spirits? The answer is yes... and no... Green Tip #40 is a two part Green Tip.
(For Warm Weather Readers)
If you live in a warmer climate, what you're going to want to do is get your house possessed by a ghost. Now, I'm certainly no expert in how you're supposed to get around to doing this, but I do know that on TV and movies and books and stuff, the people living in a haunted house always feel a cold chill when there's an evil spirit present. I saw this on a ghost hunting show and the first thing I thought was "Man, that would save a lot of money on my A/C costs during the summer." And while I have no idea if ghosts use spiritual energy efficient ways to bring a chill to the house, I do know that ghosts are regular energy efficient. And trust me, California, you could use to be more energy efficient...
(For Cold Weather Readers)
Now, obviously, the first thing you want to do is to have your house exorcised of any demonic forces that might chill your already drafty, cold house. And I have just the thing to help with that.
You need to hold lots of seances. And why is that? Because seances use lots of candles. And while I'm not saying that candles are necessarily energy efficient ways to light your house, they can serve a double purpose. Because colder climates also get darker earlier during the winter, and you could use all the lighting you can handle.
Well, there you have it... this doesn't need to be done during Halloween necessarily, but I was just reminded of this because of all the Halloween festivities that are going on.
On a side note, make sure you keep this in mind if you're about to die. I mean, when I become a ghost, I know for sure that I'll be heading off to somewhere warmer. Whoever owns the place I end up haunting will thank me for it.
Halloween!
Yes, in just one short day, we'll all be dressing up as our favorite superheroes, or our favorite celebrities, or our favorite vampires from teen drama movies/books series and going trick-or-treating begging for yummy treats from strangers. And although this now much commercialized holiday is a time for merriment and sugar comas, the holiday started off with much different origins. Yes, this holiday has its origins as a time to ward off evil spirits.
But when looked at from a Green perspective, do we really want to ward off evil spirits? The answer is yes... and no... Green Tip #40 is a two part Green Tip.
(For Warm Weather Readers)
If you live in a warmer climate, what you're going to want to do is get your house possessed by a ghost. Now, I'm certainly no expert in how you're supposed to get around to doing this, but I do know that on TV and movies and books and stuff, the people living in a haunted house always feel a cold chill when there's an evil spirit present. I saw this on a ghost hunting show and the first thing I thought was "Man, that would save a lot of money on my A/C costs during the summer." And while I have no idea if ghosts use spiritual energy efficient ways to bring a chill to the house, I do know that ghosts are regular energy efficient. And trust me, California, you could use to be more energy efficient...
(For Cold Weather Readers)
Now, obviously, the first thing you want to do is to have your house exorcised of any demonic forces that might chill your already drafty, cold house. And I have just the thing to help with that.
You need to hold lots of seances. And why is that? Because seances use lots of candles. And while I'm not saying that candles are necessarily energy efficient ways to light your house, they can serve a double purpose. Because colder climates also get darker earlier during the winter, and you could use all the lighting you can handle.
Well, there you have it... this doesn't need to be done during Halloween necessarily, but I was just reminded of this because of all the Halloween festivities that are going on.
On a side note, make sure you keep this in mind if you're about to die. I mean, when I become a ghost, I know for sure that I'll be heading off to somewhere warmer. Whoever owns the place I end up haunting will thank me for it.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Green Tip #39: Agrarian Society
First off, let me say that the word 'agrarian' is a fun word. 'Agrarian.' Say it with me. 'Agrarian.'
Okay, now that's out of the way, let's move on with the rest of the Green Tip. Agrarian is a term that roughly means 'farm-based.' To use it in a sentence, "Gary is an idiot because he doesn't know what agrarian means." Most, if not all, societies started off as agrarian several hundred or thousand years ago. Gradually some countries grew towards more merchant-based societies that sold their agrarian neighbors' goods. Then the Industrial Revolution came around and that's basically when society decided that they were tired of nature and would do what it could to pave over everything in order to make room for the Targets and such that would come around in a few hundred years.
So, while it may seem that's the direction I'm heading, Green Tip #39 is not by any means an endorsement of all developed countries returning to an agrarian society. If I did that, nobody would be able to use computers and therefore couldn't read The Impractical Green Resource. Then we'd be back where we were with Green Tip #26. For those of you that don't remember, we don't want that.
No, while some parts of an agrarian society would be great (no more... (hm, I can't say 'Hummers' here anymore) let's just say Escalades), there are a lot of other things that we'd all miss too much. Like tires. No, not tires for cars, but tires for playing with. (Green Tip #37). Because yes, while tires are primitive by our standards, they are a product of the Industrial Revolution.
Here's a partial list of other things I'd miss if we lived in an agrarian society:
Wind turbines.
Videos of babies laughing on YouTube.
Ziploc bags.
Football.
The Dr. Phil show.
Witty bumper stickers.
Bubble wrap.
Crème brûlée.
Halloween decorative lights.
Volumes 1-18 (54 episodes) of the Good Eats TV show.
and a whole lot more that I don't have space to list here.
So, an agrarian society would not be an ideal place to live. But they did have some pretty important things right. Like, for example, if you get up when the sun rises and go to bed when the sun sets, think of how much electricity you could save. (Lots). And don't you think we could save a lot of gas if we rode horses and buggies places instead of driving cars? Basically, I'm saying the the Amish have it right on. Live like you are in an agrarian society, only without all those inconveniences that come along with it.
Okay, now that's out of the way, let's move on with the rest of the Green Tip. Agrarian is a term that roughly means 'farm-based.' To use it in a sentence, "Gary is an idiot because he doesn't know what agrarian means." Most, if not all, societies started off as agrarian several hundred or thousand years ago. Gradually some countries grew towards more merchant-based societies that sold their agrarian neighbors' goods. Then the Industrial Revolution came around and that's basically when society decided that they were tired of nature and would do what it could to pave over everything in order to make room for the Targets and such that would come around in a few hundred years.
So, while it may seem that's the direction I'm heading, Green Tip #39 is not by any means an endorsement of all developed countries returning to an agrarian society. If I did that, nobody would be able to use computers and therefore couldn't read The Impractical Green Resource. Then we'd be back where we were with Green Tip #26. For those of you that don't remember, we don't want that.
No, while some parts of an agrarian society would be great (no more... (hm, I can't say 'Hummers' here anymore) let's just say Escalades), there are a lot of other things that we'd all miss too much. Like tires. No, not tires for cars, but tires for playing with. (Green Tip #37). Because yes, while tires are primitive by our standards, they are a product of the Industrial Revolution.
Here's a partial list of other things I'd miss if we lived in an agrarian society:
Wind turbines.
Videos of babies laughing on YouTube.
Ziploc bags.
Football.
The Dr. Phil show.
Witty bumper stickers.
Bubble wrap.
Crème brûlée.
Halloween decorative lights.
Volumes 1-18 (54 episodes) of the Good Eats TV show.
and a whole lot more that I don't have space to list here.
So, an agrarian society would not be an ideal place to live. But they did have some pretty important things right. Like, for example, if you get up when the sun rises and go to bed when the sun sets, think of how much electricity you could save. (Lots). And don't you think we could save a lot of gas if we rode horses and buggies places instead of driving cars? Basically, I'm saying the the Amish have it right on. Live like you are in an agrarian society, only without all those inconveniences that come along with it.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Green Tip #38: One Space or Two?
Conservation is an interesting thing. The way I see it, there are two basic approaches to conservation. The first way to conserve electricity, water, gas, plastics, chocolate, etc. is to switch to a different method of using the said resource that uses less of it. For example, if you want to use less electricity, switch to LED or CFL light bulbs. Or, if you want to use less chocolate, make chocolate chip cookies instead of chocolate cookies. You can still get what you want, just with less resource investment.
The other way to conserve is to simply cut out the amount you use by changing your habits. For example, if you want to cut down on electricity, you can put a timer on your lights to turn them off at night. Or, if you want to conserve chocolate, you can make sugar cookies instead of chocolate chip cookies. Ideally, you'd want a combination of the two kinds to maximize your conservation efforts.
That brings me to my green tip for today. One of the things that has been sort of ambiguous about computers and typing is whether to use one space or two after a sentence. Well, Green Tip #38 is that you should always only use one. The simple logic of it is that you will be hitting your space key just a little bit less that way. And that means your keyboard will last just a little bit longer. That means that you'll be less likely to replace your laptop or computer as often and keep that waste out of landfills. So do the right thing for the environment, and always make sure to use only one space whenever you end a sentence.
The other way to conserve is to simply cut out the amount you use by changing your habits. For example, if you want to cut down on electricity, you can put a timer on your lights to turn them off at night. Or, if you want to conserve chocolate, you can make sugar cookies instead of chocolate chip cookies. Ideally, you'd want a combination of the two kinds to maximize your conservation efforts.
That brings me to my green tip for today. One of the things that has been sort of ambiguous about computers and typing is whether to use one space or two after a sentence. Well, Green Tip #38 is that you should always only use one. The simple logic of it is that you will be hitting your space key just a little bit less that way. And that means your keyboard will last just a little bit longer. That means that you'll be less likely to replace your laptop or computer as often and keep that waste out of landfills. So do the right thing for the environment, and always make sure to use only one space whenever you end a sentence.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Green Tip #37: Landfill Reduction, Part 3
Good evening everyone. No introduction here, just
Landfill Reduction, Part 3 - Uses For Old Tires
1) With the recession the way it is (sucky) it's going to be difficult to afford toys for your children this holiday season. So, while it certainly doesn't compare to a Nintendo Wii, an old tire can be loads of fun for a kid to play with. Just ask previous generations, who could amuse themselves for hours on a tire swing. Although, with the childhood obesity epidemic going on, you might need to get a truck tire to make the swing...
2) Have you ever wondered why mattresses are so expensive? I mean the components of them are fairly common (metal, fabric, etc). My suggestion: a big bag of scraps of used tires. Sure, it might be a little lumpy, but think of how soft and bouncy rubber is! And who doesn't love smelling rubber all night long while they sleep?
3) Not so much a green tip as it is a money tip, but how about lining your car with used rubber tires? If you show that to your insurance company, they'll be sure to knock down your car insurance rates. Because there is no way anything will happen to your car.
4) Finally, although some people will tell you that it's bad for the environment, I recommend burning tires. I mean, people are wrong about things from time to time. Just look at corn based ethanol. Everyone thought that was so great and now nobody wants to go near that stuff. Maybe tires will be the same way, but in reverse. Just think, you could be a trend setter. Five years from now when everyone's burning tires, you can say "yeah, I was doing that before anyone thought that was a good idea." Anyone except me, of course.
Landfill Reduction, Part 3 - Uses For Old Tires
1) With the recession the way it is (sucky) it's going to be difficult to afford toys for your children this holiday season. So, while it certainly doesn't compare to a Nintendo Wii, an old tire can be loads of fun for a kid to play with. Just ask previous generations, who could amuse themselves for hours on a tire swing. Although, with the childhood obesity epidemic going on, you might need to get a truck tire to make the swing...
2) Have you ever wondered why mattresses are so expensive? I mean the components of them are fairly common (metal, fabric, etc). My suggestion: a big bag of scraps of used tires. Sure, it might be a little lumpy, but think of how soft and bouncy rubber is! And who doesn't love smelling rubber all night long while they sleep?
3) Not so much a green tip as it is a money tip, but how about lining your car with used rubber tires? If you show that to your insurance company, they'll be sure to knock down your car insurance rates. Because there is no way anything will happen to your car.
4) Finally, although some people will tell you that it's bad for the environment, I recommend burning tires. I mean, people are wrong about things from time to time. Just look at corn based ethanol. Everyone thought that was so great and now nobody wants to go near that stuff. Maybe tires will be the same way, but in reverse. Just think, you could be a trend setter. Five years from now when everyone's burning tires, you can say "yeah, I was doing that before anyone thought that was a good idea." Anyone except me, of course.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Green Tip #36: This is the Last Straw, Hummer!
Well, well, well. The day we've been dreading has finally come. Hummer has finally become even less environmentally friendly.
WHAT??? How can this be possible?? Well, let me act it out for you in a little scene.
The scene opens in a corporate board room, several middle aged men are sitting around a large board room table, smoking cigars and drinking brandy. Mr. Browne, the CEO enters in a gas powered wheelchair, smoke coming out the exhaust.
Browne: Gentlemen, we have a problem.
VP of Pollution: What is it?
Browne: Hummer, our proud company is facing a crisis. After all these years of polluting the environment, our numbers are falling.
VP of Sales: I understand that our sales are falling, but the technology department has assured me that our models are just as bad for the environment as always!
Browne: That's not good enough! In order to make up for our declining sales, we have to make our models worse than ever before!
VP of Operations: That's not possible! Wait, unless-
Browne: Yes, we have to do it.
VP of Marketing: But you know that the polar-bear-blood powered Hummers didn't test well among key market segments!
Browne: No, we're not going that far. We're going to sell ourselves to a Chinese company.
Applause and sighs of relief erupt from everyone around the table.
Browne: You see, if we're owned by a Chinese company, we don't have to follow any of the restrictions that the USA imposes on us. We can be as bad for the environment as possible!
More cheering.
Browne: Alright, everyone, let's go down to the park that's upstream of the daycare so we can dump our asbestos into the river.
They all leave, smiling and shaking one another's hands.
The End.
Okay, so maybe it didn't go quite like that, but it might have been similar. And yes, it is true, Hummer is owned by a Chinese company. And is therefore even worse for the environment. But I'm finally done making fun of Hummers. You'll never hear me mention them again. And the reason is this: I mean, really, what American would buy a Chinese car?
Green Tip #36 is this: keep doing what you're doing. Not buying Chinese cars.
WHAT??? How can this be possible?? Well, let me act it out for you in a little scene.
The scene opens in a corporate board room, several middle aged men are sitting around a large board room table, smoking cigars and drinking brandy. Mr. Browne, the CEO enters in a gas powered wheelchair, smoke coming out the exhaust.
Browne: Gentlemen, we have a problem.
VP of Pollution: What is it?
Browne: Hummer, our proud company is facing a crisis. After all these years of polluting the environment, our numbers are falling.
VP of Sales: I understand that our sales are falling, but the technology department has assured me that our models are just as bad for the environment as always!
Browne: That's not good enough! In order to make up for our declining sales, we have to make our models worse than ever before!
VP of Operations: That's not possible! Wait, unless-
Browne: Yes, we have to do it.
VP of Marketing: But you know that the polar-bear-blood powered Hummers didn't test well among key market segments!
Browne: No, we're not going that far. We're going to sell ourselves to a Chinese company.
Applause and sighs of relief erupt from everyone around the table.
Browne: You see, if we're owned by a Chinese company, we don't have to follow any of the restrictions that the USA imposes on us. We can be as bad for the environment as possible!
More cheering.
Browne: Alright, everyone, let's go down to the park that's upstream of the daycare so we can dump our asbestos into the river.
They all leave, smiling and shaking one another's hands.
The End.
Okay, so maybe it didn't go quite like that, but it might have been similar. And yes, it is true, Hummer is owned by a Chinese company. And is therefore even worse for the environment. But I'm finally done making fun of Hummers. You'll never hear me mention them again. And the reason is this: I mean, really, what American would buy a Chinese car?
Green Tip #36 is this: keep doing what you're doing. Not buying Chinese cars.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
A Side Note
Hey, because I am frequently self-referential (vocab word for the day...) I went back and put a link in every time I refer to another Green Tip. You know, to make things more simple for you all.
Enjoy!
Enjoy!
Green Tip #35: Curbside Mailboxes
If you've noticed over the past few months that the Impractical Green Resource has been around, the titles of the Green Tips are usually pretty unclear of what the actual message is that I'm about to tell you. (Green Tip #29: McDonald's PlayPlaces Are Causing Global Warming comes to mind for example) That being said, you're probably even more confused as to what Green Tip #35 is all about. Hm, if I had more time (and interested readers) that would actually be a pretty cool contest. I post an obscure green tip title and you guess what the message is supposed to be.
But alas, Global Warming is not a joke and we don't have time to play games. We need to band together and fight back. Together, armed with the swords of alternative energy, the shields of energy conservation, the breastplates of recycling and the helmets of water conservation, we will ride into battle (in our steeds of hybrid cars?) and we will take back what is rightfully ours! For are we not men and women?! Men and women with rights and freedoms! And while Global Warming may have taken our polar bears and our New Orleans, it has not taken our dignity!! For though we may be beaten down as the tide waters rise and the droughts afflict our land, we will go down in history as those that fought back!! Today, we make a stand for all of mankind!!! We will be remembered as heroes!! STAND YOUR GROUND AND GO PLACE YOUR MAILBOX ON THE CURB!!!!! YEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
Wait, what? You don't get it? Oh, sorry. I always forget that it's inform then inspire. I've wasted so many great battle rallying cries because I forgot to explain what it is we're rallying for. As my friends, family, landlord, and random creepers and stalkers know, my mailbox is attached to the side of my house due to the fact that my house is older and when it was built, most mail was likely delivered by hand. Well, this was great back then, but now it's not so practical. Now what my mail carrier does is drive to somewhere and park and walk up and down the street delivering the mail. Because it takes much longer to walk from house to house than it does to drive from mailbox to mailbox, the mail carrier can most likely only deliver half (or less) the amount of mail as someone in a mail truck.
Well, this poses a dilemma. On one hand it's great that the mail carrier isn't driving from house to house to deliver mail. Normally I'm all for that. The problem is that if every mail carrier delivered in trucks, we'd need so many less mail carriers. By extension, that would mean so many less mail trucks. After all, my mail carrier still drives from the post office to my street.
So the USPS should look into mandatory curbside mailboxes. I mean, it would save them a lot of money (sorry, that means layoffs. Don't hate me, mail carriers! I'm only doing it for the environment!) And the USPS is sort of desperate for cost cutting suggestions at this point. (They've talked about cutting down mail delivery days from 6 to 5 per week. That means less trucks using less fuel! Yay Postal Service!)
Anyway, I'm all worn out from rallying you all a few paragraphs ago, so at this point please go back to where I say "But alas..." and read that over a few times to get yourselves worked up. I'm going to go take a nap or something...
But alas, Global Warming is not a joke and we don't have time to play games. We need to band together and fight back. Together, armed with the swords of alternative energy, the shields of energy conservation, the breastplates of recycling and the helmets of water conservation, we will ride into battle (in our steeds of hybrid cars?) and we will take back what is rightfully ours! For are we not men and women?! Men and women with rights and freedoms! And while Global Warming may have taken our polar bears and our New Orleans, it has not taken our dignity!! For though we may be beaten down as the tide waters rise and the droughts afflict our land, we will go down in history as those that fought back!! Today, we make a stand for all of mankind!!! We will be remembered as heroes!! STAND YOUR GROUND AND GO PLACE YOUR MAILBOX ON THE CURB!!!!! YEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
Wait, what? You don't get it? Oh, sorry. I always forget that it's inform then inspire. I've wasted so many great battle rallying cries because I forgot to explain what it is we're rallying for. As my friends, family, landlord, and random creepers and stalkers know, my mailbox is attached to the side of my house due to the fact that my house is older and when it was built, most mail was likely delivered by hand. Well, this was great back then, but now it's not so practical. Now what my mail carrier does is drive to somewhere and park and walk up and down the street delivering the mail. Because it takes much longer to walk from house to house than it does to drive from mailbox to mailbox, the mail carrier can most likely only deliver half (or less) the amount of mail as someone in a mail truck.
Well, this poses a dilemma. On one hand it's great that the mail carrier isn't driving from house to house to deliver mail. Normally I'm all for that. The problem is that if every mail carrier delivered in trucks, we'd need so many less mail carriers. By extension, that would mean so many less mail trucks. After all, my mail carrier still drives from the post office to my street.
So the USPS should look into mandatory curbside mailboxes. I mean, it would save them a lot of money (sorry, that means layoffs. Don't hate me, mail carriers! I'm only doing it for the environment!) And the USPS is sort of desperate for cost cutting suggestions at this point. (They've talked about cutting down mail delivery days from 6 to 5 per week. That means less trucks using less fuel! Yay Postal Service!)
Anyway, I'm all worn out from rallying you all a few paragraphs ago, so at this point please go back to where I say "But alas..." and read that over a few times to get yourselves worked up. I'm going to go take a nap or something...
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Green Tip #34: Second Life = Only Life
Hey everybody. Sorry for not posting again yesterday. It's looking like Fridays are just really busy for me so don't be surprised if you start seeing more posts on Saturdays.
Anyway, this one is sort of an exciting Green Tip because it can take a huge bite out of our collective carbon footprint. (By the way, if I ever start a band, I think Collective Carbon Footprint might not be a bad name...) I'm sure many of you have heard of the website Second Life, but for those of you that haven't, I'll give you a little background (source: Wikipedia).
Second Life is a website that started some time in the past 20 years by some computer savvy people. The basic premise is that you can create your own character in the game and then that character can go out and get a job and buy a house and buy clothes and toys and electronics and all that good stuff. Think the Sims, but more customization and realistic. Oh, except you can fly, but that's unrelated. Anyway, you can spend your own real money to get things in this game or you can start your own business and earn fake money in the game to buy things.
If you're pretty environmentally adept, you've probably already figured out where I'm going with this one. Right now, Second Life is only a game, but just think if everyone was logged in 24/7. I mean, there's no need to buy a real car or real gas if you can just fly anywhere you want to in the game. So all we need to do is just to replicate the entire world in the game so people have no need to live in the real world.
Ah, I can see it now: a series of solar panels and wind turbines constantly running to create power to run our computers. And attached to these computers will be the population of the world, quietly playing Second Life with IVs hooked up to them so they never have to stop to get food. The strain that we're currently putting on the environment will be over!
Well, thanks for reading everyone. I'm off to go drive my virtual Hummer absolutely guilt free!
Anyway, this one is sort of an exciting Green Tip because it can take a huge bite out of our collective carbon footprint. (By the way, if I ever start a band, I think Collective Carbon Footprint might not be a bad name...) I'm sure many of you have heard of the website Second Life, but for those of you that haven't, I'll give you a little background (source: Wikipedia).
Second Life is a website that started some time in the past 20 years by some computer savvy people. The basic premise is that you can create your own character in the game and then that character can go out and get a job and buy a house and buy clothes and toys and electronics and all that good stuff. Think the Sims, but more customization and realistic. Oh, except you can fly, but that's unrelated. Anyway, you can spend your own real money to get things in this game or you can start your own business and earn fake money in the game to buy things.
If you're pretty environmentally adept, you've probably already figured out where I'm going with this one. Right now, Second Life is only a game, but just think if everyone was logged in 24/7. I mean, there's no need to buy a real car or real gas if you can just fly anywhere you want to in the game. So all we need to do is just to replicate the entire world in the game so people have no need to live in the real world.
Ah, I can see it now: a series of solar panels and wind turbines constantly running to create power to run our computers. And attached to these computers will be the population of the world, quietly playing Second Life with IVs hooked up to them so they never have to stop to get food. The strain that we're currently putting on the environment will be over!
Well, thanks for reading everyone. I'm off to go drive my virtual Hummer absolutely guilt free!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Green Tip #33: Down With Prunes!
This seems to be happening a lot recently. I’m sitting around in my living room, watching TV, and I see a commercial for some product or company and I can’t pay attention to the message that they’re trying to get across because either 1) their product has some green feature that they’re not highlighting in the commercial, but I tend to notice or 2) their product is so Brown that it just makes me cringe and want to write a blog about it.
As you can imagine, since I already wrote about the first point (Green Tip #29) this Green Tip will be focusing on some company or product that is just soooo bad that I couldn’t even get the point of the commercial.
And that product is prunes.
Yes, the unassuming prune will be the death of us all. And the reason for this is that I saw a commercial for prunes where they were interviewing a couple of people about how they like the individually wrapped prunes. Oh, everyone loved them, of course! They showed a bunch of happy, carefully selected to be racially and age-ly diverse people smiling and enjoying their prunes as if somehow this magical anti-oxidant rich fruit can make them forget that we’re in the middle of a recession and that dear old Dad just lost his job from the GM plant that he’d worked at for 35 years and now he can’t retire and take that trip to Europe that he’d been planning for his whole life. And now he’s talking about how he and Mom are talking about selling the house and moving in with you just to make ends meet. Oh, and by the way, Mom’s vision is going so she can’t drive anymore so you’re going to have to take her to her bingo game every week. Oh yeah, and don’t forget that your son is acting up in school and you’re starting to suspect he’s got a learning disorder so you’ll have to take him to a specialist that charges $150 an hour just to tell you that your son is stupid.
But no, life’s just fine because you’re eating a prune!
What they don’t show is what they’re doing with the individual wrappers that are on each prune. Well I’ll tell you what’s happening to them. They’re going into landfills and falling into waterways and ending up in giant Pacific garbage patches. And I think it’s been pretty well established that giant Pacific garbage patches are a sign of the coming apocalypse, so maybe prunes aren’t all that great.
Anyway, I’m not saying that prunes are the end of society as we know it, so you’re more than welcome to have them. As the world crashes down around us and the flood waters are coming, feel free to gorge yourself on prunes until you fall into an anti-oxidant induced stupor. Just like Nero playing the fiddle while Rome burned, you can sit back and watch while the icecaps melt and droughts choke the life from the world. You won’t care; you’ll have your AMAZING prunes. Individually wrapped prunes! So convenient for you to take into your bomb shelter to avoid the end of the world!
As you can imagine, since I already wrote about the first point (Green Tip #29) this Green Tip will be focusing on some company or product that is just soooo bad that I couldn’t even get the point of the commercial.
And that product is prunes.
Yes, the unassuming prune will be the death of us all. And the reason for this is that I saw a commercial for prunes where they were interviewing a couple of people about how they like the individually wrapped prunes. Oh, everyone loved them, of course! They showed a bunch of happy, carefully selected to be racially and age-ly diverse people smiling and enjoying their prunes as if somehow this magical anti-oxidant rich fruit can make them forget that we’re in the middle of a recession and that dear old Dad just lost his job from the GM plant that he’d worked at for 35 years and now he can’t retire and take that trip to Europe that he’d been planning for his whole life. And now he’s talking about how he and Mom are talking about selling the house and moving in with you just to make ends meet. Oh, and by the way, Mom’s vision is going so she can’t drive anymore so you’re going to have to take her to her bingo game every week. Oh yeah, and don’t forget that your son is acting up in school and you’re starting to suspect he’s got a learning disorder so you’ll have to take him to a specialist that charges $150 an hour just to tell you that your son is stupid.
But no, life’s just fine because you’re eating a prune!
What they don’t show is what they’re doing with the individual wrappers that are on each prune. Well I’ll tell you what’s happening to them. They’re going into landfills and falling into waterways and ending up in giant Pacific garbage patches. And I think it’s been pretty well established that giant Pacific garbage patches are a sign of the coming apocalypse, so maybe prunes aren’t all that great.
Anyway, I’m not saying that prunes are the end of society as we know it, so you’re more than welcome to have them. As the world crashes down around us and the flood waters are coming, feel free to gorge yourself on prunes until you fall into an anti-oxidant induced stupor. Just like Nero playing the fiddle while Rome burned, you can sit back and watch while the icecaps melt and droughts choke the life from the world. You won’t care; you’ll have your AMAZING prunes. Individually wrapped prunes! So convenient for you to take into your bomb shelter to avoid the end of the world!
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Green Tip #32: EZ-Pass
Sorry about that yesterday, it's been a busy week and I couldn't make time to get a post up. But I wouldn't want to just leave you hanging until next Tuesday. I mean, the environment's just going to keep getting worse and any days I take off will be days where Global Warming wins.
So this will be sort of a rare post, not only because it's on Saturday, but also because this will be one of the few Green Tips that don't live up to the "Impractical" part of the "Impractical Green Resource." Possibly. I mean, Green Tip #32 is going to apply to only a small part of the population of the world. So if you don't live in Ohio (more specifically northern Ohio) you won't get a whole lot out of this.
Anyway, Ohio recently unveiled its EZ-Pass system for the Turnpike which makes it quicker and easier to use the tolls in Ohio. This is something that's been done in other states around the Midwest, so Ohio was just slow in getting around to it. Basically how it works is that you pay online however much you want on your account. Then you get a little box that attaches to your windshield and sends a radio signal to the toll both when you drive through and it deducts it from your account. So much quicker, so much simpler!
So I got mine this week and tried it out yesterday driving from Cleveland to Toledo. First of all, it was amazingly simple not worrying about change and getting my wallet out and worrying about where to put my ticket and-
Wait! No ticket! Suddenly this whole EZ-Pass thing is even better then I thought! No tickets means no using paper to print tickets! Yay for hidden environmental benefits! And, to make it even more environmentally friendly, this is just one step closer to a coins-less society. While discussing how bad coin printing is for the environment could be an entirely separate post, let me just say that the less coins we use, the less coins we'll need to print which means less mining of various metals.
So, in conclusion, if you live in a state with an EZ-Pass system and you plan on making some trips on toll roads, do the Green thing and get one of these EZ-Pass transponders!
So this will be sort of a rare post, not only because it's on Saturday, but also because this will be one of the few Green Tips that don't live up to the "Impractical" part of the "Impractical Green Resource." Possibly. I mean, Green Tip #32 is going to apply to only a small part of the population of the world. So if you don't live in Ohio (more specifically northern Ohio) you won't get a whole lot out of this.
Anyway, Ohio recently unveiled its EZ-Pass system for the Turnpike which makes it quicker and easier to use the tolls in Ohio. This is something that's been done in other states around the Midwest, so Ohio was just slow in getting around to it. Basically how it works is that you pay online however much you want on your account. Then you get a little box that attaches to your windshield and sends a radio signal to the toll both when you drive through and it deducts it from your account. So much quicker, so much simpler!
So I got mine this week and tried it out yesterday driving from Cleveland to Toledo. First of all, it was amazingly simple not worrying about change and getting my wallet out and worrying about where to put my ticket and-
Wait! No ticket! Suddenly this whole EZ-Pass thing is even better then I thought! No tickets means no using paper to print tickets! Yay for hidden environmental benefits! And, to make it even more environmentally friendly, this is just one step closer to a coins-less society. While discussing how bad coin printing is for the environment could be an entirely separate post, let me just say that the less coins we use, the less coins we'll need to print which means less mining of various metals.
So, in conclusion, if you live in a state with an EZ-Pass system and you plan on making some trips on toll roads, do the Green thing and get one of these EZ-Pass transponders!
Friday, October 2, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Green Tip #31: Ditch Those iPod Touches!
Hey everyone! Sorry I almost didn't get to this today. It's been a very busy day for me. So anyway I thought I'd get a short one out before midnight strikes and it's technically Wednesday.
So I was thinking about how happy I am that CD's are fading out and being replaced with mp3 players. And the reason for this is several fold. First of all: less CD production and shipping. If there is not physical object that is being manufactured and transported, then there is less strain on the environment in general. Second, if there is no object sitting in the stores, ultimately the stores will end up shrinking by a degree. For example, imagine a Best Buy store, then imagine what would happen if you took the CD section out of it. (And to a related degree, the video game section and the DVD section will someday fall by the wayside (probably a few years later)) And if you read Green Tip #29, you'll know that big stores are worse than little stores.
So CD's = bad for the environment. That's established. But are mp3's that much better? Well, yes and no. I mean, they do use more electricity. But if you go with the iPod shuffle (the one without the screen) then you can use a whole lot less electricity than if you have one with a touch screen and all that fancy stuff. (Again I put in the disclaimer that I'm only singling out iPods because they're the most common. You can use any other mp3 player in this example)
So ditch those mp3 players with the screens! You don't need to know what the song that's playing is called, do you?
So I was thinking about how happy I am that CD's are fading out and being replaced with mp3 players. And the reason for this is several fold. First of all: less CD production and shipping. If there is not physical object that is being manufactured and transported, then there is less strain on the environment in general. Second, if there is no object sitting in the stores, ultimately the stores will end up shrinking by a degree. For example, imagine a Best Buy store, then imagine what would happen if you took the CD section out of it. (And to a related degree, the video game section and the DVD section will someday fall by the wayside (probably a few years later)) And if you read Green Tip #29, you'll know that big stores are worse than little stores.
So CD's = bad for the environment. That's established. But are mp3's that much better? Well, yes and no. I mean, they do use more electricity. But if you go with the iPod shuffle (the one without the screen) then you can use a whole lot less electricity than if you have one with a touch screen and all that fancy stuff. (Again I put in the disclaimer that I'm only singling out iPods because they're the most common. You can use any other mp3 player in this example)
So ditch those mp3 players with the screens! You don't need to know what the song that's playing is called, do you?
Friday, September 25, 2009
Green Tip #30: Stop Eating Our Fuel!
So, corn-based ethanol is something that has been debated quite heatedly for the past few years. Let me just give you a run down on a brief history of corn-based ethanol. Keep in mind that this is only from what I know, so it is probably on par with Wikipedia in terms of accuracy.
So, about 8 or so years ago, some people did some horrible things in New York City which made a bunch of countries invade Afghanistan. Through some nebulous logic and overblown fears made worse by someone waving around a vial of anthrax, a few of those countries then proceeded to invade Iraq (again). Anyway, this whole fear thing and invading thing made people nervous about using Middle East oil.
That's not a big deal when you think about it. We (the people who live in the so called "West") have always been afraid of the Middle East, from the whole Rome and Cleopatra thing through the WWII invasion of the area and on through the whole Iran hostage thing and beyond. So our relationship with the area has been spotty at best.
No, what really made the situation a problem was what China and India were doing at the time. (Don't worry, this is getting back to corn, I promise!) China and India (who I've mentioned before in a not so favorable light) had to go and grow their economies. I mean, who do they think they are, advancing economically and technologically? So they start sucking down all that Middle East oil that the US has work for a few hundred years to secure. That means that the whole world was going to run out of oil, so we all started looking at new sources of fuel.
That leads me to corn-based ethanol. Yay! All the environmentalists started cheering! It comes from the earth, so it can't be bad!! (Don't tell them oil comes from the earth) Well, everyone started pumping a lot of money and resources into making corn refineries and pretty soon corn prices were going up all over the world. This made livestock people mad and environmentalists mad because it uses more energy to make ethanol than you get out of it and basically the whole thing fell apart like a house of cards.
And it didn't make sense to use corn for fuel when so many people around the world were starving. But what if you looked at it a different way? What if the issue wasn't "Why are we turning food into fuel?" but instead "Why are we eating our fuel?" I mean, what if we came up with a fantastic oil-based pie that is sooooooo delicious? Nobody would let you eat that pie without giving you a guilt trip about destroying the environment. So Green Tip #30 is start guilting all of your friends and family whenever they eat corn based food. "Stop eating our fuel!!!"
So, about 8 or so years ago, some people did some horrible things in New York City which made a bunch of countries invade Afghanistan. Through some nebulous logic and overblown fears made worse by someone waving around a vial of anthrax, a few of those countries then proceeded to invade Iraq (again). Anyway, this whole fear thing and invading thing made people nervous about using Middle East oil.
That's not a big deal when you think about it. We (the people who live in the so called "West") have always been afraid of the Middle East, from the whole Rome and Cleopatra thing through the WWII invasion of the area and on through the whole Iran hostage thing and beyond. So our relationship with the area has been spotty at best.
No, what really made the situation a problem was what China and India were doing at the time. (Don't worry, this is getting back to corn, I promise!) China and India (who I've mentioned before in a not so favorable light) had to go and grow their economies. I mean, who do they think they are, advancing economically and technologically? So they start sucking down all that Middle East oil that the US has work for a few hundred years to secure. That means that the whole world was going to run out of oil, so we all started looking at new sources of fuel.
That leads me to corn-based ethanol. Yay! All the environmentalists started cheering! It comes from the earth, so it can't be bad!! (Don't tell them oil comes from the earth) Well, everyone started pumping a lot of money and resources into making corn refineries and pretty soon corn prices were going up all over the world. This made livestock people mad and environmentalists mad because it uses more energy to make ethanol than you get out of it and basically the whole thing fell apart like a house of cards.
And it didn't make sense to use corn for fuel when so many people around the world were starving. But what if you looked at it a different way? What if the issue wasn't "Why are we turning food into fuel?" but instead "Why are we eating our fuel?" I mean, what if we came up with a fantastic oil-based pie that is sooooooo delicious? Nobody would let you eat that pie without giving you a guilt trip about destroying the environment. So Green Tip #30 is start guilting all of your friends and family whenever they eat corn based food. "Stop eating our fuel!!!"
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Green Tip #29: McDonald's PlayPlaces Are Causing Global Warming
It's not very often that I will specifically attack a specific brand or company (other than Hummers or Target) because I don't think it's fair to single out one over the others. So whenever I say McDonald's in this Green Tip, you can substitute it for Burger King or Taco Bell or any of the other fast food companies that hate the environment.
So okay, you're probably wondering about the title. I mean, what's wrong with PlayPlaces? If anything, they're keeping our kids healthy (er). Healthy is a bit of stretch... Anyway, I was watching TV today and I saw a commercial for Rally's (Checkers to some of you in other parts of the country) and I was happy with the hidden environmentally message that they had in their commercial. They might not have even known it, but Rally's was being very Green.
Rally's message was something to the effect of the stores being small, but the taste being big. And that got me thinking. If you think back to the last time you were at Rally's, you'll remember that the store has no place to dine in. Ultimately, that means less space is being taken up by each store. Just think if every McDonald's (with their space consuming PlayPlaces) were replaced with the tiny little Rally's stores. All that extra space could be turned into parks or space for wind turbines. According to a Google search (most reliable source in the world), McDonald's stores take up 4,000 sq feet while Rally's only use a minuscule 700. If McD's cut out all the PlayPlaces and seating area and all that crap, they could save 3,300*31,000=102,300,000 square feet or about 2350 acres. To put that in perspective, that's the size of Lake Providence, Louisiana.
And really, when you think about it, you can eat in your car just as easily as you can in the store. Especially if you drive a Hummer. I mean, those things are the size of McDonald's practically...
So okay, you're probably wondering about the title. I mean, what's wrong with PlayPlaces? If anything, they're keeping our kids healthy (er). Healthy is a bit of stretch... Anyway, I was watching TV today and I saw a commercial for Rally's (Checkers to some of you in other parts of the country) and I was happy with the hidden environmentally message that they had in their commercial. They might not have even known it, but Rally's was being very Green.
Rally's message was something to the effect of the stores being small, but the taste being big. And that got me thinking. If you think back to the last time you were at Rally's, you'll remember that the store has no place to dine in. Ultimately, that means less space is being taken up by each store. Just think if every McDonald's (with their space consuming PlayPlaces) were replaced with the tiny little Rally's stores. All that extra space could be turned into parks or space for wind turbines. According to a Google search (most reliable source in the world), McDonald's stores take up 4,000 sq feet while Rally's only use a minuscule 700. If McD's cut out all the PlayPlaces and seating area and all that crap, they could save 3,300*31,000=102,300,000 square feet or about 2350 acres. To put that in perspective, that's the size of Lake Providence, Louisiana.
And really, when you think about it, you can eat in your car just as easily as you can in the store. Especially if you drive a Hummer. I mean, those things are the size of McDonald's practically...
Friday, September 18, 2009
Green Tip #28: Car-Powered Energy
Huh? This goes against everything that you thought you knew about cars and energy, right? I mean, I've often said over and over that cars use energy. Some use more than others (ahem, Hummers...) but when it comes down to it, all of our cars use a lot of gas and electricity (yes, even your fancy new Chevy Volts and your brand new shiny solar-powered hybrid Priuses (Priusi?) use energy. Don't feel all high and mighty, because you use energy too, just like the rest of us.)
So when you read Green Tip #28: Car-Powered Energy, you probably figure I just mixed up the words and I actually mean Energy-Powered Cars. Nope, not this time. I actually thought of a way to generate electricity just from driving your cars. So, I hope by now that you've heard of wind power (it has been around for a few thousand years, so I'd hope you've heard of it by now.) Anyway, most wind power comes from very large industrial sized wind turbines and somewhat large residential wind turbines. But what about tiny wind turbines?
Think about this: along the shoulders of all the major roads of this country, rows and rows of tiny little wind turbines. I mean, you probably know that when a large truck or van drives past you, you can feel the wind that is being pulled along behind them. What if we could harness that wind power to light the street lights and traffic lights?
I know this will never generate enough energy to make up for all the energy that we use driving cars (I'm looking at you Hummer drivers, and to a much lesser extent the Prius drivers) but at least it will offset some of it. So get out there and get those little wind turbines put in! You can start by stealing all those annoying little sunflower pinwheel things from peoples' yards and hooking them up to batteries. I mean, what's more eco-friendly than sunflowers?
So when you read Green Tip #28: Car-Powered Energy, you probably figure I just mixed up the words and I actually mean Energy-Powered Cars. Nope, not this time. I actually thought of a way to generate electricity just from driving your cars. So, I hope by now that you've heard of wind power (it has been around for a few thousand years, so I'd hope you've heard of it by now.) Anyway, most wind power comes from very large industrial sized wind turbines and somewhat large residential wind turbines. But what about tiny wind turbines?
Think about this: along the shoulders of all the major roads of this country, rows and rows of tiny little wind turbines. I mean, you probably know that when a large truck or van drives past you, you can feel the wind that is being pulled along behind them. What if we could harness that wind power to light the street lights and traffic lights?
I know this will never generate enough energy to make up for all the energy that we use driving cars (I'm looking at you Hummer drivers, and to a much lesser extent the Prius drivers) but at least it will offset some of it. So get out there and get those little wind turbines put in! You can start by stealing all those annoying little sunflower pinwheel things from peoples' yards and hooking them up to batteries. I mean, what's more eco-friendly than sunflowers?
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Green Tip #27: Only Drink Water on the First Floor
Ahh... it's so nice to be able to share this Green Tip with all of you in a print form again. So, let's get back into it. You're probably looking at this title and thinking, "what?? I took all that time and effort to re-learn how to read, and I get this weird Green Tip?" But yes, you are reading that title right and I should probably explain.
So, imagine this situation: you work on the 40th floor of a skyscraper and you're hard at work counting widgets or whatever you happen to be doing for a living. Well, you're working hard and you decide that you need to take a break. So you head over to the break room and you fill the coffee pot with water. First of all, let me just yell at you for wanting to use a coffee pot. When you get the time, check out the wattage of one of those monsters. They're extremely 'brown' appliances. (ha, a coffee joke!) But coffee makers are a different story. I'm here to yell at you about water use.
How do you think that the water makes its way up all those floors to the 40th floor? Yup, it has to be pumped by a pump, somewhere in a water distribution plant in your city. And that uses energy to do that. So what is the solution? I mean you can't just not drink water if you live above the first floor.
Well, you could just bring your own water bottles, right? Wrong! I'm sure you know how bad water bottles are for the environment. All that wasted energy and resources to make and recycle all those bottles. Okay, so maybe you can just walk down 39 floors to use the drinking fountain. Hm... 78 floors of stairs for a drink of water? I don't think so...
So the only solution I can think of is to use a CamelBak at work. And I've heard that they go very well with suits, in case that's how you have to dress for your job. Think about it, you can start a brand new trend in your office!
So, imagine this situation: you work on the 40th floor of a skyscraper and you're hard at work counting widgets or whatever you happen to be doing for a living. Well, you're working hard and you decide that you need to take a break. So you head over to the break room and you fill the coffee pot with water. First of all, let me just yell at you for wanting to use a coffee pot. When you get the time, check out the wattage of one of those monsters. They're extremely 'brown' appliances. (ha, a coffee joke!) But coffee makers are a different story. I'm here to yell at you about water use.
How do you think that the water makes its way up all those floors to the 40th floor? Yup, it has to be pumped by a pump, somewhere in a water distribution plant in your city. And that uses energy to do that. So what is the solution? I mean you can't just not drink water if you live above the first floor.
Well, you could just bring your own water bottles, right? Wrong! I'm sure you know how bad water bottles are for the environment. All that wasted energy and resources to make and recycle all those bottles. Okay, so maybe you can just walk down 39 floors to use the drinking fountain. Hm... 78 floors of stairs for a drink of water? I don't think so...
So the only solution I can think of is to use a CamelBak at work. And I've heard that they go very well with suits, in case that's how you have to dress for your job. Think about it, you can start a brand new trend in your office!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Green Tip #25: Be Illiterate
Hey everyone, sorry for the post so late in the day on Tuesday. I was having a hard time getting motivated. And I'd rather give you a good post later in the day than a thrown together post up in time for you to read during the day.
So, as you can see from the title of this post, I'm entirely sure that all of you reading this are not doing a good job of following Green Tip #25. Before I get into scolding you for not following my advice, let me explain the logic behind this tip.
Okay, here's the chain of logic that I followed. I was trying to think of some way of reducing the amount of paper that people use. Everything I was coming up with (Don't use the restroom to avoid using toilet paper, don't go to school to avoid getting handouts and textbooks, don't have a job to avoid getting paper money, etc.) didn't seem to accomplish the goal on a grand enough scheme. So then I started going deeper. Almost philosophical about paper, really. What is the purpose of paper? Why does paper even exist in the first place? And I came up with the conclusion that paper is mostly used to share and store information mostly in the form of text.
So following that train of thought I came to the realization that all forms of information sharing, from little slips of paper they use for fortunes in fortune cookies to the energy used on computer screen that reading this blog uses, puts some strain on the earth's natural resources.
So stop sharing information. Unless you're just talking to someone or using sign language, you shouldn't be sharing information without feeling a deep horrible feeling of guilt for sucking the earth dry. Now, I know that you can't unlearn the ability to read, but just try it for a while. I'm sure if you don't read anything for a few years, you'll start to forget things.
Now, I know I'm being sort of conceited by saying this, but just think... this Green Tip is going to be the last thing that you will ever read.
Stay strong, Mother Nature will thank you in the long run!
So, as you can see from the title of this post, I'm entirely sure that all of you reading this are not doing a good job of following Green Tip #25. Before I get into scolding you for not following my advice, let me explain the logic behind this tip.
Okay, here's the chain of logic that I followed. I was trying to think of some way of reducing the amount of paper that people use. Everything I was coming up with (Don't use the restroom to avoid using toilet paper, don't go to school to avoid getting handouts and textbooks, don't have a job to avoid getting paper money, etc.) didn't seem to accomplish the goal on a grand enough scheme. So then I started going deeper. Almost philosophical about paper, really. What is the purpose of paper? Why does paper even exist in the first place? And I came up with the conclusion that paper is mostly used to share and store information mostly in the form of text.
So following that train of thought I came to the realization that all forms of information sharing, from little slips of paper they use for fortunes in fortune cookies to the energy used on computer screen that reading this blog uses, puts some strain on the earth's natural resources.
So stop sharing information. Unless you're just talking to someone or using sign language, you shouldn't be sharing information without feeling a deep horrible feeling of guilt for sucking the earth dry. Now, I know that you can't unlearn the ability to read, but just try it for a while. I'm sure if you don't read anything for a few years, you'll start to forget things.
Now, I know I'm being sort of conceited by saying this, but just think... this Green Tip is going to be the last thing that you will ever read.
Stay strong, Mother Nature will thank you in the long run!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Green Tip #24: "Xixi no Banho"
Quite some time ago, I wrote about the negative aspects of outsourcing and how in turn, the countries in the Western Hemisphere should be owed half a day's worth of sunlight in order to save electricity at night. Well, as you might remember, I came down maybe just a little bit hard on the countries that the US typically outsources to. So now, in an effort to be fair and balanced, I thought I would share with you a tip that actually came from overseas.
So, a short while ago, I came across an article about an ad campaign that Brazilian environmental group, SOS Mata Atlantica, is airing on television. It shocked me that they were doing this campaign, because it was so bizarre that I actually considered writing about it in one of the Green Tips. I guess that's what I get for saving good ideas for special occasions; someone in Brazil will beat me to the punch.
Anyway, this unusual ad campaign features the slogan "Xixi no Banho," which, for those of you who are fluent in Portuguese will know means "Pee in the shower." Now, Green Tip #24 is not, as you might imagine, telling you to pee in the shower. I neither endorse nor condemn peeing in the shower. Like religion, politics, and Coke vs. Pepsi, I believe that some decisions should be up to each individual person. Who am I to tell you where you should be peeing? (Just for now pretend you didn't read Green Tip #22. That was under different circumstances.)
No, Green Tip #24 is this: If Ever You Have a Good Green Idea, Share It On Your Blog Before Someone In Brazil Does It Before You. Okay, okay, I guess that in itself will not actually help the environment. But really, I guess it just comes down to me being upset that they got to it before me. So seize the moment if ever you get a good idea and make sure that you get credit for it. I mean just think, you could've been responsible for a couple million peeing in the shower.
... um... come to think of it, that's really gross.
So, a short while ago, I came across an article about an ad campaign that Brazilian environmental group, SOS Mata Atlantica, is airing on television. It shocked me that they were doing this campaign, because it was so bizarre that I actually considered writing about it in one of the Green Tips. I guess that's what I get for saving good ideas for special occasions; someone in Brazil will beat me to the punch.
Anyway, this unusual ad campaign features the slogan "Xixi no Banho," which, for those of you who are fluent in Portuguese will know means "Pee in the shower." Now, Green Tip #24 is not, as you might imagine, telling you to pee in the shower. I neither endorse nor condemn peeing in the shower. Like religion, politics, and Coke vs. Pepsi, I believe that some decisions should be up to each individual person. Who am I to tell you where you should be peeing? (Just for now pretend you didn't read Green Tip #22. That was under different circumstances.)
No, Green Tip #24 is this: If Ever You Have a Good Green Idea, Share It On Your Blog Before Someone In Brazil Does It Before You. Okay, okay, I guess that in itself will not actually help the environment. But really, I guess it just comes down to me being upset that they got to it before me. So seize the moment if ever you get a good idea and make sure that you get credit for it. I mean just think, you could've been responsible for a couple million peeing in the shower.
... um... come to think of it, that's really gross.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Green Tip #23: For Women Only
Hey, don't think that I forgot about the women readers out there. I mean, it would be hardly fair to give out green tips to men and not have one for the women. And remember guys, just because this is written for women doesn't mean that you don't have to pay attention. Think about this next time it's your anniversary or your wife or girlfriend or mother's birthday. And unfortunately, because we're guys, I'm sure some of you out there were just reminded that one of these events is tomorrow or was last week and you're thinking "oh shoot! I forgot to get her something!!" Don't worry, I've got you covered.
So one thing that I've seemed to notice over the years is that many women tend to amass vast collections of shoes. I know, it might sound like I'm being stereotypical, but if it bothers you that much, I'd be more than happy to conduct a survey and prove scientifically that you're making a big deal out of nothing.
So, back to shoes. What many people don't realize is that shoe-making is quite a Brown (not Green) operation. There is the issue of where the material comes from (cows for leather, rubber trees, glue trees, plastic um.... trees?) and how much of a strain that puts on the environment. Also there is a lot of water that's used and electricity to run the machines. So use less automation, right? Nope, companies tried that in the 90's and got in BIG trouble for using child labor. So what is the environmentally conscious woman to do to satisfy her urge to have a lot of shoes?
I'm not going to say don't buy as many shoes.... directly. I mean, I'm not going to be the one to tell my girlfriend that she only needs a few pairs and that she can make them work for all different outfits. Here's what I suggest instead. And pay close attention, because I don't think I'll ever endorse this product again, but buy many cans of spray paint in all different colors.
Ugh, spray paint with it's chemicals and propellants. Blech! But it's better than buying a lot of shoes. Women, simply find 3 or 4 pairs that you really like for the style of them, then just mix and match with different spray paint colors.
And guys, do the math, a six pack of spray paint costs around $25. So let's say you buy 12 colors. That's $50. 12 colors times 4 pairs of shoes = 48 different shoe varieties. $5 for 48 pairs of shoes? That's a deal not even most guys could pass up.
(note: the author of this post is not responsible for any negative reactions to gifts given based on the advice of The Impractical Green Resource. Do not attempt to contact the author regarding canceled wedding plans, break ups, or evictions. In the event of a break up or eviction, please consult Green Tips #19 and #13, respectively)
So one thing that I've seemed to notice over the years is that many women tend to amass vast collections of shoes. I know, it might sound like I'm being stereotypical, but if it bothers you that much, I'd be more than happy to conduct a survey and prove scientifically that you're making a big deal out of nothing.
So, back to shoes. What many people don't realize is that shoe-making is quite a Brown (not Green) operation. There is the issue of where the material comes from (cows for leather, rubber trees, glue trees, plastic um.... trees?) and how much of a strain that puts on the environment. Also there is a lot of water that's used and electricity to run the machines. So use less automation, right? Nope, companies tried that in the 90's and got in BIG trouble for using child labor. So what is the environmentally conscious woman to do to satisfy her urge to have a lot of shoes?
I'm not going to say don't buy as many shoes.... directly. I mean, I'm not going to be the one to tell my girlfriend that she only needs a few pairs and that she can make them work for all different outfits. Here's what I suggest instead. And pay close attention, because I don't think I'll ever endorse this product again, but buy many cans of spray paint in all different colors.
Ugh, spray paint with it's chemicals and propellants. Blech! But it's better than buying a lot of shoes. Women, simply find 3 or 4 pairs that you really like for the style of them, then just mix and match with different spray paint colors.
And guys, do the math, a six pack of spray paint costs around $25. So let's say you buy 12 colors. That's $50. 12 colors times 4 pairs of shoes = 48 different shoe varieties. $5 for 48 pairs of shoes? That's a deal not even most guys could pass up.
(note: the author of this post is not responsible for any negative reactions to gifts given based on the advice of The Impractical Green Resource. Do not attempt to contact the author regarding canceled wedding plans, break ups, or evictions. In the event of a break up or eviction, please consult Green Tips #19 and #13, respectively)
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