Green Tip #103: Cool It Down

Oftentimes in The Impractical Green Resource, I don't just present the obvious facts and let you walk away with Green Tips that don't do you any good because they're really obvious. So keep that in mind when I give you Green Tip #103. It's going to start off really obvious, but if you stick it out, you'll see where I'm going with it and understand the value in my pearls of wisdom (harvested from only free range, organic oysters that have no rBGH injected in them).

So Green Tip #103 is to Stop Drinking Warm Drinks. "Well, duh!" people with little short term memory might think that have forgotten the last paragraph. "You'll save energy by not using the microwave or the stove or the cigarette lighter from your car as you cower, trapped inside by an angry swarm of bees that are after your tea with honey in it."

Well, Mr. Short Term Memory Loss But Compensating For It With Your Overactive Imagination, sit tight for a minute and keep reading. Like an onion (organically grown with no synthetic fertilizers on a farm that practices sustainable farming) or a parfait or an ogre, this Green Tip has layers. Yes, you will save energy. But you will also reduce carbon emissions.

I mentioned this a long time ago when I referenced how you shouldn't exercise, but I want you to stop breathing. Every breath you take sucks more oxygen out of the atmosphere and spits out more carbon dioxide. So every time you blow on your hot soup to cool it down, you're contributing to Global Warming. Shame on you...

So go drink that room temperature tea! (Iced Tea is bad because your fridge uses electricity to make ice) Because when your mutated, sterile grandkids ask you why your generation didn't do more to stop Global Warming from causing WWIII and wiping out 95% of the population in nuclear Armageddon, you can always say that you did your part by not drinking warm coffee.