Green Tip #53: Global Warming is Good, Part 2

I think it is especially poignant that I talk more about Global Warming this week for two reasons. First of all, yesterday was the first day that it snowed here in Northwest Ohio which is a good sign. I can only assume that we’ve won the War on Global Warming, otherwise I’d be out sunbathing instead of bundled up in my sweatshirt and blankets.

The other reason that I feel it’s appropriate to write about Global Warming today is that world leaders are meeting in Europe this week to talk about what countries can do to combat Climate Change. This is a bad sign, which means that we probably haven’t won the War on Global Warming. Dang! I thought the snow was a good sign. Hm, maybe Global Warming is just hibernating this winter so it can make a fierce comeback this spring. We’ll just assume that Global Warming is still out there otherwise I wouldn’t have anything to write in the Impractical Green Resource.

Anyway, I don’t see why the world leaders need to meet to figure things out. I mean, I’ve given the world 52+ very helpful Green Tips that should’ve fixed things by now. I can only assume that people in other countries can’t read English and the IGR is doing them little good. Hm, I knew I should’ve learned Chinese.

But if Global Warming is inevitable, we might as well at least look for a silver lining of the whole situation. So I was reading about how the ice sheets in Greenland and Antarctica are melting more and more each summer. At first I was horrified about rising sea levels and disrupting the oceanic currents. Then I read about how droughts were likely to increase in severity and frequency as the global temperature rises. That’s when I had my epiphany!

If all that fresh water is dumped into the oceans, the overall salinity of the ocean water will decrease (the oceans won’t be so salty). And less salty water is easier to convert to fresh water than more salty water. Ta Da! We can just convert sea water into drinkable water to solve the droughts!

Yes, it’s true, changing the oceans from salt water to fresh water will probably kill off thousands of species of fish and coral and plankton, but you know what? People won’t miss them that much. All of the fish that we eat now can be put into fisheries and the rest are probably weird and gross anyway.