Hey Ugly Faces! How has your week been going? Probably not too great because everyone's been commenting about how grotesque you are. And I can see why they'd say that, after all, your face is pretty hideous.
Okay, that may have been a bit harsh, but you'll understand why I said those nasty things after I explain Green Tip #97 to you. Have you ever seen those vanity mirrors? You know, the ones that have really bright lights surrounding them so you can see your face better in order to put on makeup or see if that mole hair is getting any longer so you know if you need to worry about skin cancer.
Well, there is one major difference between vanity mirrors and regular mirrors. Regular mirrors don't use any electricity! Well, no electricity to use anyway. So if your self esteem is so low that you don't need to see your ugly faces with any detail, you won't be using as much electricity!
But wait, let's take it one step further! If you are so repulsed by your own face (as you should be), you don't even need any mirrors at all, saving you glass and metal. And if you don't have a mirror, you certainly won't bother with things like makeup and face washes, so that will keep chemicals from getting into the environment!
Well, it looks like I finally found a way for you to be useful to society and the environment! It's about time that someone found a use for you, you hideous monster. I just have one more question: was your mother an Asian Carp?
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