Green Tip #99: Three Birds With One Stone

So this Green Tip will be dedicated to a friend of mine who, ironically enough, won't be able to read this because he'll be in another country where he may or may not have access to the Internet. That other country, which shall remain nameless to protect the identity of those who live there (totally unnecessary), happens to be on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean from the USA.

So anyway, after I drove my friend to the airport, I started thinking about oceans and I thought back to the good ole' days before the Atlantic Ocean existed. Ah, yes, I remember it like it was just 130 millions years ago. Times were much simpler back then. Animals didn't have to worry about crossing an ocean to visit their relatives. We didn't have to worry about things like ocean currents reversing because of Greenland melting. There was no such thing as the Great Atlantic Garbage Patch. Good times... Good times...

But wait! Couldn't go go back to those days of Pangea? If we can send a man to the moon, surely we can push continents closer together! I mean, could you imagine if England and New England were finally reunited? It would cut down on so much gas if we could drive 'across the pond' (or lack thereof) instead of having to fly. Also, the GAGP would end up being smushed into a big plastic blob wedged between the two continents. And thirdly, pushing continents together would make Greenland be pushed north into the Arctic Circle, which would keep it cool enough that it wouldn't melt!

Now, how you're going to manage to get continents back together isn't really my concern. Now if someone wants a really fun challenge, you can create a blog about how to put my crazy ideas into practice. It would be difficult, but it could be pretty rewarding!