Green Tip #71: Everyone Should Live in Ohio or Nepal

Usually I feel bad that I let things like my personal life and the Olympics get in the way of posting new Green Tips, but this time I'm actually pretty glad that I didn't get around to it yesterday. Because if I had tried to write a new post yesterday, then I wouldn't have been inspired to come up with Green Tip #71. Green Tip #71 is, of course, that everyone should move to either Nepal or Ohio.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. "Why didn't I think of that, it's so obvious?!" It's okay that you didn't think of it first. After all, it's my job to do this sort of thing. And if you thought of it first, what would be the point of me writing the IGR? So yeah, move to Ohio or Nepal and that should solve some of the environmental problems that we're facing.

What? That isn't what you're thinking? Oh, my bad. What are you thinking? "I have no idea how Green Tip #71 makes any sense?" Jeez, ok, fine. I'll explain it in great detail for all of you out there that are a little slow to catch up.

While I was watching the Olympics last night, I noticed that Nepal's flag was sort of unusually shaped.

Exhibit 1. Nepal's Flag

Jackpot! Think of all the cloth that people could save by having a flag that isn't all there (not in an offensive way). I did always feel unpatriotic waving a fully rectangular American flag at parades and things just because of how much cotton had to be harvested for the flag.

So I was all ready to pack my bags and head out to Nepal (after I figured out where Nepal is). But as I thought about it more, I realized that I didn't feel so sure about spending the rest of my life living in a country that has water buffalo meat as a chief industry. Then it dawned on me! I didn't have to move to Nepal! Ohio's flag is almost as unusually shaped!

Exhibit 2. Ohio's Flag

Yes, that's right. Ohio's goofy shaped flag that was always so awkward to draw in elementary school social studies class is actually good for the environment. So everyone else, pack your bags! We've got plenty of room to take everyone just so long as we fill in all of our farmlands with apartment complexes! Welcome home!