So for the longest time, environmentalists have been advocating bicycle riding or walking as the most green way to travel. "Think of all the GHG's you could be eliminating!" your co-worker Gary proclaims. Meanwhile this train of thoughts runs through your head. 1) What is a GHG anyway? 2) A GHG kinda sounds like one of the steroids that major-league baseball players use. 3) Speaking of baseball, I wonder who the Cleveland Indians play tonight. 4) Maybe I should have some of the guys over tonight to watch the game. 5) Ugh, but then I'll have to invite Gary over because he's so nosy and he'll find out anyway. 6) I can't stand watching sports with him. 7) Maybe I could just go to the sports bar and watch it there. 8) Shoot, I'll need to get gas on my way there, because my Hummer is running low again.
At this point, Gary the environmentalist will know that you're thinking about Hummers and get on your case again about Green House Gases (oooh, that's what those are!) and how you should be riding a bike to work. Well, since you are a proud user of The Impractical Green Resource, you can easily win this arguement! While practical knowledge would say that bike riding, roller blading, snow-shoeing, etc. is the most eco-friendly, you know better!
In addition to all the extra time you take getting to places and being late for things, you are also exerting yourself so much more physically. And what happens when you exert yourself too much? Well, yes, I suppose hernias is a correct answer, but I was thinking you breathe harder. And with each breath that you breath out, you release more and more carbon dioxide and other GHG's.
The real most environmentally conscious method of transportation?
Hitchhiking.
Suck it Gary.
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