Well, everyone should already know what this one's about (partly because of the title, also because I talked about it yesterday). This is redundant, but it's time for the match up between (1) Bikes vs. (8) Buses!
Bikes
Bikes, invented sometime before I was born so therefore during a time I don't really know or care about, have taken hold mostly for recreational purposes or for people in bigger cities. If you need me to explain more, I applaud your ability to use a computer.
Impact on the Environment (12/15):
As a t-shirt that I own says (it always comes down to the t-shirts, doesn't it?), Bikes get infinity miles per gallon of gas. That of course assumes you aren't drinking gasoline before you ride your Bike (I'd recommend E85. It's made from corn!), but you get the point. If everyone rode their Bikes everywhere, it would save a whole lot of gas, but people would have to take a whole lot of trips when moving. Just don't eat too much more when making those extra trips and Bikes and Biking is great for the environment.
Practicality (4/10):
Like I mentioned in the last paragraph, things like moving and long road trips can be more than a little difficult if you rely only on Bikes. That's why Biking is mainly used for recreational purposes.
Sustainability (9/10):
Bikes last a LOOOOOOONG time. Much fewer moving parts and things exploding inside them (how do you think gasoline engines work?) means Bikes will be around longer than cars. You buy a Bike and it can last for 20 or more years if you keep up with the maintenance. And no oil changes? I like the sound of that.
Awesomeness (9/10):
In my professional opinion, you can't be a true eco-hippie without having a Bike in your garage (or in your cave if you're taking the eco-hippie thing way too far). And how about this excuse: "I'm sorry, I can't go to my in-laws for Christmas because I don't own a car and it's too cold to ride my Bike." That'll get you out of so many things you don't want to go to!
User Input (0/5):
Get those comments in, everyone!
Buses
I'd say Buses were pretty well explained yesterday. Check it out if you're curious.
Impact on the Environment (8/15):
Buses, unlike Bikes, do feature things exploding inside their engines (hopefully just gasoline and not bombs like in the movie Speed), so they will naturally be less environmentally friendly. They do, however, use less gas per person than cars and trucks, so they are at least somewhat good for the environment.
Practicality (Either 4 (empty) or 7 (crowded) / 10):
The problem with Buses is that I've heard they're actually worse in terms of gas mileage per person than cars if they are underused. So people need to start riding the Bus much more often which would make Buses more crowded and really, who likes a crowded Bus? That just drops the awesomeness score down to 0.
Sustainability (3/10):
Buses require a lot of upkeep. Especially because they are part of a public service, if a Bus breaks down for whatever reason, there are a whole lot of passengers that will end up being horribly irate. There is also the potential for lawsuits if the Bus crashes, so who wants to deal with that mess?
Awesomeness (3 (empty) or 0 (crowded)/10):
Have you ever been on an empty Bus? It's nice, you get to stretch your feet out and relax. But even still, you can't relax too much because who knows who's sat in that seat before you and how often they clean the seats. Oh, and the fact that it stops every quarter of a mile can get a bit tedious. Now combine that with having to stand way too close to someone who you wonder where they've been before they got on that Bus and how often they clean themselves.
User Input (0/5):
Get those comments in, everyone!
Alright, let's tally those scores!
Bikes: 34
Buses: 18
This shouldn't come as too much of a surprise to anyone. Check it out next time when (4) Biofuels and (5) Trains go head to head!
Showing posts with label buses. Show all posts
Showing posts with label buses. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Not a Green Tip #3: Apologies
For those of you that were aghast to find that I was actually going to apologize for something, let me just reassure you that, like the politicians I dissed in the first match up of the Tournament, I'm going to turn it around at the end and make it something positive. You'll see; it'll be epic!
I'd actually like to make an apology that is twofold. And the second of those two folds is, complexly enough, also twofold. (You're my new best friend if you get what I'm referencing! Don't bother Googling it unless you want to learn how to fold shirts.) Without further ado, here it comes.
My first apology comes from a mistake I made just recently when I was discussing the awesomeness of Energy Star Ratings during its head-to-head (most worthless link ever. Just scroll down!) against Reducing and Reusing in the Tournament. I stated, and I paraphrase, "And upon the date of my spying some cotton-based article of adornment, I shalt feel the most unusual occurrence beginning to develop upon my countenance. For I will find myself gazing upon the emblem which had hitherto eluded my cunning and worldly experiences. It shalt be none other than the Energy Star logo, and as far as I can conjecture, no man nor personage of the fairer sex has yet seen this as of this present hour." Basically, I've never seen an Energy Star t-shirt.
Until now.
Okay, so that's a stretch. You could have a shirt made with any sorts of logos, including the Energy Star one, but the fact of the matter is that it could theoretically exist out there. But looking back at the scores, Energy Star would have to score a perfect 10 in awesomeness in order to simply tie Reducing and Reusing. And I don't know about you, but all the t-shirts in the world can't help out Energy Star that much in awesomeness.
So, moving on to my next (twofold) apology. A while back, when I was discussing Disney World, I insulted non-Disney World buses calling them, and I quote directly, "somewhat frightening sometimes with homeless people and drunkards." Now, I don't want to apologize to bus owners or bus passengers, don't misunderstand me. I still feel that inner city buses are terrifying. No, I want to apologize to drunkards and homeless people.
Drunkards and the homeless get way too much blame for all of society's ills. Sure, they sometimes smell like vomit and urine, but still I feel like I don't have any right to insult them like that. Mainly because they're probably following my advice.
You see, WAAAAAY back in the early days of the Impractical Green Resource, I wrote a quaint little Green Tip called Green Tip #13 that was aimed at people that were struggling with the Recession. I argued that people who were poor and out of work were better for the environment. I also went so far as to say that you need to lose your home before you can be truly Green. So next time I see a homeless person, I'll be sure to thank them for the sacrifices they've made for the environment. You should too!
Continuing on, I also need to apologize to drunkards, who are clearly just following the advice I gave in Green Tip #79. I posted that on March 19, 2010, so I was clearly aiming it at the people who believe that St. Patrick was such a good saint that his holiday should be celebrated for at least three days in a row. In other words, alcoholics! Yes, the drunkards you see on the bus are most likely there because they got drunk to avoid the temptation of driving their gas-guzzling SUVs. Great job, guys (in a gender-neutral way)!
So with all this talk about the buses, you're sure to see them in a whole new light, won't you? In fact, you're probably dying to know more about buses and their impact on the environment, right? Well great!!! Check out the IGR tomorrow for the match-up between Biking and Buses!
(Wasn't that epic? Turning an apology into a self promotion? Seriously, Marcy Kaptur, just hand over the keys to the US Congress seat because I'm already such a darn good politician.)
I'd actually like to make an apology that is twofold. And the second of those two folds is, complexly enough, also twofold. (You're my new best friend if you get what I'm referencing! Don't bother Googling it unless you want to learn how to fold shirts.) Without further ado, here it comes.
My first apology comes from a mistake I made just recently when I was discussing the awesomeness of Energy Star Ratings during its head-to-head (most worthless link ever. Just scroll down!) against Reducing and Reusing in the Tournament. I stated, and I paraphrase, "And upon the date of my spying some cotton-based article of adornment, I shalt feel the most unusual occurrence beginning to develop upon my countenance. For I will find myself gazing upon the emblem which had hitherto eluded my cunning and worldly experiences. It shalt be none other than the Energy Star logo, and as far as I can conjecture, no man nor personage of the fairer sex has yet seen this as of this present hour." Basically, I've never seen an Energy Star t-shirt.
Until now.
Okay, so that's a stretch. You could have a shirt made with any sorts of logos, including the Energy Star one, but the fact of the matter is that it could theoretically exist out there. But looking back at the scores, Energy Star would have to score a perfect 10 in awesomeness in order to simply tie Reducing and Reusing. And I don't know about you, but all the t-shirts in the world can't help out Energy Star that much in awesomeness.
So, moving on to my next (twofold) apology. A while back, when I was discussing Disney World, I insulted non-Disney World buses calling them, and I quote directly, "somewhat frightening sometimes with homeless people and drunkards." Now, I don't want to apologize to bus owners or bus passengers, don't misunderstand me. I still feel that inner city buses are terrifying. No, I want to apologize to drunkards and homeless people.
Drunkards and the homeless get way too much blame for all of society's ills. Sure, they sometimes smell like vomit and urine, but still I feel like I don't have any right to insult them like that. Mainly because they're probably following my advice.
You see, WAAAAAY back in the early days of the Impractical Green Resource, I wrote a quaint little Green Tip called Green Tip #13 that was aimed at people that were struggling with the Recession. I argued that people who were poor and out of work were better for the environment. I also went so far as to say that you need to lose your home before you can be truly Green. So next time I see a homeless person, I'll be sure to thank them for the sacrifices they've made for the environment. You should too!
Continuing on, I also need to apologize to drunkards, who are clearly just following the advice I gave in Green Tip #79. I posted that on March 19, 2010, so I was clearly aiming it at the people who believe that St. Patrick was such a good saint that his holiday should be celebrated for at least three days in a row. In other words, alcoholics! Yes, the drunkards you see on the bus are most likely there because they got drunk to avoid the temptation of driving their gas-guzzling SUVs. Great job, guys (in a gender-neutral way)!
So with all this talk about the buses, you're sure to see them in a whole new light, won't you? In fact, you're probably dying to know more about buses and their impact on the environment, right? Well great!!! Check out the IGR tomorrow for the match-up between Biking and Buses!
(Wasn't that epic? Turning an apology into a self promotion? Seriously, Marcy Kaptur, just hand over the keys to the US Congress seat because I'm already such a darn good politician.)
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