This seems to be happening a lot recently. I’m sitting around in my living room, watching TV, and I see a commercial for some product or company and I can’t pay attention to the message that they’re trying to get across because either 1) their product has some green feature that they’re not highlighting in the commercial, but I tend to notice or 2) their product is so Brown that it just makes me cringe and want to write a blog about it.
As you can imagine, since I already wrote about the first point (Green Tip #29) this Green Tip will be focusing on some company or product that is just soooo bad that I couldn’t even get the point of the commercial.
And that product is prunes.
Yes, the unassuming prune will be the death of us all. And the reason for this is that I saw a commercial for prunes where they were interviewing a couple of people about how they like the individually wrapped prunes. Oh, everyone loved them, of course! They showed a bunch of happy, carefully selected to be racially and age-ly diverse people smiling and enjoying their prunes as if somehow this magical anti-oxidant rich fruit can make them forget that we’re in the middle of a recession and that dear old Dad just lost his job from the GM plant that he’d worked at for 35 years and now he can’t retire and take that trip to Europe that he’d been planning for his whole life. And now he’s talking about how he and Mom are talking about selling the house and moving in with you just to make ends meet. Oh, and by the way, Mom’s vision is going so she can’t drive anymore so you’re going to have to take her to her bingo game every week. Oh yeah, and don’t forget that your son is acting up in school and you’re starting to suspect he’s got a learning disorder so you’ll have to take him to a specialist that charges $150 an hour just to tell you that your son is stupid.
But no, life’s just fine because you’re eating a prune!
What they don’t show is what they’re doing with the individual wrappers that are on each prune. Well I’ll tell you what’s happening to them. They’re going into landfills and falling into waterways and ending up in giant Pacific garbage patches. And I think it’s been pretty well established that giant Pacific garbage patches are a sign of the coming apocalypse, so maybe prunes aren’t all that great.
Anyway, I’m not saying that prunes are the end of society as we know it, so you’re more than welcome to have them. As the world crashes down around us and the flood waters are coming, feel free to gorge yourself on prunes until you fall into an anti-oxidant induced stupor. Just like Nero playing the fiddle while Rome burned, you can sit back and watch while the icecaps melt and droughts choke the life from the world. You won’t care; you’ll have your AMAZING prunes. Individually wrapped prunes! So convenient for you to take into your bomb shelter to avoid the end of the world!
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