*sniff sniff* Do you smell that? Ah yes, it's the smell of turkeys roasting in the oven and pumpkin pies.
Take that turkey out of the oven! You've still got two days! It'll be WAY overdone by Thanksgiving!
But that smell does mean that today is the first in my four part series about how to celebrate a Greener Thanksgiving! Today I'll be sharing with you my secrets for Greener Holiday Travel.
Now, if you're like me and most of the country, you live pretty far away from at least some members of your family. So whether they're coming in to visit you or you're going out of town to visit them, you can only imagine what kind of a toll this extra transportation will take on the environment. All that jet fuel burning or car exhaust or train smoke or whatnot. At the rate we're releasing carbon emissions all of the turkeys might be killed off by Global Warming by next Thanksgiving! So what's the best option for the environmentally conscious traveler? Trains? Buses? Carpooling?
Nope! It's to build robot clones of your loved ones! Now, I know it sounds crazy, but it might just work. Depending on how many you can afford, just select several of your favorite relatives and have robots made that look and act just like them. This means you won't have to emit any more carbon emissions driving or flying out of town! And this is good for all holidays, not just Thanksgiving.
It may be a bit steep price-wise, but think of it as an investment. You can spend a few thousand dollars now (or million, who knows how much robot clones really cost) or you can spend that much over the course of your life traveling here and there. And that means you can sell your car, as you won't need to travel. Well, really, you'll need to sell your car in order to afford the robots, so that works out.
But wait! There's more! This isn't an environmental benefit, so to speak, but I've often mentioned how robots are going to take over the world one day. So it would seem weird that I'd endorse making more robots to put in this world. But the way I see it is that if it's inevitable that you will be a slave to a robot one day, why not make the robots look like your parents? That way nothing will change. Only instead of yelling at you because you broke curfew or didn't clean your room, they'll be yelling at you to work harder in the endrium mines so they can build more robot warriors!
Happy Thanksgiving Eve Eve everyone! Make sure to come back tomorrow when I'll be explaining how to cook a Green Thanksgiving Meal (use green food coloring, of course! Sorry... Lame... I know.)
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