Well, I don't know what to tell you. Things still aren't fixed. The Garbage Patch is still there. (So random, but saying "Garbage Patch" made me think of Cabbage Patch Kids. Garbage Patch Kids would be a horrible horrible toy. Never let me work for Mattel.) Not that I expected it to get fixed in a week, but as far as I know, it hasn't even started shrinking at all. But it's okay for now, I've actually got something more pressing. And I know, nothing is more pressing than the Apocalypse, but, well, this Pacific Garbage Patch isn't directly costing me money, while this new issue is.
Gas prices. I'm pretty sure that over the past few years, we've all wasted way too much time and breath complaining about them then things finally got better about a year ago. Well guess what? They're working their way back up again. Around here, gas prices jumped suddenly from $2.15ish to $2.45ish. Then just a few days ago, they jumped again to $2.65ish. I can see the writing on the wall. Pretty soon we'll have to all start complaining about gas prices again, and honestly, I'm all out of things to complain about. And I'm out of people to complain to.
So here's what other, more "professional" green blogs will tell you to do: "Lame Green Tip #1: Drive slower on the freeways. Dropping your speed from 70 to 65 will increase your fuel efficiency by some percentage." YAAAAAWN. We've heard it all before. "Fill your tires." "Change your oil regularly." Blah Blah Blah. If those methods actually did work, gas prices wouldn't be going back up. They'd still be going down. We need to take things to the next level.
It's common knowledge that half of the population of the world is stupider than the average person. (Think really hard about that. It makes sense.) And the average person has heard the lessons that I mentioned in the last paragraph about driving slow and all that. So, logic will tell you that half of the population of the world does not follow those simple and only mildly effective lessons. Here's where you, the now-very-well-educated readers of the IGR have to step things up. Those people who don't follow those rules are the ones that are causing gas prices to rise and ultimately they're costing you more money.
Here's what you do. Green Tip #18 is to find someone that is driving the optimal speed for gas mileage. It'll vary by car, but it should be around 55 mph. It shouldn't be difficult to find someone who's going that speed. (Hint - these people tend to forget their turn signals are still on, so look for that tell tale sign.) Then all you have to do is pull up in the lane next to them and match their speed. Everyone behind you who would normally be going 75, 80, 90 or more mph will be forced to match your fuel efficient rate of 55 mph and there you have it. Think of all the gas you'll be saving them!
There are a few points to note. First, this works best on two lane roads, but for more you just need to find friends who will be willing to give you a hand. Second, at first the people behind you will be, well, upset isn't a strong enough word. But if you have a bumper sticker that explains what you're doing, that should smooth some things over very well. Make sure you put the link to the IGR (impracticalgreen.blogspot.com) on the bumper sticker too! Publicity is never a bad thing!
But seriously, don't forget about that Garbage Patch, I don't think it's going anywhere soon.
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