Now, you'll have noticed that over the past months that I've been writing The Impractical Green Resource, more often than not, I've advocated NOT doing things. Don't ever brake when you're driving. Don't use tissues. Don't wear clothes. Don't use wrapping paper. Don't ever leave your house. You're probably sick of me by now telling you what you can't do. And, yes, I realize that I've been a little bit of a stick in the mud. And you know what, I think I'll make it up to you. I'm going to suggest that you do something fun.
Taking that trip to Hawaii is actually a pretty Green Thing to do. In fact, that's Green Tip #63. Take a trip to Hawaii right now.
"But wait!" you're probably thinking or saying out loud to yourself (by the way, talking to yourself can be an early sign of schizophrenia, so I'd get that checked out), "how can a trip to Hawaii be a Green Tip?? Think of all the fuel wasted in flying out there and back! And what about the fact that I'll have to rent a car when I get there? And all those mountains??? I'm sure I'll get horrible gas mileage!"
"Calm down for a second," I tell myself. "I'm missing the point of the Green Tip."
"Oh yeah, what's that?"
"Well, I happen to know that due to tectonic activity, Hawaii is moving 3 inches towards Japan every year."
"Really? That doesn't seem all that significant..."
"Yeah, but think of the extra fuel that the plane will use getting those extra three inches."
"Psh! It's only three inches!"
"Okay then, we'll just land three inches short of the runway and you can get out and push us the last little bit."
"I can't push a jet at all, let alone three inches!"
"Well if you can't do it, that should give you an idea of how much fuel it must take..."
"Hm, maybe you're right. I'm going to go pack right now!"
Well, I think I've been talking to myself just a bit too much. I'm going to end this now before somebody (SPOILERS!) pushes me in to the fires of Mount Doom.
Enjoy Hawaii!
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