Green Tip #11: Live on an Island

This Green Tip is one that will require some explaining, so I’m not going to waste time setting it up with irrelevant stories about my life or current events. Green Tip #11 is to go live on an island. It doesn’t matter which one. Or where it’s at. It could be in saltwater or freshwater. It could be in an ocean or a lake. It could even be in the middle of a river. That’s not important. The only thing that makes a difference is the size of the island. Smaller is better. You won’t be doing the environment any favors by living in Australia. Actually it would be worse to live down under just because of all the AC costs. But that’s a different story for a different blog. A blog that would probably end up insulting many countries and/or ethnic groups. And will therefore never be written.

But yeah, back to the island. You’re probably thinking that living on an island is almost the opposite of being a responsible environmentalist. Getting power to an island would be a pain with all the extra underwater power lines. Food and fresh water would have to be shipped to you via boats or airplanes and that would put a big strain on the environment. Not to mention that if you wanted to travel to see someone or you want to have guests, you’d have to fly them in. So this idea may not seem that great. Hold on for just one minute, though.

If you’ve seen as many movies as I have, you’ll know that there is no better way to drive yourself crazy than to live by yourself on an island for a few years. And let me ask you this: how many crazy island people do you see listening to iPods or playing on their laptops? I mean, they don’t even have iPods on ‘Lost’ and they’ve got everything. Including polar bears. An every good environmentalist knows that bad environmental policies kill polar bears, so you know they’re doing something right on that island. (Side note, does anyone else see the Smoke Monster on that show as a metaphor for Global Warming? I mean, it looks like what burning fossil fuels looks like. And it kills people.)

So yeah, I think ‘Lost’ just about proves everything. Live on an island and you’ll cut down your carbon footprint. Oh, living in a jungle works too. I mean, Robin Williams in Jumanji didn’t have an iPod either. Think about that for a while.